Ms. Colorado, 23 year old Blair Griffith was evicted, along with her ailing mother, from her apartment in November.

She watched, stunned, as sheriff’s officers, armed with an eviction notice, tossed all of their worldly possessions into trash bags.  And just like that, the young woman whose beauty and poise had put her on the path to the Miss USA crown was homeless.

She is now unemployed.  She was employed at Sachs.  

I watched her on RT this evening, and she was surprisingly upbeat.  They are staying with good friends.

My message when I get to the pageant is just that I want to be an inspiration and show that no matter the hardships you’re facing, if you stay focused on your dreams, you can achieve them.  

I think we have enough inspiration out there with the homeless, unemployed.  I think we need a poster child like Ms. Griffith to be angry.  If she has not become political at this point, I don’t know what to say.

She seems a nice young woman; she’s attractive, poised and articulate.  All she needs to represent America is a AK-47 rifle and perhaps a Drone Predator to hit all the notes.

Look, I feel for her.  But no doubt someone in DC or the Village will pluck her out of her homeless situation and give her a home and the Predator.  Then she can be feted as a young woman who overcame her (not the situation foisted on the US population) situation. Then she can be brought center stage when the crybabies, when the crazy left, the dirty hippies complain about eviction, homelessness and/or … oh look there, a shiny new war in Africa.  

Maybe the MOTU are putting valium or happy pills in the water.  Wish they’d send some my way.

I wish her good fortune as I wish all of us who are living under this regime.    

Yes – I was a Hillary supporter for the Presidential election.  Yes – I think she is smart and competent.  She would have made a better president domestically – foreign policy – questionable; perhaps the same as Obama and his advisors. She’s tied herself to this administration.  Still, because I like and admire her – I give her slack.  She is working in the world muck – we are sitting outside in the clearer air.  But, as I said she’s tied herself to Obama Brand policies.

No matter that (and please don’t make this a flame diary about Hillary) – she gets what’s going on as to the foreign tv presence in our midst.  Thank God say I – though I suppose most politicians and American pundits haven’t recognized yet that we are falling behind in newsgathering and televising points of view, and we are eating oil soaked dust.

I watch RT News every day for at least l/2 hour and often more – I go to Max Keiser’s televised spots at least twice a week on my computer.  More importantly, more and more people (not even mildly left) are watching.  I recently had a conversation at the train stop with a nice, nonpolitical woman who is avidly watching RT.  (I didn’t know this stuff, says she.)  I have given up on non-cable news channels.  I won’t go to NPR since they hired several military officers in the ramp up of the Iraqi invasion – no.  Not too much on the other side as I recall – the rational side.  Frontline does good work – and of course, I miss Mr. Moyers.  MSNBC is a distracting noise – giving us the false impression that one of media MOTU is listening to us.  Really, that was only an executive corporate decision “Let’s give them this so they’ll be quiet.”  (This is how cynical I’ve become.)

But Hillary understands more and more Americans and other Westeners are watching the foreign news channels.  RT is where a viewer could learn, for instance, that homeless people in New York have a lottery at shelters to see who gets in for the cold nights.  And right now an enlightening program is up on the Chicago Grain Exchange and world hunger. They have well put-together slices of Russian life as well – travelling all over Russia, focusing on the best of Russia’s culture and cottage industries – no doubt fostering travel.  I want to go to St. Petersburg next year (though because of Tolstoy, not RT.)   During the ramp up to the Iraqi War, BBC and the Canadian Public radio stations were a balm making that horror more bearable, and for that there is gratitude.  But BBC is not as sharp as it once was – sounds tired and trying to please the MOTU (only with a British accent which is always a plus).

So when Hillary says in a congressional hearing that we are falling behind and specifically mentions RT News, she is right.  She has watched it and said it was “instructive.”  In other words, she gets it.  It is instructive.  Now does the government want the populace here to get it – nope.  What she wants is a superduper American channel like these foreign outlets to get the American point of view out.  As long as we continue to send the marines and ships out to oil rich countries – well, let’s say it’s gonna be a hard sell.    

Question:  How do we hide invasions, torture, whistleblower hunting season, drones, the death of the middle class and the rise of a corporate and slave society?  Answer – we can’t hide all of it of course. And why would they put it out there for all to see? (See Julian Assange and Bradley Manning) Thank God there are still good, honest journalists here.  But those journalists won’t be on the news outlet she is proposing.  Nay – but it gives me a bit of pleasure.  At least Hillary gets it.

And here’s a thought:  Michael Moore, Matt Tabbai, Chris Hayes, Glenn Greenwald won’t be getting spots on that news outlet.  Ya think.

This morning to forestall beating my head against the wall, I called Dick’s office:

A nice young lady answered –

X:  I can hardly believe it, but this am I heard on the Russian tv station that we may

   interfere and well – invade Libya.  I can’t believe it.  I cannot.  Now I know as do

   others that Sen. Durbin is a neoliberal who is working behind the scenes to

   cut SS and probably Medicare.  It is what it is. I’ve given up on him as an

   strong Democrat and I hope that the cuts in SS/Medicare will help – how can I put

   it – help out our corporate masters in the oil business.   Is there gas there?

   whatever.  Also to help out the masters of the universe mercenary firms.  I want

   to do my part.  

Silence  

  Perhaps I am unhinged.  Several wars instituted by your country in an old lady’s

  lifetime can do that.  Wars that were paid for by her retirement funds.  May I make

  a bet with you, young lady.  In  5, 6, 7 years,  this headline is a possibility:

  Russian, Iran and China finalize an oil deal with Libya.  The United States has

  signed another trade deal with Libya causing the loss of 3,450 jobs.  Food riots

  have broken out in Detroit, Chicago and Dallas.

Silence  Finally:

  Well, I will pass your concerns on to Senator Durbin.

X: Oh don’t bother, my dear.  He’s not interested in me, or reason for that matter.

Silence

X: Thank you for your time – I just had to make a phone call about it. I hope you

  understand.

                                        ********

I feel as though I am going mad.  Am I?

The Main Stream Media – in lockstep with the “fairness doctrine” (suddenly in popularity again) are talking about the violence of the extreme left and the extreme right.  About the “nuts” on the left and the patriotic gunrights advocates of the right.  

How many people were shot on the jeering other side in the huge anti-war marches in Chicago.

Umm – let me think.   None.

How many people were violent in those marches?

Umm – well the police occasionally.  And to be fair – some bottles were tossed.  In most of the marches I attended families with children in strollers attended – and there was no violence at all on our side.

Did these wild crowds in their frenzied madness tie up traffic for an hour or so?

Yes but to be fair it was more like two hours.  

Were any motorists attacked?

None.

How many people throughout the world during those marches carried guns and used them?

Hmm.  I don’t think any used them.  But, of course, in the interests of fairness perhaps some carried weapons.

Sputter sputter — but flags were burned.

Yes, they were and there was some amusing and on-target theatre also going on.

How is Iraq doing now?

We’ve pretty much ruined it in sanctioned and targeted bombing of the population.  Smart bombs you know.  But lots of people are making money – the governing class, of course.  In 2010 according to the UN, over 140,000 refugees fled to Syria and Jordan, et al.  And thousands more in prior years.  Over a million are internally displaced.  Of course, we musn’t forget that a statue was toppled and Sadam was eliminated.  So – there’s that.

What about Falujah?

We destroyed it for its own good.

But we’ve secured oil for ourselves in any event.

No, not really.  I believe for instance other nations such as China are buying that oil.  And they didn’t have to go to war – smart people.

Why aren’t there any marches now?

The American people are dispirited by a government that is not interested in them, yet takes away their money for the upper classes. And let’s face it – huge numbers in the world came out and no one paid any attention to us before so…. Oh — plus we’re scared now.  

I got nuthin.

If a young bride were to come to me and ask for homemaking advice (unlikely since I’ve never been married) – my maxim would be “Never Leave an Ironing Board up Overnight in the Kitchen.”  You can leave it up in the dining or living room because when company comes – you are sure to clean it off and parcel it off to the basement or nearest closet.  But in the kitchen, it becomes counter space, and one morning with a cab honking outside waiting to take you to the airport, you will be ironing your white cotton blouse on the real granite counter space and wondering where your luggage tags are, the ones you bought last year.  They are on the ironing board where you put them about six months ago, now covered by unfinished crossword puzzles, Spanish grammar books (unopened), several items of clothing needing new zippers and buttons and three cats sitting with their paws folded watching you with interest.  (Where is she going do you think?  Who will feed us?)  A minor advisory warning, but certainly worth thinking about.



Social Security and Self-Esteem – Self-Worth – Self-Confidence (you know that kind of stuff)

If SS is cut in a real meaningful way, older women will be in the center pathway of that oncoming truck crash. I am a member of the Silent Generation – raised by children of the depression.  I watched my father especially trying to navigate in this money equals worth world with a kind of timidity and lack of self-esteem as closely as only girl children observe their fathers – with a mixture of anger and pity.  It certainly was a marker to my future choice of men – I am a rescuer and then I get angry.  ‘Nuff said.  That would require a novel so I won’t elucidate.  My mother was feisty but looking back I think women are allowed a leeway that men aren’t as far as rebellion against an unjust society – just enough, mind you – but women just aren’t threatening the way men are.  Or maybe it was just a reaction to the husband she married.  My father was a good and gentle man.  He was very smart – could have been an engineer had he been born a few years later or had some meaningful help.  But I am pretty much what I am due to the scars of that 30s depression – it defined him and I have to fight for other definition markers.  My son, having been raised by me alone, has exactly the opposite tendencies.  He needs to worry more, not less.  He may be learning these hard lessons now (another diary) but that is also a legacy of that ’30s political and economic landscape – these damages are handed down one, two generations.  And they are costly, in oh so many ways, financially and damming up a creativity and spirituality and generosity of spirit because we are afraid.  As to self-sacrifice, in my experience we are good at that.  Dick Durben, in his exhortation to us older ladies to stop whining and face the reality of self-sacrifice needs to observe his constitutency (or should I say prior constituency) – and honor us, not slap us around.  But what the heck – he’s a member of Congress.  What can we expect?

Self worth, self confidence translates into a productive society with enough for everyone, happiness included.  These financial breakdowns managed by thieves and murderers and aided by sissy lawmakers make sure there will be monumental breaks in society every so often.  Count on it.

 

I can’t go into my kitchen because the birds fly off the back porch where I’ve put bird seed.  Somehow they sense my presence if I am not very careful as I edge toward the door to watch them. The snow is coming down hard and there’s no sense putting birdfood down in the yard.  I’ll get to the feeders soon after they leave the porch.  Still, if I move quietly toward the door, I can see the female cardinals and sparrows, as well as a few chicadees.  The females have a punk male cardinal with them – I can tell young male cardinals from their punk looking feathers on top.  So, it’s not only the human family where children stay home longer or move back in.  (I really have to relearn how to get pictures up here.)  I hope the doves don’t come for awhile.  They are agressive and literally push smaller birds away – they certainly do not live up to their name.

When I can move around freely, I’ll make toast with cinammon topping.  Maybe I’ll make a Dutch Baby pancake.  You don’t need a lot of ingredients and it’s yummy.

The Big Pancake:

3 tablespoons butter

2 eggs, beaten

l/3 cup milk

l teaspoon sugar

l/4 teaspoon of sale

pinch of ground nutmeg

For garnish:

juice of one lemon

powerdered sugatr

Preheat oven to 425 degrees

Put the butter in a 9 or l0 inch pie plate or ovenproof skillet.  Place in oven, then remove once butter is melted

Mix the remaining ingredients together with a whisk and pour into hot skillet or plate.  Immediately return to oven and bake for about 18-20 minutes till puffy and evenly browned on the outside.

then squeeze l lemon juice and powdered sugar.   Allora –  

I’m watching Mary Wesley’s BBC series on tape: The Camomille Lawn.  A wonderful story of love and regret in WWII England.  So I’ll cuddle up today and watch that, and if I haven’t had enough sugar – I’ll watch the Hallmark Channel.  Yup, it’s that kind of day.  Besides I’m tired of my political, stiffened outraged self at the moment.  

Today is my birthday.  I am 72, so naturally I’m thinking of my mother and all the sweet, kitchen-warm, winter afternoons we shared when I was a child – she listening to Portia Faces Life and Just Plain Bill and me sitting at the table coloring or helping out with the baking. Those were times when children were satisfied with the quiet task of paper, scissors and if we were lucky – the 54 pack of crayons. I’ve never since been so at peace and happy and safe-feeling.  Wherever you are mother – thank you.

On April 5, 2010 a mine blast killed 29 miners at Massey Energy’s Upper Big Branch mine – 50 miles from Charleston.  It was the deadliest mine disaster since 1970 and is the subject of criminal and civil investigations.

Don Blankenship – the CEO of Massey – is retiring.  

He is set to receive $12 million as well as $5,000 monthly payments as a consultant to the company.

He will have healthcare for two years.

Investors cheered the retirement.  Now it seems Massey is in a better position to be sold.

“It may increase the chances that Massey could be merged or acquired” said Michael Dudas, an analyst with Jefferies & Company.  “Now they’re moving on with an acquisition.  The stock has reacted very favorably.”  

the above from AP.

Don is not worried about the investigations apparently.  Says Don:

“I pretty well think I know what happened and what the outcome will be, so I’m not concerned anymore about the investigation.  I think its pretty much behind us.”

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. debated Don at the University of West Virginia in January 2010.  Don was totally unprepared.  RFK Jr. was totally prepared with and reeled off fact after fact about declining mining employment in West Virginia, the age of Appalachian ecosystems and the impossibility of recovering them, the number of Clean Water Act violations from Massey, etc.  Every fact was geared toward a plea to West Virginians:  Look, this man is making himself rich by making you poor.  He’s sapping your state of jobs, income, health and a future.  

Don had nothing but “resentment and nativism.”  Over and over his statements mentioned: “rhetoric” and “just false.”  He asked the crowd to dismiss them on crude stereotypes about out-of-state environmentalists, environmentalists are overly emotional – pesky regulations mean we should all learn Chinese.  (from an article by David Roberts (www.grist.org)

According to David Roberts:

He still talks like that.  ….stuck to his narrative that global warming is a hoax, hippie environmentalists are strangling free enterprise, out of staters have no right to questions here and China is going to take over. We’re crazy to be worried about pollutants.  We’re in a ruthless global competition for dominance, etc. etc.    

It’s over for me, not you, Senator Dick.  I am sure your star will rise when you join one of the neoliberal think tanks or perhaps work for Peter Peterson.  Surely you will be paid for your latest statement and the fact that you have shamed the old ladies in the United States for their selfish nature and crybaby attitude:

From Bloomberg.com

If we want to come up with something bipartisan to work on together, Social Security is a good candidate.

Not wars, not income disparity, not people out of work, unable to feed their children, keep a roof over their heads – not sending jobs anywhere but here.  But SS, and older women will be most impacted by that and those that depend on them.

                                       *******

Me, I’m looking around for new structures.  Old ladies should band together, perhaps into loose communes, living together, gardening together for food, keeping each other strong physically and mentally.  Also, I will be looking for underground medical personnel who believe in euthanasia rather than a slow, painful death for an old person without any social net.  You will be fine, of course, Senator Dick.  And – by the way – I know you don’t read these letters.  They are actually for my mental health.

Little old ladies will be fine if we stick together.  After all, there are children and grandchildren to help, animals and gardens to tend to.   Although we will be considered a drain – I suppose that is inevitable as the country swirls into soft violence at first – then a full throttle fall from grace (God has shed his grace on us but we have turned it over to the monied elites.)

Firearms are problematic.  There will be young children, adolescents in these communal homes.  Children come first.  We have to be healthy for them and the houses must be safe.    Police will be cut and desperate people will be roaming about.  Little old ladies are an easy target.  It is a melancholy thought, I agree but we have many people depending on us.  And we cannot depend on anyone but ourselves.  We are resiliant, smart and tough and although our bodies are aging, we can be wily and nimble together.  It may be we must have besides seamstresses, cooks, gardeners, knitters (bitter or not), retired military and policewomen.  Also, we must learn how to hide our meager savings – and how to live frugally.  Normally, that is not a problem for my generation but I hope to entice some Boomers into our living arrangements.  They must be as scared as we are.

My first order of business is to put my older animals to sleep.  It is the best gift I can give them now.  I can’t afford vet bills and won’t send them to shelters to die.  I have the money now and it must be done.

Second order – learn how to hide money for me and my companions and our children, many of whom will be unemployed or underemployed for the foreseeable future.  They will depend on the little old ladies more than they know.

Third order – turn off the television.  It’s viral, sucking the life out of us.

Fourth order – eat less.  We all eat too much really.  I think 2 meals a day should suffice.  and eat properly – but children and working young people must have more food than we do.  That is a given.

Fifth order – I have to get out of this climate – it’s too brutal.  (I live in Chicago area)  I don’t know where to move yet but it must be done.

I read this am on AP that you have endorsed the Bowles-Simpson bill – most specifically on changing the SS retirement age to 69.  Then said something along the lines that it is unsustainable to spend the money we are spending on food stamps for children for instance.  You didn’t mention that it will be unsustainable as well to spend the monies we will spend on those of the working class who will be retiring earlier and asking the government for disability funds.  Plus, I so admire the way politicians pit children, babies, kittens, struggling university students against older Americans.  It’s so subtle and heartwrenching.

As well, you are onboard with cutting the tax credit for companies offering healthcare.  That’s not going to affect anyone’s healthcare, is it?  For sure, American companies will not give up their health insurance benefits to employees if there is no tax benefit.  If we’ve learned anything, it is that corporations are our friends, trusted, courageous and unselfish.  Of course, there is no dearth of employees in other countries, for instance – who wouldn’t mind this – having national healthcare.  So good on America – more outsourcing.

I will come back to this diary after I research further but I am having some friends over for lunch and want to begin the festive preparations.  It will be a modest affair but I am a good cook so we will eat heartily.

Usually I have a Christmas doing of some kind but this year in the spirit of austerity, I am foregoing it and instead having two friends for lunch.  Also, in the spirit of paying my real estate taxes which have risen about 35%.  As dark winter closes in on me and the other little old ladies here in the Chicago area – a Holiday Party is really an act of sanity as we face the long, cold winter – more isolated due to the weather as younger people.  But look – I want to do my part, as do my other elderly friends. Perhaps you can give us more hints so we can accomplish this.  I’ve gone to your website and seen nothing yet as to your sacrifices.  I’m disappointed but know you are a busy and important man with many more austerities to research to keep America safe and healthy.

I am leaving for now – but will revisit this diary and make revisions, if necessary.  Til then, Dick, I wish you and Barry all the things you deserve this Holiday Season.

Oh, and Dick, if any of your constituents are being crybabies about the 69 yr SS thing, please direct them to Alan Simpson – his sharp mind, his compassion, his love of country – and he’s past 69, isn’t he?  But wait – when do your congressional benefits kick in?  

I’ll be back after lunch and will change any inaccuracies if necessary.

P.S. —  we can discuss discontinuing the mortgage tax interest option which I believe is another option you endorse – what the heck – where are the Real Estate lobbyists?  

Dick, I see you have come out and said that you voted for this proposal so that you will have a “seat at the table” when the time comes to oh let’s say – get serious.  Your liberal blessing (excuse me while I leave the room to roll around the floor and scream) —

okay, that felt good – gives credence to the seriousness and cover that you and your pal, Obama, give to these suggestions that screw the working class.

Dear Dick,

hello, it’s Xan.  I haven’t written for awhile but I have been thinking hard about my sacrificial list.

You probably don’t shop much, having the important work of the Senate and the Debt Commission and all of that, so you may not have noticed that bird seed is getting ver (I am shortening words from here on out for the sake of austerity) expensy.  While wheeling my cart down and about the store, it came to my limited attention span that bird seed is spendy now.  This may be a good place for me to continue my sacrificial list.  Thus, no bird seed.

Comes Saturday morning and I awake to the comforting sound of birds singing.  Birdsong – it’s a pret word, isn’t it.  Then sadly I remembered I didn’t buy any birdseed.  Now my yard is not fancy, nor are the birds that frequent it.  They are mostly sparrows, little brown things – but they sing their little hearts out.  Unlike many of the men to whom I have been kind – the birds more than pay me back with melodies throughout the day and into twilight (I considered using the word “dusk” here in the interests of austerity but “dusk” is such an ugly sounding word.  Even “the lesser people” are struck by the beauty of language. This may be problematic for the Debt Commission.)  They are not wily like the worm-finding robins, nor are they feisty like the noisy bluejays – but their music can be likened to Bach on good mornings.  It made me sad that they no longer came to the bird feeders – it took about 4 days before they understood there would be no sustenance at my house.  And so there was no music in my home that was not powered by electronics – a sad moment indeed.

Then it struck me – my mother’s kitchen.  How she did I do not know.  But no one – no one, even her arch enemy, Mrs. Santangelo, left her kitchen without some little thing to eat or drink.  It was like a lighteni blt – it is who I am.  I am my mother, especially in her kitchen.  To the store for birdseed – where I bought 2 25-pound bags and they came back – lyrical and loud but mostly lyrical.  They are forgiving little brown things, kind-hearted and industrious.

So now the dilemma:  What can the new sacrifice be?  At this point, my two dogs seem to be nervous – perhaps worried that the arm of sacrifice will smite them.  It will not, of course.  But it’s pleasant to see them paying attention to my “commands” for a change.  Of course, as a “lesser person” my commands are tender and tentative – we, like the little brown sparrows don’t expect much, don’t really need that much and will sing for kindnesses received.

The problem is we can expect no kindnesses from The Debt Commission – and rightly so say the commentators – But mostly the tators are without heart or sense for that matter, and even my mother may have sent them from her kitchen with an empty tin cup.

Would you be kind enough to ask your fellow commishes what sacrifices they have been making – perhaps I could find a hint there of where I can make a difference in America’s future.  And, by the way, I went to your site again and found no mention of your sacrifices.  I know you have been busy what with the losses and all – but perhaps you can put this on your to-do list.  “List sacrifices for constitutents’ morale.”  

But really, don’t worry about our morale – we don’t look to the Senate or God forbid the Debt Commission for courage or comfort – please disabuse yourself of that.  We look to each other and to the little brown things in our life who deliver.  

Update:  A friend of mine called me and said  It’s “Ein bischen etwas.”  or so her family said when she was a child – In Italian, I think it’s un piccola cosa.    

From AP this morning:

Followed by the politics of home, President Obama on Sunday acknowledged that he must make some mid-term corrections if he is to win over a frustrated electorate and work with resurgent Republicans.

Bla bla bla bla..as Obama begins looking ahead to his own reelection in 2012.

Well, we’re screwed.

Meantime, Texas is considering withdrawing Medicaid.  Just for starters – if the leader of the Democratic Party has capitulated – what else can we expect from the Republicans.

Oh, there’s more to come you betcha.

Were the Republicans capitulating after we handed this guy the keys to the country.  Short answer:  no.

From Mother Jones on November 20, 2008

Having narrowly survived his reelection campaign Senator Mitch McConnell was in an expansive mood….Back in Washington he spoke at the annual convention of the Federalist Society, the powerful conservative legal organization.  

***

Far from being demoralized by the brutal campaign McConnell declared that he was REFRESHED AND ENERGIZED BY THE BATTLE.  ….McConnell spoke approvingly of Obama’s plan to cut taxes and to tackle entitlement reform and energy security.

Again, we’re finished if this guy wins in 2012.  I know some have mentioned we’ll then get better progressive leaders in 2016 – I think we’ll be so demoralized we’ll be unable to do anything but thank God we can feed the kids.

Because even if The One gives up the SS/Medicare systems – and in effect that’s what he did with the authorization of the Debt Commission – they won’t respect him, like him, coddle him, admire him – whatever the hell he’s looking for – they ain’t gonna do it.

So what else can he do to win their respect?  I don’t even want to contemplate it.

Note:  Lindsey Graham is talking tough about Iran again.  

****

Note as well if you will, the first thing McConnell in 2008 did was speak to a group of his own entrenched constituency – whereas Obama chose to travel.