When I was growing up my Dad was in the Air Force; we moved around… a Lot. Most holidays it was just us, no extended family. I guess in some way to make up for this perceived lack, Mama and Daddy always had ‘orphans’ for the holidays: cadets who couldn’t get home, officers just posted to the base whose family hadn’t yet arrived, young wives whose husbands were overseas and later stranded college kids my sibs brought home.
Mama always put on quite the feast…we weren’t allowed anywhere near the kitchen for several days before each holiday. It became a running joke. “She’s doing this on purpose, you know” Dad would stage whisper several times, “She’s starving us so our appetites will be immense & we’ll declare whatever slop she dishes out as food of the gods.”
And oh, what a heavenly feast it was! Starting with the appetizers in the living room olives, both black and green(stuffed with pimento to suck out & just the right size to wear on fingers), pnuts honeyed and spanish, cashews, crackers and cheese, several kinds of pickles….and drinks, wine for the adults and fruit punch with little chunks of fruit for the kids.
Then the table…with the Special Table Cloth alternating squares of heavily embroidered white on white and finely woven lace, nicely starched and laid with the holiday china pure white, elegant in its simplicity; and the silver and crystal … and groaning under the weight of the Rockwellian feast: a large turkey with giblet stuffing & gravy, ham covered in pineapple rings with a clove/cinnamon/brown sugar glaze; large bowls filled with vegetables: mashed potatoes, candied yams w/marshmallows, peas w/ onions, corn, french green bean casserole, broccoli casserole, macaroni & cheese, cranberry sauce and jelly, heaps of crescent rolls…
And on the sideboard awaiting the winding down, loosen your belt time-the Deserts: pecan pie, apple pie, pumpkin pie, and devils food cake with buttercream frosting … ice cream & whipped cream for those who wanted it…coffee for everyone & brandy for the adults.
And she did it all herself…from scratch.
She’d looked so happy watching everyone eat… but utterly exhausted. To the point where she didn’t get to really enjoy the company and she’d collapse after everyone left. Just to reproduce in real time someone else’s idea of a perfect Thanksgiving. I thought (& still do) that’s ridiculous!
Now, don’t get me wrong- I love tradition… but not just for traditions sake. So the thing I kept from my growing-up Thanksgiving was the orphans. The first year we were married the closest family at Thanksgiving was MrD’s Aunt Lillian & Uncle Tom. They had a seafood business which translated to seafood on the table. They did have a small turkey & all the trimmings, but there were many traditional items with a new nautical nature- oyster stuffing(!) And many new things I loved at first bite. I realized later that was a lean year at Uncle Tom’s, most years have only two seafood dishes, after all seafood is not special when you eat it daily.
We decided after that, since neither of us truly enjoy turkey, we wouldn’t have it. Its our tradition (& I really think those Indians did too) to have a Seafood Extravaganza! I figure if I’m going to all the time, trouble, and expense of putting on a big, three course dinner, it’s going to be something I truly enjoy- seafood. We have only things that we like and the menu varies a bit from year to year depending on availability. Here’s how it goes at my house…
The day before is spent on making salads and dessert. Salads are homemade potato salad, fruit mess, and shrimp salad. All of these are made ahead, cause they taste better the next day. Of course extra is factored in ahead of time, to account for all the surreptitious ‘tasting’ that goes on. Dessert is my nod toward tradition … we call it ‘sand and seafoam’- alternating layers of pumpkin mousse and a cream cheese/brown sugar/sour cream blend served in tall beer glasses… you must eat it in two sessions it’s so rich!
On t-day the rest is assembled. Everyone helps to prepare the meal and the work usually winds up being done in the living room, everyone surrounded by bags and bowls. Any ‘orphans’ are given something to do & instructions…everybody pitches in. And of course music is on! And everyone chit-chats, so it goes quickly & its nice to have extended time catching up with everyone. I’m hoping my son & his wife will again make sushi for our midmorning snack this year. (yumm)
We start in the morning fixing broccoli casserole and creamed corn… but mostly it’s all about the seafood- along with that shrimp salad served in avocado halves, we have oyster pie and scallop pie, steamed crab legs, baked crabstuffed flounder, oranged orange roughy, and crab cakes in pastry. The only truly traditional thing we have is canned cranberry jelly, and thats only if I remember to put it on the list. (my daughter says I always say I’m going to get cranberry jelly, but never do-lol) As each thing is cooked it goes on the counter, covered in tin foil.
When everything is done we change clothes, get freshened up, have a glass of wine. Then I cook what we eat for starters: oyster stew with those little puffy saltines. Everyone goes to sit in the dining room, the table has been set with Mama’s second best cloth, the one with colourful embroidery (but I have been known to use a clean sheet), the ‘Sunday’ china and recently inherited silver. I serve the oyster stew and then the thing we do at my house instead of a blessing (I mean, which god do you pray to?) is everyone says what they’re thankful for this year while they have their stew. Its been quite an experience hearing different takes on that, especially the changes as my children grew.
When you finish you pick up your plate & stew bowl, take your bowl to the sink & fill up your plate from all the dishes on the counter. MrD puts on Alice’s Restaurant and the feasting really begins. My son brings the bowl of crab legs to the table, as this and dessert is all he’ll eat at this seating. I’m having several ‘widows & orphans’ again this year… For the first time in many years it will be just the family. it makes for I’ll miss the lively conversation when you gather 6 or 8 people with no where to go on holidays!
For me, it’s all about the time spent with the people I love, enjoying being together. We could be making pancakes & it’d be cool with me…the kids could call on Thursday morning saying they’ll be late & O mom, BTW I’m bringing 6 extra people & it’d be fine… hell, I’ve had ‘regular orphans’ show up with extra people- it’s not a problem! We eat when it’s all ready and serve whoever shows up. We really enjoy our untraditional Thanksgiving, it has become our tradition, and for some of our ‘orphans’ too!
I recently saw some show on TV about Thanksgiving and its ‘traditions’ in this nation of immigrants. Meteor Blades recently mentioned this also. Different families from varying ethnicities were visited, film was shot of many, many Thanksgiving tables. What struck me was how in many homes favorite ethnic ‘feast’ dishes were prepared and a turkey.
Black beans & rice, platanos, and a turkey.
Three-day-to-prepare marinera, pasta bird nests, garlic bread, stuffed grape leaves, and a turkey.
Egg drop soup, Lo Mein, eggrolls, and a turkey.
All the varied cultures and peoples of our country, united over food.
I think turkey or no turkey, pilgrims, indians, or whatever way you & your ancestors came here…Thanksgiving is a good day to unite over food…to pause and reflect…take stock of the little things…to be thankful of all we have…and tell others how much we appreciate them.
So tell me about your Ideal Thanksgiving…maybe not the one you go to, or even the one you had growing up… but what does your dream thanksgiving consist of?
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do i need to resize these photos??
I’m going next year.
this may a little strange (duh), but I think the best Thanksgiving I ever had was my first year of grad. school at the University of Georgia. I had finally gotten out of the bad, I’ll call it ‘karma’, that was rotting me at home in Ohio. There was a prof., still one of my favorite people, who took in the orphans. (I was an orphan because there was no way in hell I was going back for Thanksgiving). There were a couple other first year student too. It was great being surrounded by these people I hardly knew, but had bonded with over that one evening.
good job RiaDahlink.
and an orange cream soda
heh
all over again… and this after a huge feast and a lovely game of Scrabble. Home again with my share of the goodies, I will have to raid the fridge after reading about your wonderful tradition and great photos.
My ideal Thanksgiving would be all the people I’ve loved and cared about throughout my life bringing food, musical instruments, poetry… whatever! to share after the pot luck feast. Everyone brings their favorite food. After the meal we all make music, recite poetry and tell stories – lots of dancing, laughter, hugs and love.
::sigh:: but for now, I give thanks for the day as it was. My brother was sober, my mother wasn’t depressed and dad was civil. My daughter wasn’t there, she was celebrating elsewhere…which was fine because she’s so angry most of the time. oops, shouldn’t have said that. But there it is.
Happy Thanksgiving to all!
stuf
fing!
were when I lived with a bunch of hippies in Oregon. We’d gather greens and other veggies from the gardens, start cooking at the biggest house on the land with coffee and brandy in the morning and more and more people would come by bringing their ingredients and favorite stuffs and musical instruments.
By noon most of us were fairly trashed, so we’d take a siesta and let the next shift take over. By early evening there was a massive feast and there’d be maybe 75 people feeding potluck style. There’d be the traditional fixin’s, turkey and such, but also fresh tuna and halibut from local fishermen friends. A local farmer would bring some fresh lamb for roasting on kabobs. People of all ages from places up to 100 miles away would come for the festivity.
After eating the music would begin and we’d play until sun up. Inevitably there’d be the all night poker games for the non musically inclined, and games of basketball in the court up at the barn.
Those gatherings were true assembleges of some kind of motley tribe, and though most of us have since dispersed, those gatherings still take place, the elders now grandparents, the kids now parents.
Looks and sounds like you had a similar kind of tradition, Ria. Thanks for sharing your traditions with us here…. and again, happy thanksgiving to all.
today was one of my favorite Thanksgivings.
My family live down south and are of the wingnut kool-aid drinking variety. My brother (better known as the “black sheep” of the family) and I headed up north to escape and became damn yankees.
Today he, his wife, and my neice (who is home for the holidays from her first year at NYU) had a wonderful day together with a coupla orphans who are friends of theirs – great folks.
A few years ago, my mom and dad came up here for Thanksgiving. Over the course of the weekend, my mother announced that they were going to make coming up here a tradition for this holiday. I kept my respone to myself, but wanted to say something to the effect of:
I don’t remember an invitation being issued.
So it was real nice spending the day with sane people – relaxing and fun.
Oh, and the turtle pumpkin pie that was my contribution was a hit!
…in the lonely days, I gave up having much for T-day…except for some pumpkin pie and stove-top stuffing. Maybe a slice of ham would be added to that…and maybe some corn.
For a lonely person, there is not much point. A couple of times I went to the Ramada Inn…the only restaurant in town which was open…and be one of the ten or so people, each sitting alone to eat their badly prepared traditional feast.
Every other restaurant in town had a sign on the door:
Those of us with no families and no friends were non-people, pushed to the side so that we could be easily forgotten.
sounds good to me. You cooked up a nice WITR too RiaD.
I’ve never liked turkey. My ideal Thanksgiving dinner would include a pizza. Last year on Thanksgiving our plans to go out fell through at the last minute. So I stayed home and made my specialty, stuffed pizza – instead of stuffed turkey.
I liked the food pics so I wanted to share one of my own. I’m crazy about pizza.
My cat is patiently waiting for his slice.
stuffed spinach (left) & thin crust sausage (right)
I enjoyed it thoroughly…
Today was my first ‘non traditional’ Thanksgiving, as well…
My first Thanksgiving spent alone and in a new city, but I spent half of the day on the phone and the other half watching football and wandering around my favorite places on the internet…so I didn’t even really notice that. Won’t be alone much longer though, because I’m great…and I’m starting to settle in nicely out here.
Oh! And my second Thanksgiving as a vegetarian, but last year was just a typical Thanksgiving meal with family minus the turkey. This year I got all creative and kinda, sorta made too many things! But I’ve got leftovers now, so it’s cool…
Had myself a ’30 mile meal’…everything came from the Portland Farmers Market during the last week or from my grocery store that focuses on local products…except for the olive oil used for roasting…
Roasted squash (Sweet Dumpling and Delicata), Oregon Wild Rice Pilaf, roasted Russian Banana Fingerling potatoes with garlic, roasted brussels sprouts and a whole lotta roasted hazelnuts….
And of course, beer. Lots of beer. Bridgeport IPA and Pyramid Apricot Weizen…
🙂
Damn, I stuffed myself silly only a couple of hours ago…but now I’m getting hungry again, heh…
Looking forward to breakfast tomorrow! An egg, tomato and gorgonzola cheese omelet sounds just about right…
Coffee! Definitely need some of that too, yeah….
…………………
Now that I think about it, today was pretty much my dream Thanksgiving, minus the company of course. Here’s to hoping I complete it, and have a really perfect one next year.
🙂
I hope youze all enjoyed yours…
smashing Thanksgiving dahling… loved the food, ambience, and company
{ { { RiaD } } }
night, without saying good-bye, but I got a call from an old friend and had to go. Anyway, you’ve got my vote for hostess with the mostest! That was so much fun, plus we’ve got next year all planned — well, at least in our dreams. See you Saturday, for the next chapter!