On Underwear

Do you think you’ve approached the depths of my Geekdom? We’ve barely scratched the surface, so to speak. You’ll understand, please, that I am a guy and so have no feminine perspective on this at all.

Now the next rap on Rory is that she “goes commando” and to spare you from my Dreyfus Affair confusion I explicitly state that this equates to wearing your outside clothes with no mediation between them and your skin. Some people find this arousing either personally or on display and hey, what floats your boat. There are certainly fashion reasons to avoid what are termed “panty lines” when wearing revealing clothing whether it’s a little black dress or skinny jeans (guys wear those too, shows off your bulges about which more later).

There’s a reason they’re called revealing.

At that how are they more revealing than a Speedo? I spent a decade or so wearing one in a host of others likewise garbed and while I found some attractive (not made of stone here) and others not so much it wasn’t raiment so much as a utilitarian uniform like a grease stained pair of overalls. When you’re eating feet it’s all the same. 50-100-200-400-400-200-100-50, 10 reps for a warm up. At the end all you think about is how much you hate life, try it and see.

To me it’s not a concern and barely noticeable what you wear. I don’t need to be warned that your eyes are up here because I rarely meet them since I have my own personal space issues and usually stare off into the medium distance and listen (this can be disconcerting I realize and when I’m actively politicking I work very hard to avoid it). As for myself my personal appearance hardly matters unless I’m offensively stinky or frightening small children which I only do deliberately and for sport. I never look at myself except to shave and don’t own a mirror.

On the other hand presentation counts for a lot and I campaigned for capo twice as long as I swam. I have a 3 piece suit that I haven’t fit into for many years (though back when I did I wore it to court during a traffic hearing and even the Judge asked, “Aren’t you a lawyer?”) and a Tuxedo (cheaper than real clothes) so I clean up, but normally Luke Danes is a little more GQ than I. I do retain enough vanity that I care about how my clothes hang which is why I almost always wear a T-Shirt under my outside shirt. If you don’t the fabric sticks to your body and doesn’t float over it as it should.

And now the intimate “guy” details. You have… umm… all this “guy” equipment dangling around because of your chromosome defect and I personally feel more comfortable with some support. I imagine gals feel the same about certain parts of their anatomy but I don’t actually know being a guy and all.

Getting back to the “guy” stuff it’s briefs, boxers are cheap and flimsy shorts with a hole you can pee through.

On “going commando” as a philosophy and lifestyle, I understand that some people are happy to consign their clothes to the washing machine or trash bucket after mere minutes. As a low rent Luke, unless it crawls into the laundry of it’s own volition I’m inclined to view it as an investment protected by my underwear which is simple, generic, and I have lots of. These are guidelines, not rules. I’ve made compromises due to circumstance and hope I’ve retained some shreds of dignity. Unlike the reigning Lorelai I instantly understand what Trix meant by “fresh”.

She meant new. I have some put away for when you come to poke me with a stick.

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