I am the crossbow cannibal. My name is Uniqlo.

Uniqlo founder Tadashi Yanai, above, is worth over $9 billion.

From New York Magazine…

Every day, at every Uniqlo worldwide, customer advisers repeat what are known as “the six standard phrases,” which they are expected to use while on the floor.

The first and third “standard phrases” are…

“Hello, my name is Uniqlo, how are you today?”

“Let me know if you need anything. My name is Uniqlo.“

Every office at Uniqlo displays the same poster.

ALWAYS FOLLOW COMPANY DIRECTION.

DO NOT WORK IN YOUR OWN WAY.

And from the New York Times…

A memorial for the three women Stephen Griffiths is accused of killing outside his home in Bradford, England.

In a grisly case that British newspapers have compared to the Yorkshire Ripper murders of the 1970s, the police on Thursday charged a 40-year-old man pursuing a Ph.D. in 19th-century homicides with the murders of three women identified by the police as prostitutes.

One victim was caught on closed-circuit television last week being killed with a crossbow shot to the head before her dismembered body was dumped in a nearby river.

At his arraignment, Mr. Griffiths replied to the standard questions…

What is your name?

I am the crossbow cannibal.

What is your address?

Here, I guess.