If you have any sense at all you are already safely ensconced wherever you plan to celebrate and are preparing for riotous self-indulgence to celebrate the schadenfreude passing of a year memorable mostly for the milestones of decline into another dark age.
What is more threatening? Global Thermonuclear War or Warming?
But warming sounds so fuzzy and cute.
Tell it to the Polar Bears, God-less killing machines that they are. At least you used to be able to duck and cover and kiss your ass goodbye while praying to be fortunate among the blast radius so you’d avoid the dystopian barbarism descending as the Anthropocene Epoch comes to a close.
Shall I set you up again?
Anyway, traveling early and leaving late (tomorrow) allows the best chance of avoiding your own personal Mayan Apocalypse on Amateur Night and that’s one reason I’m disappointed in the entertainment offered. Where are my Circuses Caesar?
After the Ball drops your best bets are Zombie Apocalypse (AMC), Mayan Apocalyse (National Geographic), Dr. Who so depressing I didn’t even bother to record it (BBCA), Futurama Rapture (Comedy), Julia Roberts whoring for Mitt Romney (Lifetime), and the Twilight Zone (SciFi).
Oh, and Kathy Griffin (Bravo).
You might want to stay snuggled up until tomorrow when we will be liveblogging The Rose Parade at 11 am.
Happy New Year!