Triple Crown: The Middle Child

This is the most racist theme song of the Triple Crown-

Maryland, My Maryland

The despot’s heel is on thy shore,
Maryland!
His torch is at thy temple door,
Maryland!
Avenge the patriotic gore
That flecked the streets of Baltimore,
And be the battle queen of yore,
Maryland! My Maryland!

Hark to an exiled son’s appeal,
Maryland!
My mother State! to thee I kneel,
Maryland!
For life and death, for woe and weal,
Thy peerless chivalry reveal,
And gird thy beauteous limbs with steel,
Maryland! My Maryland!

Thou wilt not cower in the dust,
Maryland!
Thy beaming sword shall never rust,
Maryland!
Remember Carroll’s sacred trust,
Remember Howard’s warlike thrust,-
And all thy slumberers with the just,
Maryland! My Maryland!

Come! ’tis the red dawn of the day,
Maryland!
Come with thy panoplied array,
Maryland!
With Ringgold’s spirit for the fray,
With Watson’s blood at Monterey,
With fearless Lowe and dashing May,
Maryland! My Maryland!

Come! for thy shield is bright and strong,
Maryland!
Come! for thy dalliance does thee wrong,
Maryland!
Come to thine own anointed throng,
Stalking with Liberty along,
And chaunt thy dauntless slogan song,
Maryland! My Maryland!

Dear Mother! burst the tyrant’s chain,
Maryland!
Virginia should not call in vain,
Maryland!
She meets her sisters on the plain-
“Sic semper!” ’tis the proud refrain
That baffles minions back amain,
Maryland! My Maryland!

I see the blush upon thy cheek,
Maryland!
For thou wast ever bravely meek,
Maryland!
But lo! there surges forth a shriek,
From hill to hill, from creek to creek-
Potomac calls to Chesapeake,
Maryland! My Maryland!

Thou wilt not yield the Vandal toll,
Maryland!
Thou wilt not crook to his control,
Maryland!
Better the fire upon thee roll,
Better the blade, the shot, the bowl,
Than crucifixion of the soul,
Maryland! My Maryland!

I hear the distant thunder-hum,
Maryland!
The Old Line’s bugle, fife, and drum,
Maryland!
She is not dead, nor deaf, nor dumb-
Huzza! she spurns the Northern scum!
She breathes! she burns! she’ll come! she’ll come!
Maryland! My Maryland!

So, basically an anthem calling for sedition and treason in support of slavery and the violent overthrow of the duly and democratically elected government of the United States (and the assassination of the President).

And… wait for it… it’s the Official State Song of Maryland!

But it’s ok. They don’t sing the racist parts anymore (it’s all racist).

I know horse people. They say that they’re like big dogs you can ride, only smarter. I wouldn’t claim even to be an amateur myself though I have ridden in more than a sad circle around a carny. Thoroughbreds are insane and fragile because of the inbreeding, so in some ways it’s like saddling up Caligula or Akhenaten (or if you prefer Amenhotep IV).

Did I ruin your experience?

The race was now getting a frenzied response as Dust Commander began to make the running.  Bangles and jewels rattled on suntanned, wobbling flesh and even the pillar men in suits were now on tip-toe, creased skin under double-chins stretched to the limit into long furrows that curved down into tight collars.

Mouths opened and closed and veins pulsed in unison as the frenzy reached its climax.  One or two slumped back as their horses failed, but the mass hysteria rose to a final orgasmic shriek, at last bubbling over into whoops of joy, hugging and back slapping.  I turned to face the track again, but it was all over.  That was it.

Expect something boring, short, and futile unless someone puts an eye out. Then it will just be fun (or tragic like Oedipus and Gloucester).

Preakness Trivia

  • Actually 2 years older than the Kentucky Derby.
  • Shortest in distance (1/16th shorter than the Derby).
  • Only the Derby has a larger attendance.

There have been 37 winners of both the Kentucky Derby and Preakness Stakes including the 13 Triple Crown winners.

Preakness Traditions

Winners don’t get the real Woodlawn Cup, which is rumored to be the most valuable in Sports, to keep but a half size replica (oh, and the Woodlawn Racing Club is defunct).  Black Eyed Susans don’t bloom until 2 months after the Preakness.  No Black Eyed Susan has ever been used, currently it’s painted Chysthanthemums.  The Old Clubhouse was destroyed in a fire in 1966.  They paint the winner’s racing silks on the weathervane.  No one on the internet knows why it’s called the Alibi Breakfast.

Official Website

I need a drink-

Black Eyed Susan Recipe
(Official, but without the brand names)

Ingredients:

  • 1 1/4 oz. Bourbon (20% of Early Times is aged in used barrels)
  • 3/4 oz. Vodka
  • 3 oz. Sweet and Sour Mix
  • 2 oz. Orange Juice

Preparation:

Fill a highball glass with shaved ice, add the liquors first, then top off with orange juice and sweet and sour mix. Stir and garnish with an orange slice, cherry, and stirrer.

It is impossible to talk about the Preakness this year without mentioning the 2 major controversies. The first and most easily disposed of is the fouling at the finish of the Kentucky Derby. Clearly Maximum Security violated some arcane rule about shutting down racing lines during the stretch and it’s easy to see why that can create a dangerous situation because horses don’t crash very gracefully. On the other hand it’s very difficult to distinguish that from mere hard racing. My advice is to hire some veteran refs from the NHL who can distinguish between a Legal and an Illegal Check (NFL refs being clearly hopeless for the task).

The other thing you can’t escape so easily are the deaths-

A horse died at Santa Anita on the same day another died at Pimlico
By Jacob Bogage, Washington Post
May 18, 2019

As horse racing reels from the shocking death of a horse on Friday at Baltimore’s Pimlico Race Course that marred the weekend of the Preakness Stakes, another horse was killed training across the country at historic Santa Anita Park, thrusting the sport further into controversy during its most important period of the season.

Commander Coil, an unraced 3-year-old gelding, broke down of a shoulder injury during a routine gallop in training hours at the California racetrack. He is the 24th horse to die there since Dec. 26, and track executives still have yet to identify the underlying cause of the fatalities. One executive called the issues “multi-factorial,” but soil experts have not discovered anything unusual at the 84 year-old facility.

California Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D) has called for the state’s horse racing commission to halt racing until four full-time investigators conclude their work studying the horses’ deaths, and state legislators have pledged to hold hearings on the state of the track.

Officials halted racing there in March after 21 equine deaths in a three-month span, but another horse, 3-year-old filly Princess Lili B, was killed after breaking both legs at the conclusion of a timed workout the day after the track reopened. Two weeks later, 5-year-old gelding Arms Runner, broke down during a fall on the turf course.

Before Commander Coil’s death, Santa Anita had gone six weeks without a horse fatality.

The same day, Congrats Gal, a 3-year-old filly, collapsed of what veterinarians suspect to be a heart attack after the Miss Preakness Stakes at Pimlico.

“The sickening collapse and sudden death of Congrats Gal at Pimlico are proof that the Maryland racing industry has not done enough to protect horses,” Kathy Guillermo, senior vice president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, said in a statement. “ . . . We will be contacting the district attorney’s office, as we did in California, where the D.A. has appointed a task force to investigate training and veterinary practices.”

This happened just yesterday, Friday, less than 24 hours ago. The Stronach Group that owns Santa Anita also owns Pimlico Race Course.

No Triple Crown this year. Maximum Security will not be racing, nor will Country House. In the field only 5 of the 13 horses participated in the Derby. Joe Drape likes Anothertwistafate, Owendale, and Signalman. Melissa Hoppert picks War of Will, Bourbon War, and Improbable.

At least we won’t have to spend hours talking about idiotic hats. Post Time is around 6:48 pm ET on NBC.

7 comments

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  1. Riders Up

  2. Call to the Post

  3. Your racist anthem

  4. Post Parade

  5. Into the gate.

  6. They’re off!

  7. War of Will
    Everfast
    Owendale

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