2012 Republican National Convention: Day 3

Madam Zelda!  Madam Zelda!

I don’t think anybody could have predicted that these people…would try to use an airplane as a missile, a hijacked airplane as a missile.

Debt of Honor (1994)

Ah, Condi the Pianist, how predictable.  And by ‘predictable’, I mean completely… um… dictable, I guess.  The point being that I hope all of you are finding this as excruciatingly boring fun and exciting as I am.

Call me when they say something factual.  It will be man bites dog.

Yesterday’s highlights in my estimation were of course the Ron Paul floor fight and Roll Call snub.  I also liked the ‘Parade of White Guys’ from the Afternoon session.  Of the evening program about all I have to say is that Janine Turner as a blonde looks like Julia Duffy and Neil Boyd in that hat looks like Sam Kineson.  Santorum was just creepy with the hands and family values thing and got chosen to deliver the big welfare work waiver lie.  Kelly Ayotte is in fact a poor public speaker and did need a crutch.  Kasich, McDonnell, and Walker are surprisingly bad for supposed heavyweights and established the “Me, me, me” meme (oh, and that Mitt guy too) that Christie epitomized.

I’m told by those who’ve seen more of him that this is the nice Chris.

I don’t have anything bad to say about Ann Romney at all except that her Nancified look was a little obvious.  If any of the men around her were half as good they’d be the nominee and Mitt would be strapped to the outside of his Gulfstream like Rafalca headed for a fun time playing Hot Wheels in his garage.  As it is he’ll have to wait until November.

Tonight’s highlights look to be Ron Paul hour at 7 (at least instructive).  I doubt McSame can come up with anything David Gregory hasn’t already slobbered over.  Jindal will be asking the evil Zionist Occupation Government for more money than he deserves and justifiably absent.  If Mike Huckabee is smart he’ll just play the banjo, but nobody has ever accused him of that.  When he does open his mouth he’ll show you why he’s now a pro instead of a politician, because he’s wacko insane but also that good.  Maybe he’ll jam with Condoleezza who should be hiding underneath her piano.

And then the big show, Ryan himself.

Conservative Humor.

7:00 p.m.

• Convention convenes
• Call to order
• Introduction of Colors by Amputee Veterans of America Support Team (AVAST)
• Pledge of Allegiance by Brigadier General Patrick E. Rea, US Army (Ret.)
• National Anthem sung by Ayla Brown
• Invocation by Ishwar Singh

• Ron Paul Video
• Remarks by Senate Republican Leader and Convention Temporary Chairman Mitch McConnell (KY)
• Remarks by Senator Rand Paul (KY)
• Remarks by Christopher Devlin-Young and Jeanine McDonnell

8:00 p.m.

• Remarks by Senator John McCain (AZ)
• Remarks by Attorney General Pam Bondi (FL) and Attorney General Sam Olens (GA)
• Remarks by Governor Bobby Jindal (LA) (Jindal will not be attending- ek)
• Remarks by Senator John Thune (SD)
• Remarks by Senator Rob Portman (OH)

9:00 p.m.

• Remarks by Governor Luis Fortuño (PR)
• Remarks by Governor Tim Pawlenty (MN)
• Bush 41, 43 Film
• Remarks by Mike Huckabee

10:00 p.m.

• Remarks by Condoleezza Rice
• Remarks by Governor Susana Martinez (NM)
• Remarks by vice presidential nominee Rep. Paul Ryan
• Benediction by Archbishop Demetrios
• Adjournment