Much as I would love to relay stories of the marvelous horses and family times at the Apocalypse Ranch said Ranch is now entering the foreclosure process. We have already given away the kids toys stocked up for the Easter egg extravaganza and we are entering the survivalist move to God knows where. No sense crying over spilt suburbia I guess.
Want a scary link? A techno-enabled god fuckingly scary one?
It has been a hard yet rewarding saga in my life to care for and often rescue these most noble animals. I have taught them and they have taught me. Watching the vet sew up Moon’s wide open forehead before pulling out the bone fragments or nursing Mater’s chest wound twice a day when Mr. Studly decided to assert his herd dominance thing.
With horses you learn things about yourself and the world at large. In my earlier days with Mr. Stud I did sense he would have no problem simply jumping over that log in the path. At the time I happened to suck at the whole horsemanship thing, ie, surely doubted my survival possibilities at such a proposal and pulled back on the reigns. Yea, he did listen even though he has “taken me for several rides” in his more spirited, hey, it’s a warm spring day rides. Yet I love him. Tags my jacket for a treat and sips beer from my hand. We vie for the lead on the trails. Myself on Mater and my daughter on Studly, Mater sees an open path, I tap him, saying go for it and he pulls ahead. Does wonders for his former show horse ego. He is after all named after that tow truck Mater from that kids movie featuring Lightening McQueen. He has a long stride so it’s only smooth in a full out lope and he will tow stuff with a rope dally without flipping out.
All of these and countless other days of family and extended family bliss are to be wiped out due of course to the Illuminati Plan to Destroy America. I mean to do all the shit I have done with horses 20 miles north of the People’s Republic of Cambridge in the state of Marxachusetts(with profound apologies to those of the lower veils who still subscribe to the falsehoods of left/right political institutions) is just short of a Jesus Christ frigging miracle. We have shit disturbing shitheads up in our neck of the woods who can and do think it is their God appointed purpose in life to get you into an approved, certified can’t do nothing else with your life unit 12 piece of shit condo with granite countertops. Shove the granite counters, the Iphone apps and let me take my grandsons fishing on the river. I mean you drive your cars past me and marvel at the wonderous sight of a grey haired man riding a horse down this modern community street.
Rude awakening all of us are in for. The kids think I should do seminars as I relayed my thoughts on everything from Hopi Indian prophecies to recent experiments with atomic clocks at sea level compared to those placed on airplanes. I ended the discussion with the more positive aspects of the 2012 Doomsday date by citing Ben Rich’s deathbed quote of “We can take ET home” meaning in the lifetime of these kids may they see the Back to the Future flying cars.