Chronic Tonic-Tired

(2 pm. – promoted by ek hornbeck)

originally published at VOTS

I’m tired. Another rough night with Dan. Last night it was around 2 am. when he came to me crying. I don’t know what he was upset about, I couldn’t get that out of him, (kids on the spectrum are not all that chatty) but he assured me that things would never be okay again.

When these things happen, and they do-up to a couple of times a week, I walk him back to his bed and lay down with him and we start to talk. The fact that these things happen more than once every single week is starting to take a toll not just on him, but on me too. I constantly feel fatigued and I’m starting to need a little help to get myself up in the morning. There are always offers on supplements to help with energy levels, such as offers on gundry md total restore, which are very tempting now I can tell this is going to be a regular occurrence in the household. I want to be able to comfort him at night and be fresh the next day to tackle the day ahead. The nights seem to be the hardest, though. I tell him that he’s okay and that things will be okay, that nothing will hurt him tonight. He’s afraid, so I stay and begin to talk about how soon school will be done, and what a great summer we will have, and I can feel him start to calm.

He asks when it will be sunny, and I tell him that it should be by the end of the week. I ask him if he thinks he could dream about that, but he’s not calm enough yet. We start the slow calming breaths that I taught him, and his eyelids begin to flutter before popping back open. He asks me to hold him. Sometimes he needs to feel all enclosed, no problem, but this could get awkward when you get a bit older, Dan.

He says he wants a rainbow slushie when it gets sunny, and I tell him that it would all mix and be dark, but I could make a sno-ball and do a rainbow on that. This pleases him, he tells me he could dream about that. He is relaxing, I can feel it. I tell him that he’s going to be fine now, dreaming about the sunny days and our pool and how we’ll make rainbow sno-balls and eat them in the sun. He tells me I can go now, he’s okay, and I know he is.

I go back to my room and within five minutes he’s asleep. I am not so lucky. So, today I am tired~