Many of you who read my posts know that I monitor the Fox “News” Channel from time to time so that you do not have to do so.  It is a high risk avocation, because insanity by osmosis is, in my scientific opinion, possible.

Today the repulsive John Stossel, the Fox “News” Channel “contributor” went on a tirade about warning labels on consumer products.  His thesis was that they are there only because of “trial lawyers” who fatten their pockets on the backs of big business.  By the way, the Fox “News” Channel regularly carries adverts by trial lawyers, mostly for mesothelioma, adverse drug effects, and firms that advertise about getting out of legitimate federal income tax cases.

This has been sort of a recurring theme for me the past few years for the installment nearest Independence Day.  You can hit my profile and find the earlier entries in this series.

This time, I intend to focus on the single greatest improvement in technology (other than the development of black powder) that has made modern, highly colored fireworks possible.  Until relatively recently the only colors available were white, yellow, and a dull red, with very faded out, compared to today, other colors.

First some theory, then some facts.  Please follow.

I apologize for not including a post last week, but I suffered from a large amount of lack of motivation.  You see, this was the first wedding anniversary in 33 years on which the former Mrs. Translator and I were not wedded.  I poured out my heart the previous Friday night here, and was drained.

Saturday I went to the mailbox and found a parcel from her.  She had sent me one of the most authoritative and scholarly works about the American Civil War (I still have problems with the name of the war, because it was not, by definition, a civil war, but I am coming to understand that my previous preferred title, The War between the States, is quite inaccurate as well).  In addition to the wonderful book she sent a card that touched me, in a good way, so much that I guess that I was dumbstruck.  I will never mention anything about the contents of that card except to say that it was likely the most touching thing that I have known in many years, and the telephone conversation that followed made it even more so.

No popular culture post tonight, or anything resembling it.  I will come back at this time next week for the installment about Emerson, Lake, and Palmer.  I just did not feel like writing about them for tonight.

Due to the results of my actions, which I will not address here (I have covered them in detail over the past several years), the former Mrs. Translator and I are no longer married.  No fault belongs to her; the fault is all mine.  That is not the point of this post.

As you know, I get questions from time to time about things.  I keep the best ones until I have enough to post them.  Some of them are serious, some are funny, and some do not quite make sense.

This is a followup to the hugely successful (for me, making the rec list) post from a couple of weeks ago.  You have Keith Olbermann to thank or to curse for stimulating me to write in the Thurber tradition.

By the way, Docudharma.com gets the scoop on this one.  I will not post it to the big orange until tomorrow because of the severe time restrictions on comments, and you all know that the comments are the best part of my posts.

Contrary to some popular opinion, salt is an essential part of the diet.  Unfortunately, it is possible to get too much of a good thing, and that is true in the case of salt.

On the other hand, it is possible to become deficient in salt, although that is quite rare with a modern western diet.  However, vegans and other vegetarians can become deficient, especially when performing strenuous work in hot weather, since sweat is about 0.9% salt.

This is a recipe that I invented a couple of years ago, and it works with almost all fruit except ones that are very infirm.  I would not recommend using ripe peaches or blackberries because they, at their prime, are extremely fragile.

It works well with blueberries and commercial strawberries, however.  One could substitute any fairly firm fruit (making allowances for acid and sugar balance) and get a good product.  Since the current host of What’s for Dinner? on the orange site (like I always do when I am the host) did not choose to share that post here, I at least will share my recipe with my cherished friends here at Docudharma.

Screaming Lord Sutch was an early and, unfortunately, now obscure British rocker.  He did not really have that much musical ability of his own, but was able to collect about himself a collection of current and future British rock superstars.  His band came and went, but included some really big names.

He was not a Lord at all, he was a commoner named David Edward Sutch, born 19401110.  He took the stage name Screaming Lord Sutch, third Earl of Harrow (I have also seen fifth Earl quoted) in the early 1960s, and was pretty much known by that afterwards.  He took the “Screaming” part from Screaming Jay Hawkins, who we mentioned last week in the Arthur Brown istallment.

Some adverts are funny and welcome.  The classic Where’s the Beef? one is wonderful.  So was Speedy Relief from Alka-Seltzer, recently renewed.  There are lots a good ones, but there are many more bad ones.

The ones that TBS and Fox run are often poor, but not always always offensive.  I have found an offensive series.  It is from Kraft foods, and is the epitome of the stupid father and the snotty nosed child.

BP has reported today yesterday (-Sunday- Monday) that they collected 6100 10,000 barrels of oil in the past 24 hours.  This is stupendous!  (Note:  the volume changes.  It was over 10,000 in 24 hours now, but that just reinforces my point).

If this is correct, and it seems to be, if they can tune their collection device a bit more, they can collect more, perhaps much more.  You do not understand the ramifications of this development.  If correct, BP will go down in history as the most important cog in the wheel of energy independence ever for the United States.  Please allow me to elaborate.