Thanks–And Wish Me Luck

First of all, I want to thank everyone who read “I Hate Writing About Myself….” and provided their stories, helpful advice, and kind words. This sort of thing is what I like about Docudharma. If you were all here, I’d give you all big hugs!

As a follow-up, yesterday was something of a rough day–because I knew after having read many of the comments I needed to see a doctor and get started on meds in spite of my reluctance due to the cost….

But I felt overwhelmed. Because I live in a city of about 115,000, which means I’d have had to time-consumingly search through the Yellow Pages for a doctor and keep calling until I could find one where I’d be able to get an appointment–which seemed a daunting task….

Then I was visiting one of my other favorite sites, depressiontribe, and found out that one of my friends on the site, one with whom I’d felt “in the same boat” because she’d been like me–having depression and bipolar but not receiving treatment due to lack of insurance–had gone to a free clinic and been able to get Cymbalta. She said she was experiencing side effects like drowsiness and nausea, but that the pain in her back was gone and she otherwise felt much better.

I should have felt ecstatic for her, but instead her happy news made me cry–because I just didn’t know where to turn. I envied her access to a free clinic and being able to get Cymbalta.

But then I had an idea. Because I’d already been planning on stopping at Kroger on the way home, I wondered about the medical clinic that’s next door to the store. So I first stopped at the clinic on the way home–but I don’t know what got into me then even with what I was going through(cold feet, maybe?) because I didn’t make an appointment right then and there. At the end of the day (literally–not the annoying cliche’–they were about to close) all I’d found out was that they charge based on income. But when I was at home I had the fact that I hadn’t made the appointment on my mind all night, which made it hard to sleep.

So first thing this morning, I took the bus back to that clinic. Now I’ve an appointment for 1:00 PM on Friday, Feb. 29. I was told that it would cost $20–which, while not as good as free, isn’t too painful. So wish me luck! I’m already feeling a bit better (as in hopeful.)

There’s something else I’ve been wondering about. I’m worried about the off-chance that I may not be able to get the meds I need for my depression/bipolar from the clinic–or because of the way I’ve been feeling decide that I need to start taking something before my appointment because I’ve a two-week wait.

I’ve heard about people taking St. John’s Wort–which is available over the counter–for depression. How well does it work, and does it have any side-effects? I figure that once I’m prescribed something, I’ll have to quit the St. John’s Wort–but how long does it stay in your system? And most importantly, how does it affect bipolar?