I had…or am having (it’s hard to tell sometimes)…a disagreement with someone which turned out to center mostly on our disagreement about the meanings of the words “selfish” and “egocentric.”
I believe that words come with denotations and connotations and that if our sets of either of these differ, we will have different interpretations of the words. Because of this, all human communication is, in part, a negotiation.
The person with whom I was (or am) conversing believed that the dictionary rules. I’ve never cared for that view because I don’t believe the language is dead, that words change meaning over time and even the best dictionaries are therefore mostly out of date.
Besides, I’m a mathematician at heart. When we define words, they mean what we say they mean, no more and no less. Of course, Charles Dodgson (aka Lewis Carroll) was a mathematician:
‘When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said, in a rather scornful tone,’ it means just what I choose it to mean, neither more nor less.’
‘The question is,’ said Alice, ‘whether you can make words mean so many different things.’
‘The question is,’ said Humpty Dumpty, ‘which is to be master – that’s all.’