* Getting real tired of politics, so *

In Search of the Cricket Master:

Clean and Handy

 Through the Slug National Network there came a startling report from Gene Slacks which could not be ignored: Cricket wrestling, a Chinese pastime akin to the cock fights of Puerto Rico, had entered our borders. The NYC SFS Bureau knew that a story of such social import could only be handled by their new reporting duo, a post-modern day Woodward and Bernstein, that is, Splinter and Roaddawg.

 They decided there was only way to do this properly, dress up like part German heroin dealer/part ’70s TV detective. All of the following is true, or so says the two who danced with the Cricket Masters.

Okay, I got something really good coming down the pipes, actually doing a little investigative reporting. Seems there were some fronts used in the subprime market that are of very questionable legality. But more on that later, today I am gonna scare the living shit out of you.

I’ve heard a lot about American Depression this, Holy Fuck Our Money Is Worthless that, but where is the data?

Where are the charts?

Where is the pure information that will prove we are not over a barrel, because we can’t even afford the barrel anymore?

Well, folks, here it is. Take a drink, hit the bong or prozac up like a suburban soccer mom, because here we go into the rabbit hole:

Order was finally restored this morning when President George W. Bush was issued a sippy cup. Last night, in what is being referred to as the “Grape Juice Incident”, President Bush lost his big boy glass privileges after spilling his nighty-night drink all over the Oval Office carpet.

“No matter where my Georgie goes,” said his bemused wife Laura, “he is sure to leave a mess. You should see the havoc he cases when we traveling overseas. After George leaves, I always get calls that the place looks like a hurricane went through.”

Others did not find the situation so funny. One anonymous source says this is the biggest fiasco since the infamous “CookieGate”, where President Bush was busted stashing two chocolate chip cookies under his pillow.

“Look, I am the decider, and I decided to put juice on my family with this here cup,” President Bush said in a hastily called press conference concerning his downgrade in glassware. “I promise you I will listen to what has been said about my cup, even though I wasn’t here. I’m the commander of my sippy cup – see, I don’t need to explain – I do not need to explain why I say things. That’s the interesting thing about being president.”

“This big boy glass stuff is a little frustrating,” he continued, sipping his afternoon milk with the safety top securely screwed on. “I’m the master of low expectations.”

There is no word when Bush will be granted big boy glass privileges again. Chief of Staff Joshua Bolten suggested that Administration will withdraw the sippy cup when Bush learns to “not destroy every single **expletive** thing he touches.”

Washington, D.C.  — McDonald’s has decided to honor the straight talking senator from Arizona with a new mouth watering sandwich that will go straight to your lips, The McSame! Noting that Republican presidential candidate John McCain has the same kind of maverick  branding often associated with the world’s leading burger chain, the brand tie in was  a match made in dead cow heaven.

“Customers continue to tell us that they want the exact same burger served the exact same way in all our exactly the same restaurants,” said Bonnie Clinsdine, Vice President/GeneralManager of the McDonald’s International. “Since McCain is offering the exact same presidency of the last eight years, we knew the McSame sandwich would appeal to our clientele.”

While basically just a Big Mac, the McSame offers a new layer of red, red meat shipped directly from the ranches outside of Tehran. It also features onions from Somalia and non-organic lettuce shipped semi-directly by slow boats from Indonesia.

“We are also in talks with Venezuela to produce our buns,” add Clinsdine. “If their buns aren’t brown enough, there is always Ecuador.”

Customers reactions so far have been mixed.

“To tell you the truth, I have really lost a taste for these things,” said unemployed local trucker John Golkin. “I basically came in for the commerative McSame cup, after hearing Rush talk it up. Of course, I couldn’t afford to get it and to super-size, so I just went with my gut.”

Area Slow Food activist Jeremy Norfair complained that McDonald’s was just selling the exact same sandwich they had always sold, except with a new face.

“Sure, it says McSame, but that is the same promotional item they have been pawning off on customers for the last eight years,” commented Norfair, watching the people devour the red, red meat of the McSame. “First it was the Freedom Burger, then it was Burger Accomplished. Of course it all started with, least we forget, the 9-11 Burger. I always thought it was in bad taste, but Americans’ seem to be buying it. Come on people, it’s the same hamburger! It’s even in the name!”

While Norfair questioned the repetitive nature of a hamburger whose previous incarnations were utter failures, there were also some who did not like the ever so slight new changes to the McSame.

“I am not sure I can quite put my finger on it, or nor would I,” disgruntled patron Sheila Eliam said while trying to down the same meat she has been eating for the last eight years. “While the extra meat appeals to me, I am not so sure about this new secret sauce.”

“Ah yes, the new secret sauce,” Clinsdine said in response to Eliam’s comments. “It’s basically the same one we have been using since 2000, except we added a streak of something crazy. Very, very crazy. How else can we flavor all that red meat? But don’t worry America! The McSame is still the same red, red meat you have enjoyed the last 8 years!”

I love it when a plan comes together, especially when its some real A-Team geopolitical jive. While I don’t believe this will happen, the mere fact that it is plausible should make any citizen, left or right of the aisle, question their faith in the imperial executive. I give you the May Day Conspiracy:

I guess this is cool, to all the people who fear that nationalizing our banks will lead to the doom of America. Sure, repeal all the regulations and let the private Federal Reserve do whatever it wants. It’s not like they are devaluating the coinage in some elaborate scheme meant to loot the citizenry.

Or is it?

http://www.inteldaily.com/?c=1…

“Gold was at $400 at the time, and the cost of production was $187 to the mining companies. By keeping the price reasonable, Red explained that it also kept the mining companies operating. Hearing the mumblings of disbelief in the audience, Red said, “Oh, you didn’t know that the Fed bought gold for 10 cents an ounce? Well, let me tell you how they do it.”

He then reminded them of something that everyone in that audience already knew: that the Fed printed paper bills-from $1 to $100 denominations. The price of ink and paper was the same-at a cost of 2.5 cents each. So four $100 bills were created at a cost to the Fed of 10 cents, and these could then be traded for one ounce of gold.”

I often try to remind people that the rich have various ways of ripping us off. One way is to transfer gold around at rock bottom prices. Of course when that gold is then transfered again, someone makes a hell of a return.

Last I checked, gold was around 925 USD. Each $100 costs the Fed about 2.5 cents to make. So we are looking about a quarter in printing costs. This has lead to a debasing of the coinage of the most absurd kind.

This gets into the realm of Lawful Money vs. Fiat Money.

Technically, every bill in your wallet is unlawful. At the bottom is “Legal Tender for All Debts, Public and Private”, our money is just bankers’ script. It is based on nothing but the whims of the ruling elite and their patsy the Federal Reserve, which isn’t federal and has no reserves. In fact, recently it has negative reserves. Which is why they will just print more money and buy more gold for a quarter. Of course, this will cause a further devaluation of our coinage and the cycle continues.

Now here is the kicker. The ruling elite has almost a monopoly on lawful money, any form of currency issued by the United States Treasury and not the Federal Reserve System, including gold and silver coins, Treasury notes and Treasury bonds.

Now as they increase inflation, either through this ingenious gold buying technique to generate more bankers’ script or through a wholescale looting of the collective treasury of America, unlawful money’s value inflates as well.

Only the unlawful money based on fiat is affected by inflation. So as the people’s buying power goes down, the ruling elite’s buying power goes up.

It’s quite a system.

All the great men of import gathered around the table. Lunch had broken and the help swiftly took the service away so the captains of industry could tackle the task at hand. They were veritable whose who of plutocrats.

At the head of the table sat Thomas W. Lamont, acting head of Morgan Bank; Albert Wiggin, head of the Chase National Bank; and Charles E. Mitchell, president of the National City Bank. Lesser men flanked them down each side of the dark chestnut table. There was levity in the air. The Republic was in crisis.

They remember the Panic of 1907, the fourth panic in three score years. It was JP Morgan who stepped in then, the great man himself. He organized a team of bank and trust executives that secured international lines of credit and bought plummeting stocks of healthy corporations. The free market had saved itself that day, save the help from international friends.

Or that’s how they chose to remember it.

After brief rebout, they choose Richard Whitney to be there man who was to be their new Morgan. He would lead their resources into battle. They would buy large blocks of the falling stock of U.S. Steel. Then they would move onto other blue chip stocks. Unfortunately, there was no foreign capital to be had. So they decided to move forward as one, coordinated like the fingers of a hand.

This was at 1 p.m. on Friday, October 25.

Over the weekend, this meeting of the financial gods was splashed on every newspapers across the United States. The plutocrats were the Britney Spears of their day, and these group of elite was all but certain that their actions would fix public trust in the market. By Sunday, these men had convinced them that they were finally around the bend and good times were here again. The credit crisis of the late 1920s was over!

On Monday, October 28, the people bought none of what the plutocrats were selling, and even less stock. In fact, the public who had stock along with almost all other investors decided to get out of the market. At the end of the day, the Dow was down by 13%.

There were rumors that the Rockefeller family and other financial giants were set to buy large quantities of stocks. Even William C. Durant was on board. Surely the public would see that they had confidence in the market, so the public should to.

The next day was “Black Tuesday”, October 29, 1929, 16.4 million shares were traded.

The Dow lost another 12%.

The ticker did not stop running until about 7:45 that evening.

The lost for the week was $30 billion, ten times more than the annual budget of the federal government.

It was more than America had spent in World War 1.

The masters of Wall Street meet and discussed went wrong. They released that it was the foreign capital that JP Morgan had connected with domestic spending capabilities that had won the day in 1907. It was outside investors who bought the American credit. Without outside stimulus, the credit cycle would cannibalize itself until it was not only unruly, but also worthless.

The men laughed, realizing their folly. One junior raised a specter, “What if the country had already burned through its entire line of foreign investment and credit?”

Lamont looked up from his bourbon and muttered, “Not only would that be impossible, it would be sheer and utter madness. JP Morgan would never do anything as foolish as to prop up some industry again, unless there is a vast supply of cheap foreign investments. Mark my words young man, that would never happen.”

A cheer went up from the gaggle, and merriment. Sure, the country would be in a bind for quite awhile, but the absurdity of the junior executives comments gave them thanks that at least they were not that over a barrel.

Or wearing barrels, which would surely be the case.

Bonus:

Richard M. Salsman:

“As late as April 1942, U.S. stock prices were still 75% below their 1929 peak and would not revisit that level until November 1954-almost a quarter of a century later.”

Wow, so I thought ruling elite would let this die down in the news cycle and let JP Morgan absorb Bear Stearns in Q3 when no one was looking. I mean hell, the election hysteria should have made this bailout Section D news. Nopes, everyone in millionaire row realized the last days of the pig trough are in effect.

No matter who is elected next, even McCain, knows that the country cannot continue to sustain the whole scale looting by the ruling elite. So they are getting while the getting is good. Well, for them, not us.

JPMorgan Chase & Co (JPM.N) said on Sunday it would buy troubled rival Bear Stearns (BSC.N) for about $2 a share in an all-stock deal, and that the Federal Reserve would fund up to $30 billion of Bear Stearns’ less liquid assets.

Wow, we had a spare $30 billion lying around to save Bear Stearns’s ass? No one tell New Orleans! They might get the idea the government saves the ruling elite while the people are left to die on their roofs. Or that our government has been hijacked by Republican Socialist supplanting our democracy.

(emphasis added, bd)

And here comes the bailout! I freaking knew this was coming. I mean, all you had to do was watch the game tape from the Savings & Loans scandal. Nothing like socialism for the rich! Of course, when someone gets bailed out, someone has to pay. That person is you, me and your grandma.

As you have probably heard by now, the Fed and JP Morgan are coming to save their boys at Bear Sterns. I suspect JP Morgan will be owning Bear Sterns by Q3 of this year, but that’s a whole different matter. That’s private capital, they can do whatever the hell they want. The Fed, on the other hand, is public capital. Again, you, me and your grandmother are the backers of the Fed.

Of course the Fed is a private organization, so there is no accountability for the asshat moves they are making this week. Here is one of my favorite moves:

The borrowings from the Fed will be secured by collateral furnished by Bear Stearns, and the Fed, not J.P. Morgan, is bearing the risk of losses if that collateral falls in value.

Thats a pretty sweetheart deal for J.P. Morgan. So basically the Fed has let Bear Sterns swap their unholy securities backed by mortgages for safer Treasury bonds. What this means is that the Fed is now backing the US Dollar on said mortgages.

By fiat, our coinage is now backed by the defaulting loans across America. This has to be one of the stupidest ideas ever. I challenge anyone to find a historical model of where a country got out of a economic slump by devaluating their own money. History will not be kind on this move.

And the worst part is Bear Sterns is not a bank. Never has been a bank, never will be a bank. It is an investment house. So technically they cannot even use the Fed’s discount window to access yet another $200 billion dollars the Fed is injecting into the  money supply. They have to get JP Morgan to do that.

Wait, $200 Billoon new dollars in the system you say? Yes, last week, the Fed announced an industry-wide rescue package that would provide as much as $200 billion in loans to banks and investment houses and allow them to put up risky home-loan packages as collateral.

Again, our dollar is now being back by the home-loan meltdown. This is so stupid that the Swiss Franc caught the dollar today. The rest of the world has officially stopped all dollar buys, and all but refuses to even pick up the phone if Bear Sterns or other such cash strapped banks and investment houses are calling from America.

See, investment houses are like a dude with a black box. You are never allowed to see inside the black box, but the dude assures you there is quite a bit of loot in that box. Plus, if you put your loot in the magic black box, it will magically grow like they are magic beans. Of course, everyone needs to believe in the power of the black box for this to work.

If people no longer believe there is loot in the black box, they will stop putting money in said black box. If enough people lose faith quickly enough, the black box is complete worthless and the dude goes broke.

Bear Sterns is that dude right now.

The intervention by J.P. Morgan and the New York Fed shows Bear “didn’t have enough money to turn the lights on this morning,” said Carl Lantz, strategist at Credit Suisse. “And in a big picture sense, this isn’t that comforting.”

Wait, I remember this story!

Went something like this:

Bear Sterns is the Duke Brothers, except in reality we have Republican Socialism that keeps private enterprise from failing. If only the Duke Brothers lives in our fantasy world instead of the one Hollywood creates.

But in the world of Republican Socialism, the Duke Brothers are saved by you, me and your grandmother. And when you are paying $10 lb for chicken, you will have the Fed to think. And the Fed doesn’t get a crap about what you think, because they are a private organization.

And the first thing to solving the riddle of Republican Socialism is to make the Fed accountable to the people of these United States of America, and not the hedge fund row, and only to the hedge fund row.

Why the coinage of the US dollar is not under government control is probably one of the best kept secrets in America.

And as always, it has to do with money.

Bonus:

The entire wealth of the USA is also in a black box. The world has recently decided that our black box is pretty worthless. In effect, they have decided our dollar is pretty worthless.

What these means, as Republican Socialism fails, it exposes the ugly truth that the rich are only rich because they say they are rich. If you take away their black box, they would be eating out of dumpster by the end of the month.

Of course to distract the people from this inconvient truth, you better do something drastic. Especially when even Nobel Prize winners calling Republican Socialism a form of looting.

Something crazy, oh say, like attacking Babylon.