BURBANK, CA. At a press conference today from Beautiful Downtown Burbank, The Unknown Comic announced the formation of a Political Action Committee comprised of many of America’s foremost comics.

“Individually, we cannot endorse a candidate as we have each sworn to uphold the Comedicratic Oath to ridicule every politician equally. But as a group we can anonymously support Mike Huckabee, and therefore have formed The United Professional Comedians for Huckabee.   (U.P.C.HUCK)  

He’s a Godsend!”

As the cars roar into Pennsylvania, the cradle of liberty, it seems apparent that our citizens are staying off the streets, which may make scoring particularly difficult, even with this year’s rule changes.

To recap those revisions:

Women are still worth 10 points more than men in all age brackets, but teenagers now rack up 40 points, and toddlers under 12 now rate a big 70 points.

The big score: anyone, any sex, over 75 years old has been upped to 100 points.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

                                                  Who will come out alive?

         Current Democratic Capitulation for Future Votes

                                                 vs.

                           Republicanism Gone Wild  

 LONDON – Former England soccer manager Steve McClaren fought off tough competition from US President George W. Bush to win a dreaded “Foot in Mouth” award on Tuesday from the Plain English campaign.

 George W.Bush came in second for “All I can tell you is that when the governor calls, I answer his phone.”

 This quote came from W’s response to this question during the press conference following the California wildfires.

Q: Mr. President, a lot has been made about the contrast between this response and the Katrina response. Do you have any thoughts on that, and how you’re doing?

The winner of this year’s award was….

I’ve been living and working in China for 3 years now and thought you guys might like to learn some Chinese.

Lesson #1:

Chinese is very difficult

Let’s review now:

 Chinese is very difficult.

OK, you’re doing great!

Now, on to Lesson #2

Ain’t technology grand? I can sit here in China and zoom in on my son’s backyard in America with Google Earth.

Perhaps someday I will be able to watch my grandkids play in realtime.

The technology is here…now.  Our government uses it for National Security.  There is no doubt that it can (and probably has) serve our military well in Iraq and Afghanistan, our Intelligence community in many foreign lands and our scientists in tracking environmental information around the globe.

But what if someone wants to watch my grandkids running through the sprinkler in their underoos.

or…

Watch you as you read this post?

hat tip to Kosovian Bob Love

My headline is a paraphrase for the sake of brevity , so here’s the actual context and link..

Judith Dushku is a Mormon feminist and FORMER friend of Romney as well as a member of the same Mormon congregation in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

Judy Dushku: Then in 1994, when Romney was running for the Senate, he came out in favor of choice for women — which was surprising to me. I was pleased and called, asking to see him. I told him I suspected that we had our differences, but that maybe I could work with him if he’d come to a really good position on women and childbirth.

And he said – Yes, come to my office.

I went to his office and I congratulated him on taking a pro-choice position. And his response was – Well they told me in Salt Lake City I could take this position, and in fact I probably had to in order to win in a liberal state like Massachusetts.

Suzan Mazur: Who’s “THEY”?

Good question! Bad answer.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, you are about to see the Naked City…This story was not photographed in a studio…quite the contrary. The actors played out their roles in the streets and buildings of New York itself.”

note: Naked City, a crime drama that focused on the lives of the detectives of New York’s 65th Precinct, was voted “The Best Cop Show Ever” by New York City Policemen. It was first aired in 1958 and ran for 4 seasons and won 4 primetime emmies. This was the first network series to be filmed entirely in New York City.

I was on a stakeout in the 65th when the call came in. I was waiting in my squad car for the snitch with the big break I’d been waiting on. It was now or never, I had one chance to break this case wide open…

          FOR SALE BY OWNER

1 Gulfstream II Business Jet

$100 (1 hundred American dollars)OBO

Call Stephen Mike Adnan James 555-1212 Leave a message

Great deal eh? But the title work is a mess and it’s now a fixer upper after an unscheduled landing in Mexico and… oh, there’s a little problem of about 4 tons of cocaine on board.

This multi-million dollar aircraft was purchased for 100 bucks by 2 guys with no money from a dummy Brazilian corporation and previously belonged to an associate of……

As you may recall, my SeaMonkeys went missing.  I alerted the media and there was some initial interest… until they asked me if any of the SeaMonkeys were blond. I said that I didn’t know and they hung up.

I was devastated, but I pulled myself together. I ordered a Chia Pet (AS Seen On TV) to help me through the tough times. Unfortunately, after the green hair grew out, the damned thing looked like a drunken Bill Clinton after a St. Patrick’s Day Party gone wrong. Now I like Bill but it was too spooky having his head sitting there on my coffee table staring at me. So spooky in fact, I put it in the closet.

It was then that I noticed that the SeaMonkey Aquarium I had previously  abandoned in the dark closet had changed.

It was glowing….

It started innocently.  The Ponies were taking up too much space. 
I traded the larger ones in on Pygmy Ponies, but even then they were just too much for me to handle, so I gave them to my friends.

Portia and Ellen promised to take good care of them, so at least I don’t have to worry about that.

To fill the void in my life, I decided to collect Sea Monkeys. They’re small, they don’t eat much and according to the ad in the back of the comic book, they provide hours of entertainment. I could not resist.

Little did I realize what hell I would unleash….

Buhdy asked me to repost this essay, so here it is again.

Prior to Theravada Buddhism, the Burmese were animists who worshiped a series of nature spirits called Nats. The term Nat derives from the Pali-Sanskrit, natha, meaning lord or guardian.

There are 37 officially recognized Nats (inside Nats), each with its own history. The Nats are spirits of natural forces, such as water, wind, stones and trees and take many guises. All Nats are  ghosts or spirits of heroes.  There are many lesser nats (outside Nats) that are characterized as mischievous when they are disturbed.

…Some were martyrs, people who had been betrayed or had suffered a premature and frightful death. One had died of diarrhea and was reputed to inflict that on those who displeased him.

Regardless of their origins, they were easily disturbed, given to making a fuss when they were not treated with respect.

~Amy Tan, Saving Fish From Drowning, a novel combining Myanmar politics, Burmese superstition and spirituality, plus a touch of humor.