Look- Texting and “The Internet” are not the same except for the underlying technology being digital. You can have one without the other. It’s like boats and farms, they both use water. Ask me about my Winnowing Fan because I’m tired of carrying it and want to build a Temple to Poseidon, God of Horses.

Ehh… too hard, many Western Civ references. Cute fuzzy animals, that’s the ticket.

Come to think of it Bars use water too. Scotch. Rocks. Don’t lose the bottle.

Actually I’m just the type you want to meet- too old to care and only looking for flickering sports distraction and highly alcoholic beverages, though sociable enough if provoked. I like to think I give off this Leaving Las Vegas, Lost in Translation vibe that’s not at all creepy unless you actually are Scarlett Johansson and I ask you to autograph my body with a Sharpie so I can go to the tat parlor across the street and get it permanently inked.

Nothing weird about that at all.