Cartnoon

Episode IX

It was a dark day on the Intertubz as the Trucks piled up. Evil Jenny Nicholson of the Amazon Order sits on her bed with the giant stuffed Porg and her plush BB-8 with a “Be My Valentine” sash and reads to us from a book that definitely does not rip off Star Wars at all and is just a dumb romance novel of the type my sister, who has a huge Kindle habit, says I should be writing instead of wasting my time on politics.

“As he spoke, sitting beside her, his hand brushed her thigh and she thrilled to the touch, momentarily forgetting the deadly peril they faced. In that instant she knew that they were destined to be together forever and vowed that no danger would prevent their inevitable union, in life and in death.”

C’mon, who does Mary Sue? I do. It’s a thousand pages give or take a few, I’ll be writing more in a week or two. I can make it longer if you like the style or I can change it ’round for you overnight. If I can’t get published I’ll just post it here, but I need a break and I want to be a Paperback Writer.

Paperback Writer.

Oh, and I’ve come in possession (many Bothans died) of the plans for the McGuffin so we can save our people and restore freedom to the Galaxy.

Also some Llamas who seem to have wandered over from that set where they’ve been playing with those Sparrow shipped Coconut Shells and pointy things (to be fair they did finally chase off the Moose infestation).