The Daily Late Nightly Show (#Flat)

Don’t Forget: Donald Trump Wants To Bang His Daughter

Frank, you’re not funny.

Trevor’s guests-

• Tuesday 3/1: Neal Brennan
• Wednesday 3/2: Chrissy Teigen
• Thursday 3/3: Bill de Blasio

Mr. Continuity

A Plantation Wedding

A Mexican Divorice

And a Baby’s Arm Holding An Apple

What do you want from life?
To kidnap an heiress or threaten her with a knife?

What do you want from life?
To get cable TV and watch it every night?

There you sit, a lump in your chair
Where do you sleep and what do you wear when you’re sleeping?

What do you want from life?
An Indian guru to show you the inner light?

What do you want from life?
A meaningless love affair with a girl that you met tonight?

How can you tell when you’re doing alright?
Does your bank account swell while you’re dreamin’ at night?

How do know when you’re really in love?
Do violins play when you’re touching the one that you’re lovin’? oh

What do you want from life?
What do you want from life?
Someone to love and somebody you can trust?

What do you want from life?
What do you want from life?
To try and be happy while you do the nasty things you must?

What do you want from life?
What do you want from life?
What do you want from life?
What do you want from life?

Well, you can’t have that-
But if you’re an American citizen, you are entitled to
A heated kidney shaped pool, a microwave oven
Don’t watch the food cook
A Dyna-Gym, I’ll personally demonstrate it in the privacy of your own home
A king size Titanic unsinkable Molly Brown water bed with polybendum

A foolproof plan and an airtight alibi
Real simulated Indian jewelry
A Gucci shoetree, a year’s supply of antibiotics
A personally autographed picture of Randy Mantooth
And Bob Dylan’s new unlisted phone number
A beautifully restored 3rd Reich swizzle stick.
Rosemary’s baby!
A dream date in kneepads with Paul Williams.

A new Matador, a new mastodon, a Mavericka a Mustang, a Montego, a Merc Montclaira a Mark IV, a meteor, a Mercedes, an MG, or a Malibu, a Mort Moriarty, a Maserati, a Mac truck, a Mazda, a new Monza, or a moped.

A Winnebago, hell, a herd of Winnebagos.
We’re giving ’em away.
Or how about a McCulloch chainsaw

A Las Vegas wedding, a Mexican divorce
A solid gold Kama Sutra coffee pot
Or a baby’s arm holding an apple!

Larry’s panelists-

• Tuesday 3/1: Malcolm Gladwell
• Wednesday 3/2: Jon Connor, Keke Palmer
• Thursday 3/3: Michael Kenneth Williams

Mr. Mainstream

Sure, why not?

• Tuesday 3/1: Christina Hendricks, Chrissy Teigen, Adam Savage
• Wednesday 3/2: Octavia Spencer, John Stamos, Bob Saget, Dave Coulier, b>Lucius
• Thursday 3/3: Christopher Meloni, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Edward Byers, Ray Lamontagne

Friday is repeat day. Again. Friday is repeat day. Again.

I am… uninspired. #Flat, like Larry.