Hitler Speaks Through His Sock-Puppet “Jacob Freeze”

I was visiting the soul of my pal Barack Obama in Future-Hell yesterday and he mentioned his internet sock-puppet, the idiot Jacob Freeze, “prophetic wonder-man of political blogging” with a single-digit audience of single-digit weirdos.

“You wanna get some stuff off your chest somewhere nobody will pay it no fucking attention?” says Barry. “This guy is more obscure than farting in Martian Morse code!”

“Toot-ta-ta-toot-toot!” says I, and we’re off to the “races!”

Toot-toot-ta-toot ta-ta-toot-toot ta-toot-ta…

“Adolf?” says Obama.

Toot?

“You don’t have to fart in Martian Morse code with my sock-puppet Jacob Freeze. That’s the point of that idiot! Nobody is listening!”

“I knew that,” says I, and so after a little preliminary fucking around with my soul-mate in Hell Barack Obama, let’s get down to business.

You stupid fucking Yankees thought you won WWII, but while I spent the next 65 years fucking ladyboys in Brazil, did you ever notice…

WHO RULES EUROPE?

Is it your wheezing British allies? Or is it MY ARYAN SUPERMEN in Germany?

Harharharhar!!!

Thanks for D-Day, morons!

Now we own everything, from the beaches in Greece to the bonds in London!

And look at yourselves!

All you had to do to “win” WWII was transform yourselves into a fascist security empire, where you pay for everything and rule nothing!

YOU pay for everything, and rule NOTHING!

No power, no jobs and no dignity! My airport-Nazis grope your woowoos every time you get on a plane!

Harharharhar!!!

You were already the biggest suckers in the history of the world, and then you elected Obama!

Harharharhar!!!