The Daily Late Nightly Show (Nerd Prom)

So Saturday was Nerd Prom and Larry seemed to be telegraphing he would out-Stephen Stephen. Did he succeed? Here are some reactions-

• Chin up, Larry Wilmore. History might vindicate your speech — like Stephen Colbert’s
• Did Larry Wilmore bomb or slay at the correspondents’ dinner? Yes.
• Larry Wilmore didn’t “bomb”: His Washington performance was precisely what comedy should be — cutting elites down to size

Here’s a transcript.

The Master

His transcript.

My verdict? Larry tried to do Stephen but only some of the right people hated him. That would be the correspondents who as far as I’m concerned are nothing but an overpaid evil bunch of craven suck ups and sycophants, their only skill is reading off a teleprompter and most don’t have the slightest clue about policy or politics, an amoeba wouldn’t find their brains burdensome. None of them would recognize real journalism if it bit them in the ass.

Unfortunately Larry was unwilling to call out the politicians who’s corporate corruption these bootlicking curs serve and who’s traitorous sell out of the public they’re supposed to represent could be called venal if their loyalty weren’t so cheaply bought, many of whom are complicit War Criminals, murderers, and torturers.

Yeah, I’m looking right at you Barack. How’s that for dropping the mic?

Stephen pissed them all off. Game, set, and match.

The Real Deal

Holding Hands is Manly!

The New Guy

Trevor is a terrible Rapper

Trevor’s guests this Week are-

• Monday 5/2: Nikolaj Coster-Waldau
• Tuesday 5/3: Josh King
• Wednesday 5/4: Bethany Cosentino
• Thursday 5/5: The Heavy

Mr. Continuity

Back again at the old Popsicle Stand.

Prep Work

Ol’ Dirty Hastert

Larry’s panelists this Week are-

• Monday 5/2: Riki Lindhome
• Tuesday 5/3: TBA
• Wednesday 5/4: Meghan Markle
• Thursday 5/5: Ken Burns

Mr. Mainstream

Wheel of News

Stephen’s guests this week are-

• Monday 5/2: BillO, Morris Chestnut, Deerhunter
• Tuesday 5/3: Dakota Johnson, Sebastian Stan, Lukas Nelson & Promise of the Real
• Wednesday 5/4: Anthony Mackie, Rob Reiner, Maxwell
• Thursday 5/5: Judge Judy Sheindlin, W. Kamau Bell
• Friday 5/6: Lily Tomlin, Kumail Nanjiani, Ryan Hamilton

Who cares what BillO thinks? Seriously. We’ll circle back.

There’s a new Executive Producer and Showrunner, Chris Licht. His background is News, if you can call CBS This Morning News, which I don’t. He’s supposedly there to take “over some mechanics of the show that Mr. Colbert was insisting on doing himself, so Mr. Colbert can concentrate on being himself.” This specifically includes things like lighting, script approval, and budgets.

Hmmm… He was brought in after CBS Chairman Les Moonves himself twisted Stephen’s arm. They insist it’s not about the ratings which are second only to Jimmy Fallon (who’s an idiot AND plays one on TV).

(A) few months ago when Donald J. Trump announced his plan for “a total and complete” ban on Muslims’ entering the United States after the San Bernardino terrorist attack. I was curious to see what Mr. Colbert would make of it.

I was agog when he opened the show with three lingerie models from a CBS Victoria’s Secret special that was to air the next night, wearing angel’s wings and eating hot wings. Even Mr. Colbert appeared to blanch at what came off as an example of corporate synergy gone awry. Toward the end of the bit Mr. Colbert looked at the camera, noted that “there’s more stuff on the prompter,” said something along the lines of “The heck with it” — but in a way that required bleeping — and cut it short.
…
CBS officials say they didn’t force the Victoria’s Secret tie-in. But it seemed to typify how a big broadcaster will grab what’s special and cool on cable and try pressing it into the advertiser-friendly, safe-for-broad-audiences mold.
…
Mr. Colbert has excelled in interviews with big political gets, like Vice President Joseph Biden and House Speaker Paul Ryan, and people who genuinely interest him, like the energy secretary, Ernest Moniz, who, let’s face it, is not the sort of A-lister television executives want to see on their flagship late-night shows, but is typical of many guests on “The Colbert Report.”

I remember an episode of I Carly where a girl was being pitched a show by her Network Executive Dad that centered around a singing, dancing, polka dotted dinosaur. She told him it was a piece of crap and he asked her what she did watch. “I Carly.”

So they went out and bought I Carly and immediately started changing everything about the show that worked. The Technical Director was reduced to a dog walking, latte getting Go-Fer. They brought in the singing, dancing dinosaur. They distracted Sam, Carly’s co-writer, with a bucket of ribs and wrote her character out.

Then they took away Carly’s script approval.

And ended up with a show that looked exactly like the one that the daughter hated because it was stupid (and it was) which promptly tanked and they sold the rights back to Carly for a dime.

That’s how Network TV actually works, except for that feel good part at the end where she gets her show back. They would have kept the rights and had her sign a non-compete clause that would have prevented her from performing ever again until she died an old, lonely, bitter, and thwarted woman. Sam would have died young, an overdosed junkie, and Freddie in the murder/suicide of his over protective/OCD mother. The End.

Because that’s how TV is folks.

TV is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There’s also a negative side.

That’s why I can’t consider this good news for Stephen. Lighting, maybe. Script Approval? Budgets? Those are the keys to the kingdom baby, Stephen’s act doesn’t need polishing. Victoria’s Secret?! Hot Wings?! Who thought that was a good idea?! Fire them!

He needs a better Booker.

Which brings us back to BillO. He’s an asshole. He’s also boring. He’s not the kind of guest I will watch, I’ll find an I Carly I’ve only seen a million times before (I am exaggerating for effect, but only slightly).

Get Stephen the guests he needs and watch him shine. He’s the best in the business. Screw your dinosaur, people hate him.