Big Rock Candy Mountains

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains, there’s a land that’s fair and bright.

Where the handouts grow on bushes and you sleep out every night.

Where the boxcars all are empty and the sun shines every day

And the birds and the bees and the cigarette trees

The lemonade springs where the bluebird sings

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains.

Bullshit Mountain

Atrios, Eschaton

Thursday, September 20, 2012

I like the inclusion of Craig T. Nelson saying, “I’ve been on food stamps and welfare, did anybody help me out? No.” Because I think that quote really gets to the true core of bullshit mountain. One can never be quite sure how much conservatives believe their own bullshit, but my longstanding theory is that they believe there’s some secret super generous welfare system that only black people have access to. When they had hard times, got their government handouts, their government handouts sucked. But the blahs are out there buying their t-bones and driving their cadillacs, so they must be getting the really good welfare. Nobody helped poor Craig out, because the food stamps and and welfare sucked. They don’t understand that this is because food stamps and welfare do suck.

The punk rolled up his big blue eyes and said to the jocker, “Sandy,

I’ve hiked and hiked and wandered too, but I ain’t seen any candy.

I’ve hiked and hiked till my feet are sore

And I’ll be damned if I hike any more

To be buggered sore like a hobo’s whore

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains.”

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