The Weapon of Young Gods #29: The Vortex of Angst

(9:45PM EST – promoted by Nightprowlkitty)

I came home from Olivia’s around midnight, right into a brewing vortex of angst that had been set in motion hours before. On my way up the driveway I’d barely noticed the unfamiliar, unmarked Crown Vic parked on the curb out front-I was too wrapped up in a cloud of bitter regret that had hovered like a vulture over my quick cross-town drive. I thought about sneaking in, cause the living room lights were out, but then I saw a faint glow bleeding in from the kitchen behind, so I threw that idea to the circling hellhounds and strode through the front door.

As I shut it I heard a thick burst of laughter, like two dirty and drunk old men in their favorite bar watching football cheerleaders on TV. I knew both voices; the first was my stepfather Andrew’s, but at first I couldn’t remember where I’d heard the second, a clipped bark of remorseless economy. Then, instantly, I knew who it was-the combination of my Liv-ridden guilty conscience with the four-wheeled predator outside must have had its own deathless inertia-and I edged into the kitchen, where my stepfather sat at the kitchen table, across from Detective James Kelley.

Previous Episode

“…you didn’t know that was Salcido? Hell, Doc, the Corporal would go tranny every night if he knew that it would fuck with us! The guy was a walking riot act!” Their laughter dissipated when they noticed me, but it didn’t die altogether; even if I wasn’t the current topic, I was still too stunned to speak, so it was the detective who broke the ice.

“I thought I’d be seeing you again, Roy.” He rose to shake my hand, and I pulled together enough to return a weak grip, but no further response. My stepdad filled the gap. “The detective isn’t here on business, Roy. There’s nothing to worry about.”

“Oh. Okay.” I shuffled my feet and tried to stay cool.

Kelley snorted. “Don’t be silly, Doc.” He turned to me. “I am on duty, but the department isn’t about to pay your stepdad a session fee out of nowhere just for my sake.”

Andrew chuckled, but I just stared. “Huh?”

Kelley was showing a generous amount of patience, just like at my interview. “Oh, the Doc and I go way back,” he smiled, his tan glowing in the low light. “We knew each other back when I was still in the service. Helped him out in the hoity-toity world of academics, didn’t I Doc?”

Andrew raised his eyebrow, but gave an indulgent grin. “So much for doctor-patient confidentiality, Jim.”

“Aw, come on. I thought all that didn’t need to stay under wraps anymore. Are you saying you can’t talk about it, even now?”

“Oh, I can’t, that’s true. There’s nothing against you revealing it, though.” My stepdad was still smirking a little, and the detective ejected another sharp “Ha!” in return as he moved to get up.

“Besides,” continued Andrew, “it’s only fair, what with your insistence on hiding behind that ‘ongoing investigation’ chestnut whenever I ask why you hauled the boys in for interrogation.” My heart stopped dead for a horrible second, but I still registered the lack of possessive adjectives. Guess we were still only “his” kids when it wasn’t embarrassing or inconvenient.

“Relax, Doc,” said Kelley. “I told you, all we did was talk about a birthday party your boys went to last fall. There was some underage drinking, and my office simply wanted to know who supplied them.” Andrew barely disguised an annoyed eye-roll, but the detective was undeterred. “Just like tonight, right?”

“What?” This I didn’t get, but Kelley waved me off with a laugh. “Your brother’s a deadly enemy of car windows, Roy.” Kelley winked cryptically as he turned to leave, with one last nod goodbye to my stepdad as he left. I watched him go through the front room and out the door, all the while feeling the spear-points of Andrew’s eyes on my back. I turned toward my room in a half-hearted escape attempt, but his voice brought me up short. “Just a minute, son.”

Wait, so now he calls me son? My brain cursed and spat a torrent of silent insults, but my mouth said nothing. I just wanted to sleep, forget about Olivia, and maybe tomorrow find out what R.J. did to bring down the detective on us again. Andrew was right, though; I’d managed to evade him while at school, shielded by the university’s privacy rules, but even though I was eighteen, he still paid all the bills-tuition, books, room and board-and he held all the cards worth playing.

I decided to gamble anyway. I didn’t have any endurance left, so I tried to cut off the oncoming lecture before he shifted into gear. “Look, Andrew, you know I’m sorry about the thing last fa-”

“Roy,” he interrupted, “you and I have been putting this off long enough. We need to talk about some of the choices you’ve made recently, and their consequences, and what you intend to do about it all. If your performance at school is suffering…”

He trailed off in apparent disappointment, and I closed my eyes, trying to marshal every mental plan of evasive action I’d ever needed against my stepdad’s methodical queries, only to choose an option he probably expected, but bargaining was all I could come up with at that late hour of a long, exhausting day.

“Andrew, I’m sorry, but I really need some sleep right now.” This much was true, so I looked him straight in the eyes and shot the moon. “I’m happy to do it, honestly, but we have all weekend, don’t we?” I kept my eyes locked on his, as conciliatory as I could be. I couldn’t have finessed an about-face if I tried, but I was able to step away and get well down the hallway before I heard him mumble in resigned agreement, prolonging Judgment Day for a precious few hours.

Stoked on success, I hustled to open the bedroom door, but it stuck on something, and then when I tried to force it I heard a dull thump and a low curse from R.J. on the other side. “Sorry,” I said weakly as I slipped into our room and locked the door behind me. My brother was down on the floor rubbing his temple where the door had hit him. “Dude, you weren’t listening, were you?”

R.J. smirked. “Of course I was. Just because I’m banished in here like a goddamn baby doesn’t mean I can’t try and find out if I’ll be charged with anything. That fucking bastard detective.” His righteous indignation was so pure that I almost laughed out loud.

“Doubtful, dude.” I pulled off my shoes and tossed my jacket onto the bottom bunk, my cramped berth back here at home. “What was it again? Breaking windshields? That won’t exactly land you in juvie.”

“Maybe not, but getting busted in front of my sister and our friends wasn’t my idea of a banner Friday night, Roy.”

“What the hell happened, anyway?”

“Same old same old. Got bored at Boehm’s after the beer ran out, and all the girls but Robin went home, so Alan drove us out to Saddleback Lanes to see if we could fit in a few frames before closing.”

“Sounds harmless enough. Well, not counting the underage drinking.”

“Shut up. I was getting to the rest of it. We got there around, like, ten-thirty, okay, and Alan’s car is like the inside of a sardine can, remember? Tiny and stinky. Anyway, in our, um, altered state, Mike and I decided the best thing to do to unwind would be for me to get a piggyback ride from him, you know, for the whole length of the parking lot.”

“That’s a…um, startling leap of logic there, R.J.”

“Of course it was, but it made perfect sense at the time. Dude, I can’t believe you’re lecturing me on the sinful dangers of alcohol.”

This time I did giggle a little. I hadn’t been in the presence of a genuine R.J. rave-up in many years, and it was nice to seem like the sane one for a change.

“Roy, I said shut the fuck up, okay?” My brother’s curses were topped off with a sheepish grin, as if he’d finally realized how ridiculous he’d been. “You’ll ruin the best part of the goddamn story.”

“Spill it then, Lushy McDrunkFace.”

“Fuck you. Okay, so get this-you know how Mike’s like, at least a foot taller than I am, right? Well, we figured it would be an easy trick, since we’re both so skinny, so Robin gives me a boost, and Mike grabs my legs, and then we’re set, right?”

“Uh…wrong?”

“So totally, completely wrong. Mike never got his balance-he was too plastered. He was still trying to pick me up some more when he staggered backwards. It was only a few steps, but it was fast and forceful enough to put my ass right through the back windshield of Alan’s car.”

He shook his head bitterly. “And right then, guess who screeches over in an unmarked fucking cop car? Fucking hell. I mean, Kelley’s eyes almost popped out when he saw who’d made the mess. Remembered me right away, and decided to drag me and Robin home himself, and we just left Mike and Alan there in the parking lot with the broken glass.”

I shook my head and suppressed a chuckle. “Oh man, that’s…that’s a real bummer. For Alan, I mean.”

“Thanks for your concern. I tried to call him just now but he’s not home yet. Must still be dropping off Boehm. Oh, and my butt’s fine, by the way.”

“Yeah, I bet it is!” I laughed. “I’m sure it’ll prove to be expensive, too!”

R.J. gave me some withering stink-eye, with a side order of right-back-atcha. “Yeah, well, you seem to be in a fucking great mood, Roy. Regular barrel of wild monkeys, huh? Didn’t have any underage action of your own tonight, did you?” Even half-drunk, my little brother could still cut me down to size. “Oh man, don’t ask,” I moaned, slumping down on the bed.

“Come on, what happened? Olivia didn’t jump you or anything, did she?”

“In so many words, yes. Yes she did.”

“Gee, that’s a real rough night, dude. I mean, a property-destruction rap doesn’t even come close, does it?”

“Yeah, well, it wasn’t exactly a comfortable experience, R.J.”

“Whatever you say, Roy.” He slowly got to his feet, yawning, and climbed the ladder to his top bunk. The mattress sagged slightly, a foot above my nose, and I reached over to hit the lights.

“By…the way,” said R.J. though another thick yawn, “what was all that about…with Andrew just now? I mean, he was pretty bent when I came home…sloshed in a cop car, but that didn’t last too long…when he saw the detective. I guess they used to know each other forever…ago.”

“It was nothing. Well, almost nothing. I think I’m due for another psychological evaluation, know what I mean?”

“To-to-totally.” R.J. wasn’t long for consciousness, but he was hanging on to this one. “Just…just let Andrew do…do his thing.” Another yawn. “You’ll be ba-ba-back at school in a few days…any…way…”

“Yeah, sure. Maybe I’ll be his only session tomorrow.”

“Nah man, you gotta…get in line…behind Ma-Ma-Madame Butterfly…again…”

“What? Who?” I thought R.J. must have finally crashed, because he wasn’t making sense anymore, and he confirmed this with a ragged snore.

I lay back and tried to let the whole day drain away-the gig, the date, the oncoming confrontations with psychoanalysis and the law, and the ominous, all-encompassing fright that still infected my every waking moment. It would be a long two days ahead. When I’d finally closed my eyes, everything had gone but the fear.