The Daily/Nightly Show (Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio?)

You stop being racist and I’ll stop talking about it.

Unburied

Tonightly- Can Carly Fiorina beat Hillary?  I dunno.  Does Amy Schumer look like Marylin Monroe?  Remember- Marylin was a size 8 and Amy is size 6.  Or is the United States ready for a failed CEO with no government experience and who has never won an election.  Perhaps they all merge into a blonde blur as you masturbate while drinking yourself to sleep with your glasses off.

Susie Essman, Nicolle Wallace, and Holly Walker will be the panel.

Continuity

Your Clown Car

This week’s guests-

Ernest Moniz is the U.S. Secretary of Energy and a Nuclear Physicist.  There are many interesting things he could talk about such as the Universe being a two dimensional field of Space/Time mediated to appear by our perception 3 dimensional.  In short, a hologram.  I prefer 26 dimensional bosonic string theory on the basis that more is better.

What I can almost guarantee he will not be talking about is the recent leaks from the contaminated water tanks at Fukushima.

Interesting factoid- He was the designated survivor during Obama’s 2014 SOTU.

The real news below.

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