Our Friends……

Really. I hear it all the time. Egypt is our friend. Saudi Arabia is our friend. We have a special relationship with Israel.

So, how exactly is it that two Countries share “Friendship?” Do they call and cheer us up when we are having a bad hair peasant day? Do they cover for us when we are cheating on our wives ripping off other Countries? I mean when its gets up to the “special relationship” phase, do we have an “From Here to Eternity” moment in the surf?

Oh, come onnnnn already!

Countries aren’t people, they cannot have friends. So what could these code words possibly MEAN?

It certainly does not mean the people of one Nation care about the People of another Nation.

Governments create relationships without ever asking the people what WE think, hell they try and prevent us from even getting to KNOW each other.

It doesn’t mean that one Politician befriends another Politician, these relationships outlast nearly every elected official that fills the ranks in the duration of said “Friendship.”

I know, its so very complex, it must be so complicated my small plebeian brain cannot possibly comprehend it. Its about Allies, Diane. They are our allies.

Go ahead, explain it to me.

Allies for what, for a common goal? Or is it allies against something else? What is that goal and what are we fighting that wants to stop that goal?

Don’t eeeeeven try and tell me its about “Freedom,” I mean even Bill O’Reilly can’t gag down Glenn Becks version of that: You know, the Sharia people are trying to take our Freedom away, and its a commie plot to enslave the world.  Were it about Freedom, we wouldn’t have supported our “friends” the dictators all over the globe. We gave Mubarak 70 million of our tax dollars. Did we the people ok that, giving a uber-rich dictator our money, and untold amounts of arms to help him keep his own people down?

I see, you want to take the next tactic…. its about preserving Capitalism, because Freedom in your mind is inextricably linked to Capitalism. Yeah, I saw that one coming. I see the indoctrination really does its magic here.

You see, if we grow the food and trade the food, thats one thing, but Capitalism is based on growing it cheap, and charging others MORE for it, so that we get free money for our labors, and our ability to dupe people into thinking our food is worth more than what its worth. If Capitalism means Freedom, it means Freedom to be cheating bastards.

America runs on oil, I know, and we have to protect our Oil Interests in the Middle East. Its COMPLICATED. Really, with our BFF Israel in charge, and our other friends, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Jordan, Kuwait, Pakistan, and Morocco protecting our oil interests, how has that worked out for us so far? I mean, seriously, oil has dropped to 85 bucks a barrel, and we are still paying $3.50 a gallon on average. So, other than the oil dealers in our Country making record profits, what good does that do for America itself again? Oh, wait, that’s the pesky “Freedom” again, for Exxon Mobil to make Record Profits while Americans are freezing to death from lack of heat, and our President Obama has agreed to cut subsidies to the poor for heating.

If I didn’t know better? I would say that this “Friendship” thing transcends Politicians, has nothing whatsoever to do with anything that improves our Citizens lives, I might just think to myself, “Well golly, self, it seems to me that this Friendship thingy is between the rich there, and the rich here, protecting their right to be rich.”

Its a huge leap, I know. Good thing I’m afraid to, like, say THAT out loud.

What about our NAFTA friends? Mexico is way up there on that Friendy-free-trady gig. How’s that working for our, or their security? The borders have never been bloodier, and there are Bars in Guadalajara being attacked by fragmentation grenades, and when the frightened people run out? They are cut down by automatic weapons sold to them by Texans. I’m sure the dozens of Mexicans employed by GM Mexico love their jobs, though my techs said that the factories there were unbelievable – pollution pits, no safety standards, and forced overtime. I’m just as sure all the American workers who lost their jobs to the move of that factory are glad they can finally buy cars cheaper due to the incredibly low pay scales in Mexico. Oh, wait. Cars never got cheaper, either.

Our buddy and pal, Mexico has citizens literally dying to escape; while Americans are flocking there to make their American retirement dollars go oh so very far. You can live like a king in the land of peasants! Forget Florida as “God’s Waiting Room,” Mexico is the new black in retirement for the Affluent. Seems to me Mexico is getting the shitty end of that stick.

Oh, but they are free. There are elections there. Elections where the drug money trickles up and buys the ballot counters, and the police, and the army and the so-called Freedom. Hey, the rich there are the richest in the world by comparison to their own people. They have us beat there. we’re number two! I see, Freedom means huge income disparities. Our rich and their rich like the Friendship just fine. Our people, not so much. We end up resenting one another for what our Governments, propped by the Rich do in our names, and the increasingly bad conditions in which we the Plebes must conduct our lives.

Maybe I’m just not getting it.

Maybe its more about who isn’t our Friends, our enemies out there, the ones trying to subvert our American Freedom. I mean, Iran, who used to be our Friend of Friends is now enemy numero uno. I mean, they are seriously trying to get off the great oily tit, and create Nuclear Energy for their country. When an Oil Man knows its time to quit? Well, wow. That scares the hell out of the other Oil Men trying to sell Oil. And North Korea? Those commies just outright refused to let our rich “invest” in them – read Privatize factories, make the people work for 2 bucks a day, and kick back money to the Elites to make sure no one gets any ideas. I mean, look at how nice South Korea is to the US. Half of our crappy trinkets are made there! Sure North Korea is run by a douchebag, but look at Saudi human rights abuses, and a 30 year reign of terror by our “friend” Mubarak! Kind of like comparing spoiled apples and rotten apples.

And, if nothing else, we have to have allies that will choke out all those South American countries and their rising pink tide! Its not like they have the weaponry, delivery systems or desire to invade us or anything. Its a far more subtle threat. No “Friend” of ours would Nationalize Oil, so that the people shared the profits, instead of say, just the Bush family, or the Koch brothers. The Koch brothers give so much back, you know? They are donating a full 88 million dollars to make sure the next election goes their way. Wait, I’m having trouble here again.

I guess they are enemies of our Rich, not our people. We could get, you know, ideas or something. I mean, Hugo Chavez spent last week making sure every 2nd grader there got a free laptop, and rebuilding homes and giving them to the people wiped out by floods. Only an enemy of ours would not want people to BUY insurance policies that do not cover floods. Look how much FREER our citizens of New Orleans were after Katrina than those Venezuelan flood victims. They got toxic FEMA Trailers full of formaldehyde, but we were nice enough to put warning stickers on them after our Free people started dying. You know, those left we didn’t let die in the Flood, outright.

Governments who put their people before their rich are obviously enemies of the Country.

So. I get it now. The “Country” means the “Rich” and has nothing whatsoever to do with you or me. Wait, it does have to do with you and me. We get the honor of paying our taxes, so that the Koch brothers who are free to capitalize on our Freedom to be poor so they can be rich, can elect Bush brothers to make sure that tax money is sent to their “Friend” countries Rich, while we are told there is no money left for us to have anything that might help us. Kinda like a big payola Ponzi scheme we get to pay and not play.

Well, roll me over in the surf baby and lay a big wet sloppy on me!

That’s what friends are for!