Dogs***t.. Horse*hi*.. Bulls*i*.. Bush*h*t

cross posted from Sancho Press. http://sanchopress.com/frontPa…

Horseshit, Bullshit and Bushshit are below the fold. Please provide tips so I know if anybody is reading this shit. Your contributions to any category for inclusion in future editions are encouraged. They can be submitted by using the email on my profile. Thanks.

DOGSHIT

“I am humiliated having to share my futon with this f***ing cat!”





(click to enlarge photo)

HORSESHIT

SECRETARIAT

It is probably clear that I love and respect race horses. I respect and admire Secretariat more than any other. Below is an explanation of the origins of my affection for these animals. It is probably too long and maybe boring, but, oh well.

When I was a teenager, from 1972 to 1976, my dad owned a stable of 8 to 15 Thoroughbred race horses. My uncle trained them. From 1972 to 1976 I worked for my uncle in the summers as a “groom.” In 1976 (my senior year of H.S) I worked in the morning before school and went back for “afternoon feed” and the races. In 1976 due to many circumstances my dad lost all of his stable and we had a falling out with my uncle. From spring 76 to fall 78 (when I entered the Air Force) I worked full time at the race track for other trainers.

My love of horses. My history at the race track. My awe of these amazing and beautiful beasts. These are the reasons I have the “Horseshit” section in this piece. I could talk horse racing, the race track and horses for hours. I used to do so with my dad who passed 12/99. A thourghbred race horse is a marvel of nature. Their grace, strength, physical perfection and remarkable inner drive to run as fast as they can even to their own detriment astounds me. I wish every person could experience spending some time around a fit and “race ready” thoroughbred. IMHO, you would never doubt that there has to be a higher power that created such a creature. IMHO, they are only one of millions of nature’s marvels that confirm a great spirit.

I was fortunate as a teenager to be at numerous major sporting events only due to my dad’s business connections.

– The final game of the 1969 “Miracle Mets” world series victory.

– The 2nd Ali/Frazier fight at “The Garden.”

– A ball boy for six Oakland Raiders games to include the Raiders 1975 AFC Championship loss to Pittsburgh at a frigid Three Rivers Stadium.

As Chicago City Sales Manager for a major trucking company I had access to tickets to ANY sporting event in the Chicago area for customer entertainment. When I lived in Chicago the Bulls and the Blackhawks still played in the famous “Old Chicago Stadium.” It was an amazing and one of a kind place. I wish they had not torn it down and changed venues. I was at the new stadium and it didn’t compare.

– I was at “The” stadium for many Michael Jordan games.

– I was at “The” stadium for many Blackhawks games.

– I was at the famous Soldier Field for several games of the 1985, Super Bowl Champion, Chicago Bears. Ditka, Payton, McMahon, Singletary, “The Fridge”, Dent, Gault, Hampton. The “Super Bowl Shuffle.” I was at Soldiers Field for “The Fog Bowl.”

– I was at many Cubs games at the remarkable Wrigely Field and White Sox games too.  

– I went to four Indianapolis 500’s from 92-95.

– I was at the first Nascar race at the Indianapolis Speedway in 1994, The Brickyard 400.

I have been fortunate, lucky and blessed all my life. All these good things and many, many more on top of the four times I should have died by all normal standards. Maybe I am a cat and I have five lives left. I would prefer not to test that theory.

Of all the huge sporting events I was lucky enough to be a part of, in my heart, they all pale in comparison to being at Belmont Racetrack with my dad, in 1973, when Secretariat won the Belmont Stakes by 31 lengths. Secretariat was the first “Triple Crown” winner in 25 years. Below is a recap of Secretariats life (I did not write it). As noted, Secretariat STILL holds the “track record” for the Kentucky Derby and the Belmont Stakes. There have been two more Triple Crown winners since Secretariat. As great as they both were, they could not break his record at ANY of the three events. In 125 years only 11 horses have won “The Triple Crown” and none since 1978.

In the 1973 Preakness, there was a dispute about the tracks official clock. It had a time slower than others “clocked” Secretariats run. Several track officials had a faster time, as did numerous track “clockers”. The tapes of the race verify Secretariat indeed holds that track record. The official track clock MUST have been “off.” In spite of this, the management of Pimilico Race Track, where the Preakness is held, will not grant Secretariat his just dues.

IMHO, Secretariat is the greatest race horse that ever stepped his hoofs on a race track. I am honored to have seen this magnificent creature in person.

SECRETARIAT

Secretariat was born on March 30, 1970 in Virginia, son of Bold Ruler out of Somethingroyal. The big chestnut would race for two years winning 16 of 21 starts and $1.3 million dollars. Ridden by Ron Turcotte, owned by Meadow Stable and trained by Lucien Lauren. Secretariat would become America’s horse, creating memories and history as he flew.

In 1972 Secretariat won two year-old colt of the year. Even greater things were to come in 1973, winning both the Triple Crown and horse of the year. In the first leg of the Triple Crown Secretariat would win the Kentucky Derby in world record time of 1:59 2/5, a record that still stands today. One of Secretariat’s most memorable accomplishments came in the 1973 Preakness Stakes with simply a stunning move on the clubhouse turn to take the lead and never look back. Big Red had a habit of taking the lead and not looking back.

The highlight of Secretariat’s racing career came in the running of the 1973 Belmont Stakes. It truly was the defining moment of beauty that was Secretariat. It is the race by witch all races are measured, then and now. It was not only the world record time of 2:24 or the 31 lengths the “big hearted chestnut” won by. It was exactly what all of America wanted to see, perfection.

Sadly Secretariat would die due to laminitis in 1989. Upon autopsy, it was found that Secretariat’s heart was two times the size of the average thoughbread. Big Red painted memories with “goose-bumps” and “tears of joy” that in reality would last about two minutes but in our hearts would last forever.

BULLSHIT

Trivia question of the day.

Which U.S. President was born on Sinking Spring Farm?

Word of the day.

Arcanum

Quote of the day.

“In all things of nature there is something of the marvelous.”

Aristotle

Useless information.

Though Walter Payton and Gale Sayers are certainly two of the greatest running backs of all time, it is the lesser-known Ernie Nevers who holds the Bears record for most rushing touchdowns in a single game, with six.

Common misconception.

A barking dog is dangerous — It can be, but that’s not why it’s barking. Dogs in the wild never bark, and neither do wolves, their canine cousins. Barking evolved in dogs in captivity as a means of warning the “members of their packs”, whether human of canine, that there is danger near. A growling dog is much more likely to attack than a barking one.

BUSHSHIT

ANSWERS

Trivia answer  — Abraham Lincoln, in 1809. The farm, in Hodgenville, Kentucky. is now a national historic site.

Word definition — 1) A deep secret; a mystery. 2) often arcana Specialized knowledge or detail that is mysterious to the average person; “knows the arcana of police procedure and the intricacies of litigation” 3) A secret essence or remedy; an elixir.