The Daily Late Nightly Show (Art Is One of Life’s Richest Offerings.)

“Go on from there.”

Mr. Mainstream

Not Gilligan’s Island

Stephen’s last guests this week are-

• Friday 4/29: Mark Feuerstein, Gwen Stefani

Yawn Royal Pains? I haven’t given a damn about the Hamptons since I was forced to read The Great Gatsby in school. You know why teachers assign it? It has an undeserved reputation and is very short for a novel so you have a reasonable expectation that at least a minority of your class will actually read it and can have a discussion, it’s like Old Man and the Sea that way.

You want a real book? Try Miss Lonelyhearts.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts–

I am sixteen years old now and I dont know what to do and would appreciate it if you could tell me what to do. When I was a little girl it was not so bad because I got used to the kids on the block makeing fun of me, but now I would like to have boy friends like the other girls and go out on Saturday nites, but no boy will take me because I was born without a nose–although I am a good dancer and have a nice shape and my father buys me pretty clothes.

I sit and look at myself all day and cry. I have a big hole in the middle of my face that scares people even myself so I cant blame the boys for not wanting to take me out. My mother loves me, but she crys terrible when she looks at me.

What did I do to deserve such a terrible bad fate? Even if I did do some bad things I didnt do any before I was a year old and I was born this way. I asked Papa and he says he doesnt know, but that maybe I did something in the other world before I was born or that maybe I was being punished for his sins. I dont believe that because he is a very nice man. Ought I commit suicide?

Sincerely yours,

Desperate

Now, tell me what’s troubling you.