Can you pick The Onion without hovering your mouse over the links?
Not much of a challenge really, but if you just looked at the headlines you’d have an easy 50 / 50 shot at being wrong.
SAUGUS, Mass. — The giant orange dinosaur seen by thousands of motorists a day on U.S. Route 1 in Saugus has been saved from extinction.
There was fear that the 20-foot dinosaur would disappear because the miniature golf course on which it has stood since 1958 has been sold to a developer who plans on building apartments, a hotel and retail space at the site. But project partner Michael Barsamian tells The Daily Item of Lynn that he bought the dinosaur and plans on installing the piece of roadside kitsch next to the hotel. He compares the dinosaur to Boston’s Citgo sign.
Diana Fay, whose family owns the mini golf course that closes for good this month, says she had several inquiries about purchasing the dinosaur, and is glad it’s staying close.
POLAND, ME — Underscoring the company’s commitment to preserving the environment, Poland Spring announced Tuesday it had developed a new eco-friendly water bottle that decomposes in just 300 years.
“With our new eco-friendly plastic packaging, your discarded Poland Spring bottle will break down and be reclaimed by the earth in a mere three centuries—that’s almost 200 years faster than the industry standard,” said company spokesperson Dana Rodgers, noting that the change would begin saving space in landfills, reducing ocean waste, and cutting down on toxic chemicals leached into the soil as early as 2316. “You can breathe easy when purchasing refreshing Poland Spring water knowing that you’ll be leaving this world a cleaner, greener place for your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandchildren.”
Officials added that the company was also working on a new smaller and less obstructive bottle cap that would moderately lengthen the amount of time a marine mammal would live after accidentally ingesting it.