We are all muggles

(2 pm. – promoted by ek hornbeck)

  I was reading about the latest, major scandal in the global financial world, when it suddenly occured to me that I’m a muggle.

 Who are the wizards? Why the major banks, of course.

Allow me to explain below.

  For those of you who aren’t nerds, or haven’t watched the Harry Potter movies, muggles are non-magical people.

  While wizards are these really cool, powerful beings that live exciting lives that us muggles can only dream of.

  The muggles of the world are too talentless, or too incapable, or simply too stupid to realize that another world exists. Thus muggles are at the mercy of any wizard that “goes bad”. Those wizards view muggles as nothing but prey, like a vampire might.

 The “masters of the universe” that run Wall Street look at things in similar terms.

 For starters, wizards can create something out of nothing, simply by chanting a magic phrase and commanding it into being.

  Well, bankers have been doing that for centuries. It’s no secret that they create money from nothing. That’s part of doing business.

 Wizards are also capable of replicating real things by using magic spells.

So can bankers.

With collateral being re-hypothecated to a factor of four (according to IMF estimates), the actual capital backing banks re-hypothecation transactions may be as little as 25%. This churning of collateral means that re-hypothecation transactions have been creating enormous amounts of liquidity, much of which has no real asset backing.

 The wizards at Hogwarts have nothing on the masters of the universe in Wall Street and London.

 Sometimes these all-powerful beings “go bad” and become Death Eaters. They prey on muggles, who are completely incapable of defending themselves.

  Sort of like the bankers on Wall Street today.

 The only people who can protect muggles are “good wizards”. Without “good wizards” the world of muggles is doomed.

  And what do you know? That’s EXACTLY what is happening today.

 To defend ourselves from Death Eaters, the “good wizards” have taken over our Treasury Department, and as the war between good and bad wizards have expanded, they’ve taken over the government’s of Europe too.

  All in the name of saving us poor, helpless, stupid muggles.

  After all, who better to defend ourselves from bankers gone bad, but other bankers, right? We are talking wizards here, and muggles can’t grasp the complexities of the wizarding world.

  For instance, if a muggle tried to pledge the same collateral four times over, and borrow against it, he would be breaking the law and go to jail.

  But wizards/bankers can do it legally and with impunity, because they know magic. They can take something that is trash and turn it into something with a AAA-rating just by willing it to being.

 If a muggle created money out of nothing he would go to jail. But wizards do it all the time. It’s no big deal.

 So you see, it’s not like the masters of the universe on Wall Street are fraudsters that get away with stuff that would be blatently illegal for you and me because they’ve corrupted our political and legal system.

  Nope. It’s because they are wizards from Hogwarts. They have magical powers that our tiny minds cannot grasp. We are helpless and dependent upon them. That’s why they are running our governments.

  So instead of protesting them, we should be thanking them from saving us from the Death Eaters and doing God’s work.

  Much like the peasants of the middle ages had to accept the rule of lords and kings, because it had always been that way, we must tolerate the rule of Wall Street wizards – because they know the arts of wizardry that we could never understand. It’s just the way it is and we must accept it.

  And those of you who think that their “magic” is all a fraud and fiction, that the bankers need to be thrown in jail, the major banks broken up, and the entire system reformed from the ground up, well, you just don’t understand “magic”.