Press Conference: A Poem

I Unfortunately Practiced Some Punditry in the Past

by George W. Bush

___________________

I’m feeling

pretty spirited

pretty good about

life

___________________

They got off

the plane

I didn’t

get to get

off

the plane.

And it

was tough,

it was a tough experience.

And, well, look,

I’m not dissing Candy

I said,

“my friend.”

____________________

We

know they had a

program

We know the program is

halted

___________________

David,

I don’t want to contradict

an august

reporter

such as yourself

but I was

made

aware of the NIE last week.

___________________

And so,

kind of Psychology

101

ain’t working. It’s

just not

working.

___________________

Are you saying

at no point

while the rhetoric was escalating,

as “World War

III”

was making

it into conversation, at

no point nobody

from your intelligence

team

or your administration was saying,

maybe you want to back it down

a little bit?

No, no

body

ever told me

that.  

___________________

I understand the

issues

I clearly

see

the

problems

___________________

I don’t particularly

like when

people read out my phone

calls with them.

Sometimes

the words get

mischaracterized

Sometimes what I say

might not be

exact —

what they say I said might not be

exactly what

I said.

___________________

I’m feeling pretty spirited

pretty good about life

___________________

I like

campaigning.

___________________

I got a respiratory infection

so did half

the press corps.

___________________

the most disappointing

thing about

Washington has been the name-calling

and this kind of

a —

people go out in front of mics

and they just

kind

of unleash

___________________

if Iran shows up with a nuclear weapon at some point in time, the world is going to say, what happened to them in 2007? How come they couldn’t see the impending danger? What caused them not to understand that a country that once had a weapons program could reconstitute the weapons program? How come they couldn’t see that the important first step in developing a weapon is the capacity to be able to enrich uranium? How come they didn’t know that with that capacity, that knowledge could be passed on to a covert program? What blinded them to the realities of the world? And it’s not going to happen on my watch, Mark.

___________________

they

just

kind

of

unleash

___________________

I was

made

aware of the NIE last week.

___________________

kind of

Psychology 101 ain’t

working

it’s

just not working

___________________

Look,

Iran was

dangerous, Iran is dangerous,

and Iran

will

be

dangerous

___________________

No, no

body

ever told me

that.  

___________________

Wolf, the next three months

you and your

august colleagues are trying to get me to be

Pundit-in-Chief

and I

unfortunately

practiced some punditry in the

past

___________________

I was made

aware

of the N

I

E last week.

___________________

I’m feeling pretty

spirited

pretty good about

life

___________________

We know the program is

halted.

___________________

The danger

is,

is that

they can

enrich,

play

like they

got a civilian

program —

or have a civilian

program,

or claim it’s a civilian

program

— and pass the

knowledge to a covert

military

program. And then

the danger is, is at some point in the

future,

they show

up with a

weapon.

___________________

I’m having such a

good time, I forgot

what

passed.

___________________

kind of

Psychology 101 ain’t

working

___________________

play

like they

got a civilian

program —

or have a civilian

program

___________________

I

unfortunately

practiced some punditry in the

past

___________________

it’s not going to

happen

on my watch,

Mark.