I Can’t Drive 55

I’ve done some reprehensible things in the past and I continue unabated to this day. One of the cars I owned while I was living in Syracuse was ‘The Red Rocket’, a maroon Buick Century with a white vinyl top that boasted Positraction and a 454 4 Barrel V-8.

Yeah, it only got like 6 miles per gallon but that puppy could move. In a straight line. One time I was taking an exit off 691 and it was a little slick and I was a little fast and 720 degrees later, pointed the right direction without a scratch mind you but rocking back and forth on my shocks, I decided I ought to petition Richard for a new set of tires since mine were probably flat spotted.

Anyway I had my sister and her boyfriend in the back of the car and we were tooling down Erie Boulevard which for those of you who haven’t had the pleasure is 4 to 6 lane local divided by a single strip of Armco and punctuated by traffic lights.

The speed limit was 55 and the lights were timed for that but I decided it would be an interesting test, since there was no traffic, to see if it applied at 110.

Now all of my experiments are duplicatable, though some you may not want to. I can assure you it works and you can test yourself but I don’t recommend it. My sister, who was used to my whimsy, hardly reacted at all. Her companion grabbed my shoulder and said-

“Dude. Please don’t do that again.”

Fox News Host Jeanine Pirro Gets Ticket for Speeding at 119 M.P.H.
By SARAH MASLIN NIR, The New York Times
NOV. 20, 2017

Jeanine F. Pirro, the high-octane host of a Fox News Channel show, was given a summons on Sunday for driving 119 miles per hour in upstate New York, according to the State Police.

Ms. Pirro, a former Westchester County district attorney who now hosts the Fox News television show “Justice with Judge Jeanine,” said in a statement that she was unaware that she was going nearly double the speed limit of 65 miles an hour.

“I had been driving for hours to visit my ailing 89-year-old mom and didn’t realize how fast I was driving,” she said in the statement through a Fox News spokeswoman. “I believe in the rule of law and I will pay the consequences.”

Ms. Pirro was pulled over at 1:15 p.m. on Route 17 in the town of Nichols, N.Y., in the Southern Tier, about 25 miles east of Elmira, where she grew up and where her mother still lives, according to news reports.

Ms. Pirro, known as much for her conservative views as for the rapid-fire way in which she expresses them, has made reference to her tendency to drive quickly. She said in a 2015 interview with The Hill that her biggest pet peeve was people who “drive slow in the passing lane.”

Only 119? Oh, it is so on. Route 17 for Pinks. I’ll kick your ass.