Welcome to The Breakfast Club!
AP’s Today in History for July 17th
TWA Flight 800 explodes; Russia’s royal family is executed; Disneyland opens; Nicaragua’s Somoza goes into exile; Apollo and Soyuz link up in Space; Baseball’s Ty Cobb and Jazz great John Coltrane die.
Breakfast Tune John Coltrane’s Giant Steps bass and banjo
Something to think about over coffee prozac
Aides Concerned Low Poll Numbers Could Drive Biden To Do Something Drastically Popular
the onion
WASHINGTON—Worrying that a plummeting approval rating may be clouding the president’s judgment, White House aides reportedly expressed concern Thursday that low poll numbers could drive Joe Biden to do something drastically popular. “Frankly, we’re extremely worried that these low poll numbers could be leading the president to a dark place mentally, wherein passing legislation for issues supported by the vast number of Americans may begin to sound like a logical solution,” said Biden chief of staff Ron Klain, adding that the secret service has already been put on high alert to watch for any sudden moves the president may make to fulfill one of his campaign promises. “He’s experiencing a lot of panic and depression right now as these early 2024 surveys come in, which can make it easy for someone to get too inside their own head and start entertaining dangerous ideas like cancelling student debt or, god forbid, codifying abortion rights. I’ve instructed our team to check in on him regularly, just to make light small talk and remind him that this is all temporary, so there’s definitely no reason to act rashly and permanently enact any meaningful reform that can’t be undone when he’s feeling better. The president’s mental well-being is of our chief concern right now, and we are dedicated to making sure that doesn’t lead him down a slippery slope to passing any mental healthcare initiatives.” At press time, a tearful Biden had to be talked down from signing an executive order to exonerate anyone left in prison for marijuana.