Will there be sex involved?

( – promoted by buhdydharma )

I mean, that’s really the only question worth asking anymore.

I get the emails every day, they are asking to see me, for my signature, my money, my attention.

I figure the only way I would waste an hour of my life on them is if there was gonna be a really good orgasm involved. Why else would I waste my time with any of them anymore? God knows, I’m not speaking to them.

They have abandoned me on every principle, every promise, and now their leader is flat out raging at me in public. Trust me, it won’t be make up sex. I’ll get mine and be gone without a backward glance.

But I am good enough to change their political persuasion. Maybe I can remind them that “suck” should only refer to a thing of beauty, not the economy. Or that getting boned doesn’t mean at the unemployment office. Or that the only decent “control” is good muscle control. Or that talking dirty shouldn’t mean our water and air. Or that true power is more in giving than receiving.

Or not.

So, inbox full of pleas from limp-dicked faux-leftists, the only way you will get a minute of my time anymore is if there will be actual sex involved.

Because you have been fucking me so long, I figure its time I got at least something out of it…

So from now on, every email campaign I get? I will reply, “Will there be sex involved?”

Signed,

Your constituent.