Category: Personal

i met a stranger today. a shop clerk in the netherlands. a black girl.  when i spoke in english to her, she stopped. and looked at me.

then she asked me if i was an american.

yes, i said.

she shook her head.

will you vote? she asked.

yes. i couldn’t help it. so i added…

and i’ll be voting for Obama

we looked at each other. in one of those moments.

and we high-fived it, laughing out loud.

bam!

she leaned over the counter

he’s, ah… um, half, um, black. and the other part, um, ah, is white.

and, um, ah maybe he can bring peace.

i was thunderstruck. and understood this:::

we have to become important to this black white stranger.

we have to become his obsession.

we have to give ourselves to him.

and expect. demand he do the same.

we have to give him something greater to lose.

than power. or money. or fame.

but whatever holds people like us, people here at DD

whatever holds us to this urgency to protect life

diversity, freedom

whatever it is that makes us care

we have to pass it onto this man who made a speech four years ago

and swept us away

now. it is our turn.

to sweep him away.

with our love for the very least among us.

the homeless. the hungry. the confused.

the apathetic. the aimless. and all creatures.

it’s our job. to capture his heart and loyalty.

and let him know we get it…  we all have to do it better,  if we want a better world.

we can reach him, this Barack Obama. if we want to.

we can bring him with us.

yes. shop girl. we can. have peace. if we want it so.

i really didn’t have time to write much. but i didn’t want anybody else to take this evening either. it is the last writing in the raw i’ll do from the states for a while, so even with a sparse essay, i think i’ll keep it for myself.

actually, it’s after 10pm as i start writing this. so it will be brief.

i’m packed. ready to go. exhausted. i’ll definitely blog from the airport tomorrow. i usually pay to get into the business lounge… for $45, you get fruit, cheese, coffee/tea, cookies, alcohol, tv, internet and a little desk from which you blog, and a comfy, quiet place to zone out for a few hours. premium wine/alcohol will cost you… hey Mu, might be one of the tips for your travel space.

okay. so that’s it.

well, and i’ll explain the title. just a bit.

getting on that plane tomorrow is amazing. there have been difficult times and yet, somehow, ej and i managed to hold onto to each other. over the phone. one-line e-mails. packages filled with small fetish items. a sense of humor. and well, we just get along. whenever i’m with him, by heart rate slows (unless you know…), i become very at ease. i smile a lot. i’m actually funny when i’m relaxed and not thinking about George Bush et al.

i sleep really well when i sleep with him. and when we get up, he has this funny little fresh face, squinty eyes and he’s smiling. maybe he looks a little like a baby bird or something. but it touches my heart. and it inspires me to get up and make coffee and cook breakfast.

we hold hands. we like the way each other smells. we think it’s funny when strangers fall down or break something in a store (but we don’t really want anybody to be really hurt). we love to go to museums. or find secret gardens. we like to wander in cities and towns. oh. and we both love madly medieval cathedrals and churches.

he likes to cook. i like to eat. he likes to complain. i like to sit, cross-legged, and listen and laugh at him and how he, in a very animated fashion, counts off each absurdity with his fingers.

i tell him everything has a shelf life. if we’re lucky, we’ll just die together, around 99 years old, in a plane crash or car accident. because i always see us together, old and beautiful. and i just know i’ll love him even more then… the two of us always walking, looking at the world together, my hand in the pocket of his old jacket.

this is one of those moments. when love wins.

or “What I Did on my Holiday Weekend”

I had an awesome time on the Mendocino Coast – about 140 miles north of San Francisco.  It was a special celebration in honor of  my brother-in-law’s 60th birthday.   My sister and her husband rented a 5 bedroom house on a bluff right next to the ocean.   The above picture is a view from the deck.   All of their close friends from the Bay Area came up as well as another couple from the Midwest.   It was kind of like The Big Chill meets Sideways.    

We celebrate a Monday off of work towards the end of May, well those of us that don’t work in Retail, Food Services or various other industries that are open 366 days a year (at least THIS Leap Year) and the name given to this holiday is Memorial Day.

Many people see the Memorial Day three-day weekend as the true beginning of the Summer season, even though by the calendar, true summer, which is marked by the longest day of the year, is nearly one month away on June 20th.

But what is Memorial Day, and what caused there to be a reason FOR a Memorial Day?  What memorial?  Join me for the history of Memorial Day.

From Wikipedia:

Memorial Day is a United States Federal Holiday that is observed on the last Monday of May (observed in 2008 on May 26). It was formerly known as Decoration Day. This holiday commemorates U.S. men and women who have died in military service to their country. It began first to honor Union soldiers who died during the American Civil War. After World War I, it was expanded to include those who died in any war or military action.

part I

i’m moving to The Netherlands on May 30 and won’t be around as much… due to a six hour time difference and settling into my new life.

next Thursday will likely be my last writing in the raw for a while. however, I intend to keep posting the Friday Pony Parties at 6ish… well, i will resume posting the ponies. i’ve been a bit distracted and out of any reasonable routine these last weeks.

so. nine months or thereabouts. absorbed in, with, about Docudharma. i have to tell you, i was shocked when buhdy asked me to join Docudharma as a contributing editor. i’m still not sure what prompted the invitation… but it has been the very best place for me over these many months. and it feels like i’ve known so many of you for years now… i love how the energy of friendship has surpassed time and space and 3d to find its way to me.

it has been thrilling to be immersed in your talents, encouraged by your brave hearts, sheltered by your kindness, and kept alive laughing by some of the wittiest, funniest people i’ve had the pleasure to know and love. And I am mostly kept sane absorbing the simple and honorable commitment of so many to do right by this living planet of ours.

i just thought you guys should know. how important you are. to me.

I’ve often imagined many in have been wondering why I care so much and have been so passionate in my support of New Orleans and the rest of the Gulf Region from afar, after having been to New Orleans but once, over 30 years ago. And how Hurricane Katrina and the federal flood have had such a tremendous, shattering impact on me though I witnessed them safe and dry far from the sea in central Illinois. And how not only could I be well-deservedly hard on BushCo, but even take Clinton and Obama to task for not paying enough attention to New Orleans and the rest of the Gulf Region. And why I feel so strongly about this I started the NOLA/Gulf Blogathons. I’ll go into that in more detail below the fold–but first I’ll tell you how 9/11 impacted me.

^{Please Note:  I first wrote this essay on my personal process of finding belief years ago.  It’s never static, it’s not perfect and I make no claim that it is so.  It just came out on paper one day and today, after my latest revisit, I decided to share it.  I’ve never let anyone see it before.  I do return to it ever so often, and it morphs as the moods see fit and my convictions allow.  It’s always in flux, just like our world at present…just like me.  This is the current version, though I wonder what it will sound like on the 5th of November?}

Peace.

At one point in the journey I found myself at the crossroads looking for answers.  Actually, I was desperate for them, and equally desperate for console.

You see, I live in this world, too.

A world where programmed waves of broadcast ignorance wash over me with clocklike regularity; this world where “faith-based” truths are bellowed nonsensically as answers to my cries for considerations for serious resolutions; this world where Science so fears to speak up and demand that it’s logic be heard that it will allow the teaching of that which to the very core of its belief it knows to be false; this world where our leaders believe that instilling us with the idea that fear in living life is our only avenue to a secure life, and so a joyful life; this world…

Somewhere in this world I felt there was a wise soul seeking to share wisdom…seeking a student…seeking me.

I found him at the crossroads (echo’s return: He stumbled over me at the crossroads).