Category: GLBT

Crossposted from GentillyGirl

Last week a 15-year old was murdered by a 14-year old in Oxnard, CA.. All of this was because the kid sometimes wore make-up, high heels and nail polish to school. The murderer is described as having a slight build and looking effeminate.

I wanted to write about this last week, but the tale brought up many issues from my Past… my teen years. Last night Betts and I talked for hours about that era in our lives, and finally I can start on this topic.

My teen years were a living Hell in SW Alabama. It didn’t help that my father was a Labor leader or that I had been raised to have my own viewpoint by my parents. Mom had just died, and my sibs and I had just spent the Summer in Houston with the aunts, uncles and our cousins being part of the South’s “Summer of Love”.

My hair was growing to my waist, puberty was hitting… I was one confused kid, ovaries and testicles operating, and my body looked femme (no boobs though). I was into music, literature, math, physics and history. I was a Gentle Freak who tutored kids, helped them along and worked full time as a fast-food manager. I bought my own car, paid room and board and lived an individual life. I was also scared shitless over anyone finding out about my other life.

I had been a school Quarterback: third string brought in for the first game of the season because the starter and the back-up were wiped out. I won the first three games of the season, and then quit because my body wasn’t large enough to face the defensive lines. (Dad insisted that I play sports, but he was the one that signed the paperwork to assign me as “male”.) That was never forgotten by the rednecks. I was also the Class Valedictorian.

Every month, I would carve out 3 or 4 days in which I didn’t have to show for work and no performances for our jazz-rock band. I’d pack and head to Panama City for a “Chelsea” weekend (my nom de plume back then). I’d book a hotel and just spend those days wandering around the place and just being myself. (Same as the Navy years later, but the location was Monterey)

The girl lived at least for a time every month.

Each and every day I had to live with oppression: it wasn’t about being “Gay”, but about being “Different”. The only reason I didn’t get bashed is because my mind and mouth were faster then that of the ogres that wanted to beat me to a pulp. I counted on others to speak out in support of me as friends.

And being beaten is a Hell-of-a-lot better than being executed, but it still wasn’t high on my list for life experiences.

Though my soul screams in pain for the slain 15 year old, my heart also aches for the effeminate boy who pulled the trigger. It’s obvious that Societal pressures created this action. Maybe he couldn’t deal with what is going on inside his psyche. Maybe he is Straight, but his appearance opened him up to all kinds of hassles over mis-identification. I don’t know.

Our Culture MUST GET OVER THIS CRAP! There are Gay boys, Lesbians, Trans folk and Queers. There are also Christians, Jews, Muslims, Pagans and atheists. There are men and women. Folks come in every shape, form and fashions. Same goes for skin color. We are all Human, and that’s the way it freakin’ is.

A young boy is facing many years in prison for a murder that came out of his conflicted sense of self (my interpretation), and another kid is dead. What a fucking damned waste.

When will we learn, and then just live?

What does it take to achieve a Human Culture?

My answer is to live and let live.  

I got over being angry many years ago…around the time that I stopped being depressed, I would suppose, but if there is anything I have learned in this life it is that depression is really not totally evident until after it ends.  I’ve relied on the analyses of my therapists.

Ralph and Kurt, two gay men I will love forever, did not agree with the depression diagnosis, except as how it might be true that the act of transition creates an induced state of depression.  And my MMPI evaluation pronounced me entirely sane.  I have papers.

My own belief is that the difficulty lies in the fact that in order to acknowledge who I was required a different world view, one which was totally at odds with the world I encountered in my off-line life.

That off-line existence became quite ugly when I came out in Conway, AR on September 30, 1992.  If a 15-year old boy can be murdered by a 14-year old boy in California in 2008 because he dressed effeminately, imagine what it was like to be a 44-year old being a known transsexual woman in Arkansas in 1992.  I decided at the time that I had a duty to do my best to ensure that nobody else should be treated like I was…ever.

That’s why I write.  What else can I do?  One uses the skills and talents which one has.

From GentillyGirl

Dear Sir or Ma’am,

I writing this because I’m part of a community, and an activist for, those who are continually forgotten or legislated against in this country. This community is called Transgendered. Yes, those of us who have Gender Identities that don’t match our Birth records.

What if they had a special week and nobody noticed?

Last week was No Name-Calling Week.  From all appearances, at least on the level of the blogs, there wasn’t much notice.  Name-calling is de rigeur.

Which raises a good question.  If adults demand their right to call people names as part of what they think is intelligent debate, why would we expect the children to behave any differently.

It would probably be prudent of me not to mention that fact.  I’ve never been accused of being prudent.

I think about the children.  Big surprise.  I’m a teacher.

Welcome to a (semi)weekly roundup of news related to the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and otherwise “Other” community.

• The New York Times reports on the worsening situation for queer Iraqis since the American invasion, which has allowed a sharp increase in religious fanaticism:  
  

  In 2005, Iraq’s most revered Shiite cleric, Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani, issued a fatwa, or religious decree, calling for gay men and lesbians to be killed in the “worst, most severe way.”

  He lifted it a year later, but neither that nor the recent ebb in violence has made Mohammed or his friends feel safe.

  The article covers the rollercoaster of social opinions on queer culture from 1990 through now, and is well worth the read.

• Good luck finding student housing if you’re transgender: Southern Utah University is denying a transgender student housing until he can provide a doctor’s note (literally!) verifying his gender, a requirement not exactly placed on its other housing applicants.  The University’s policy requires proof of full, complete transition; otherwise says the housing director, “Where they’re in the process [of gender transition] I have no place to put them.”  Meanwhile the prohibitive cost of gender reassignment surgery will likely keep the student, Kourt Osbourn, from meeting the University’s requirements.
• Accused of homosexual acts, Iranian Makwan Moloudzadeh was murdered in prison by guards earlier this month.  I’m not one to flare up in anger, but this is fucking barbaric.  In the meantime, the U.S. is still considering deportation of Iranian gays begging for amnesty… further proof that our own fundamentalists have more in common with Iran than they’d like to admit.

More below the fold…

Welcome to a weekly roundup of news related to the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and otherwise “Other” community.

Lots of good reading this week!

• December 1st was World AIDS Day, a reminder that the epidemic continues unabated through most of the world, new and expensive medicines notwithstanding.  Various activist groups, from the Stonewall Democrats and the National Black Justice Coalition used to the day to note the increasing lack of interest in AIDS activism, but the most stinging indictment came from Charles King, president and CEO of Housing Works (a group that targets HIV/AIDS and homelessness):
  

  The reality is that AIDS is no longer so much a gay disease in the United States as it is a disease of race and poverty.  And that brings to light a dirty secret about the organized and politically engaged gay community.  We are overwhelmingly white and reasonably well-off, and our movement is almost exclusively about rights for ourselves and people like us.

  Check out the whole speech if you get the chance. (h/t Doug Ireland)

• Uruguay prepares to legalize civil unions for unmarried couples regardless of gender.  This makes Uruguay the first Latin American country to pass equitable legal protections for both straight and gay couples, which puts them ahead of most of the United States.
• A gay Muslim activist outs himself at an international conference on HIV in Muslim countries… with surprising results:
  

  The following morning, the ulama [scholars] had a surprise.

  Conference spokesperson and IRW head of policy Willem van Eekelen read their collective statement, saying that although Islam does not accept homosexuality, Islamic leaders would try to help create an environment in which gay people could approach social workers and find help against AIDS without feeling unsafe.

  “This first time ever that a high-level religious forum has talked, acknowledged and accepted gays,” said AbualSameed.

  “This will open the door to talks with the Muslim gay community and help other gay Muslims to come out in a safer space.”

  Suhail AbualSameed, a Jordanian living in Canada, decided to out himself to counter the harsh language his colleagues used to describe homosexuals: including the old standbys “pervert” and “rapist”.

• The bureaucratic hell faced by immigrants gets an uglier twist in the case of Hassan Parhizkar, a middle-aged gay Iranian who faces deportation for being the victim of a scam artist.  Worse, Parhizkar’s sexuality guarantees him a hellish return to the country he fled in 1990 specifically because he was outed while a member of the Revolutionary Guard.  Gay City News has the entire story, from Parhizkar’s noncompliance with immigration law due to a con-man posing as an immigration lawyer to the practice of gay witch hunts in the Iranian military.  

  You can also sign an online petition protesting Parhizkar’s impending deportation or contribute to his legal fund (see link above for full details).

More below…

Greetings, literature-loving Dharmenians!  Last time we met over the wreckage of the Civil War and acid humor of one of its most famous veterans.  This week we’ll stay in the United States, but jump ahead a few generations to an almost-forgotten writer who merits a closer look.

After World War I, black soldiers returning from the front were disgusted by the treatment they received from countrymen they’d fought and died defending.  At the same time, black intellectuals like W.E.B DuBois and Alain Locke began to envision a cultural project that would elevate the African American experience in the eyes of its otherwise cultural oppressors, while political activists like Marcus Garvey brought pan-Africanism to the streets of New York.  Throw in a sudden burst of artistic imagination and some seriously talented writers, and you’ve got all the ingredients for the Harlem Renaissance.  

Today we’re going to talk about one of its most fascinating personalities.  

Welcome to a weekly roundup of news related to the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and otherwise ‘Other’ community.

Quickie roundup this week since I’m out of town for Turkey Day:

• German scientist invents spray-on condoms
• Bush administration seeks stricter travel bans on people who are HIV+
• Yesterday, November 20th, was National Transgender Day of Remembrance.  One of the main reasons for the day is a candlelight vigil remembering victims of anti-trans violence
• A Pennsylvania state court has struck down the law expanding hate crimes coverage based on gender or sexuality.  (h/t Pam’s House Blend)
  

  Repent America founder and leader Michael Marcavage and others affiliated with the group argued that the amendment was passed unconstitutionally because it was inserted into legislation that was originally a bill concerning agricultural vandalism and crop destruction.

  “Repent America”???

• The nation of Hungary is planning to pass legislation creating domestic partnership rights for unmarried couples, both same sex and otherwise. (h/t Box Turtle Bulletin).   Just don’t tell NBC’s Brian Williams, who believes that marriage is under attack!

That’s all from me, folks: have a safe and happy holiday tomorrow, and I’ll see everyone when I get back!

Welcome to a weekly roundup of news related to the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, and otherwise “other” community.

• Civil Unions are not equal to Marriage.  That’s the finding of a recent commission on New Jersey’s attempt to give same-sex couples full and equal partnership under the law while appeasing those who cringe at the expansion of the word “marriage”.  From a New York Times editorial:
  

  It is hardly a surprise that New Jersey’s civil union law is not working very well. During the past several weeks, dozens of same-sex couples have testified that the law has not provided the equal benefits that were promised when it passed.

  Now, the special commission that heard the testimony has made it official: the civil union law has been a “failure.” Frank Vespa-Papaleo, who is chairman of the commission as well as the state’s director of civil rights, said the law is not as effective “as if the word ‘marriage’ were used.”

  I don’t know if I’d call it a resounding “failure” if only a few private employers are dodging the law (most couples will still get benefits, and the state recognizes them as full and equal), but there’s no doubt that separate-but-equal status will always encourage dissenters to focus on the “separate” instead of the “equal”.

• Speaking of which, laws that specifically invoke “married couples” are often cynical ways of passing anti-gay legislation without having to wear one’s bigotry on one’s sleeve.  Throw in an extra phrase like “for the good of the children”, and you have toxic legislation like the Arkansas ballot initiative to outlaw adoption and foster parenting … except for married couples.  It’s for the good of the children, of course.  (n/t Mombian)  A nice touch: the Arkansas News Bureau calls it what it is: a gay adoption ban.
• Terrance at the Republic of T has dedicated this round of installments of his excellent Hate Crimes Project to anti-trans violence.  Today’s focuses on the murder of Thalia Mosqueda, a trans woman whose murderer argued that he was disgusted by her alleged advances because “he wasn’t gay”:
  

  Panic is a strange thing. We know all about “gay panic,” but what about “trans panic,” which seems to be at the root of so many anti-trans hate crimes like the murders of Bella Evangelista, Emonie Spaulding, Ukea Davis & Stephanie Thomas, and Nireah Johnson, just to name a few?

  Well-worth reading the whole series.

In the past few days my mind has been on the Mental Wayback Machine a few times.  I seem to always end up in the same places.

When I made the conscious decision to not end my life, I had to find a purpose in life beyond just existing.  I latched on to a statement I heard from my boss when I refused to resign For The Good of the Team.™

How does one respond to that?  What was I supposed to say?  Was I supposed to point out that no openly gay or lesbian faculty member at the University of Central Arkansas had ever been granted tenure?  Or was I just supposed to accept that assertion that being gay would be an improvement in my life?

The last month has not been a good one for the loose confederacy of interests usually filed under progressive causes.  First, LGBT activists nearly devoured themselves over the proposed changes to the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), in a struggle that challenged the commitment of ostensibly queer activists to the T part of the acronym and eventually resulted in public resignations from the nation’s most powerful LGBT lobby.  Second, the Obama campaign’s ill-advised decision to launch a gospel tour with publicly outspoken anti-gay singers led to a series of campaign flubs, bitter exchanges, and an epic flameout on Daily Kos that really has to be read to be believed. 

Though I don’t doubt the general commitment of everyone involved to the same umbrella set of goals, the fissures and lack of well-articulated overlap between interest groups has the potential – especially when lacking a strong central figure to act as leader – to turn nasty.  That’s exactly what happened this past month, and I want to perform a brief autopsy to show where things went wrong, and whether it’s possible to avoid these kinds of explosions in the future.  Spoiler alert: I really don’t think so.

They came from different places . . . different as much in how they lived their lives as in where they lived them.

Debbie’s cousin, Laurie, cancer survivor, came from Hesperia, CA.  Better here than in fire country.  And Debbie’s twin brother Jim, a lawyer, and his new bride Nooshin came from near the La Brea tar pits.  So there was some tension about back home.

Robyn was supremely thrilled that people came from Oregon.  Her sister Jan, a cardiologist from Corvallis, and Jan’s son Ian, newly graduated from Santa Clara and embarking on an internship in PR with the University of Washington athletic department, and Robyn would see each other for the first time since 1993.  They were all younger back then.  We were pretty much different people on that occasion.

And there were some amazing women and men, who happen to be friends, who had been invited.  There could be . . . and will be . . . a paragraph (and more) written about each and everyone of them of them, but not here, and not now.  These people were Debbie’s and Robyn’s colleagues at Bloomfield College, their family at this time in our lives, their new cousins and brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews.  And there were a couple of students, one of who was taking the ‘official’ photos (which have not been received yet, but which will be shown when they become available), witnesses from another viewpoint…another world.  And they brought with them children from still another. 

Learning was going to take place.