Late Night Today

Late Night Today is for our readers who can’t stay awake to watch the shows. Everyone deserves a good laugh.

The Amber Ruffin Show

Trump’s Impeachment Trial & Congress’ Black Patriotism Fight: Week In Review

On Friday, Burgess Owens, a pro-Trump Republican Congressman from Utah, addressed the House of Representatives. He made a speech defending a motion to recite the Pledge of Allegiance during all House Judiciary Committee meetings. He did this after recently voting to overturn the presidential election. The speech was very sad. He talked about things like athletes needing to stand for the flag, and how Black people used to be patriots, but now we have lost that. And then, when he was done talking, Congressman Hakeem Jeffries destroyed him worse than a Mortal Kombat fatality.

What if Donald Trump Had Never Been Born?

Trump isn’t the president anymore, so Amber thinks we shouldn’t have to keep thinking about him. He’s gonna be popping up in the news forever and ever until either he dies or we do. It’s so frustrating… but what if Donald Trump had never been born?

Uncovering Lost Comedy Pitches from the 1950s

Do you wanna see something really cool? The other day, Amber was looking for a wig in a storage closet here at 30 Rock, and she stumbled upon something really interesting. It’s a journal—but not just any journal. This belonged to *the* Morty Swanson! Many of you may not know this, but Morty Swanson was this genius comedy writer who used to work for NBC back in the ‘50s. His pitches were said to be the most ground-breaking, side-splitting bits that anyone had ever heard. But here’s the crazy part: he went missing in the halls of 30 Rock. As the legend goes, one day, he went to get lunch at the commissary and was *never heard from again.* We gotta check out this book of pitches!

Writing Spirituals for Modern-Day Malaise

The other day, Amber was feeling particularly weary. So, she started humming a spiritual, as one does when feeling weary. And she thought, “Wow, I wish there were some modern-day spirituals that reflect our current times.” So, she wrote some and recorded them onto an album! Introducing: “Now That’s What I Call Spirituals 2021”—57 tracks that contain the soul of the past, but the trauma of today.

Health and Fitness News

Health and Fitness News Welcome to the Stars Hollow Gazette‘s Health and Fitness News weekly diary. It will publish on Saturday afternoon and be open for discussion about health related issues including diet, exercise, health and health care issues, as well as, tips on what you can do when there is a medical emergency. Also an opportunity to share and exchange your favorite healthy recipes.

Questions are encouraged and I will answer to the best of my ability. If I can’t, I will try to steer you in the right direction. Naturally, I cannot give individual medical advice for personal health issues. I can give you information about medical conditions and the current treatments available.

You can now find past Health and Fitness News diaries here.

Follow us on Twitter @StarsHollowGzt

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What To Cook

 

Salmon appetizer | Jacques Pépin Cooking At Home

Jacques Pépin shares another no-fuss appetizer idea for your next dinner party. To make this gravlax plate, cut 1 – 2 oz of salmon into thin slices. Sprinkle a generous amount of salt and pepper on a serving plate and place the salmon slices on top, adding more salt and pepper to finish. Cover the dish in plastic wrap and refrigerate until it’s time to add the garnish of your choice and serve. Jacques uses capers, onion, scallion, and basil here. Serve with bread.

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Cartnoon

Valentine’s Day is celebrated in the United States and around the world on Sunday when lovers and sweethearts exchange gifts of jewelry, flowers, cards and chocolates. The day is also a Christian holiday that honors Saint Valentine, who is actually three Christian martyrs.

One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine’s actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death. Still others insist that it was Saint Valentine of Terni, a bishop, who was the true namesake of the holiday. He, too, was beheaded by Claudius II outside Rome.

Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons, where they were often beaten and tortured. According to one legend, an imprisoned Valentine actually sent the first “valentine” greeting himself after he fell in love with a young girl—possibly his jailor’s daughter—who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter signed “From your Valentine,” an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories all emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic and—most importantly—romantic figure.

The celebration may also have been created by the Church to counter the Pagan holiday, Lupercalia, an ancient pagan festival held each year in Rome on February 15, honoring the she-wolf who nurtured the twin founders of Rome, Romulus and Remus.

War, Madness, and the First Valentine

The story of the first valentine is a thrilling story with a mad king, one of history’s most climatic battles, and poetry. It is a complex tale that involves two great kingdoms and all the machinations of a royal court. Part Shakespeare, part Game of Thrones, all history that deserves to be remembered.

TMC for ek hornbeck

Impeachment 2° Day 5: Final Arguments – Maybe

Yesterday the lawyers for private citizen Trump began and rested their case in a quarter of the time allotted. The Senators then submitted a round of written questions to the House managers and defense attorneys. It seems that the defense lawyers don’t understand how impeachment works, it’s not a criminal or even a civil case, it is strictly a political one. The lawyers also refused to answer questions and resorted to outright lying.

So far, no witnesses have been called but that may change. Last night the news broke that House minority leader Kevin McCarthy had a very heated phone call with Trump over Trump’s refusal to calling out the National Guard and his siding with the rioters.

The Breakfast Club (Institutional)

Welcome to The Breakfast Club! We’re a disorganized group of rebel lefties who hang out and chat if and when we’re not too hungover we’ve been bailed out we’re not too exhausted from last night’s (CENSORED) the caffeine kicks in. Join us every weekday morning at 9am (ET) and weekend morning at 10:00am (ET) (or whenever we get around to it) to talk about current news and our boring lives and to make fun of LaEscapee! If we are ever running late, it’s PhilJD’s fault.

This Day in History

Bruno Richard Hauptmann convicted in the Lindbergh baby kidnap-murder; The World War II bombing of Dresden begins; Konstantin Chernenko becomes Soviet leader; Peter Gabriel born; Waylon Jennings dies.

Breakfast Tunes

Something to Think about over Coffee Prozac

When white supremacy becomes institutional, it begins to harm the very people who are not simply outside of it because of their race, it begins to harm the folk who look like the folk who want to be in charge. Martin Luther King, Jr., understood this, Malcolm X understood this, James Baldwin really understood this.

Michael Eric Dyson

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Late Night Today

Late Night Today is for our readers who can’t stay awake to watch the shows. Everyone deserves a good laugh. After today, we certainly need one.

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

It’s the song all the sailors will be singin’.

Republicans Tune Out Damning Evidence As House Managers Warn That Acquittal Would Have Consequences

House impeachment managers closed their case on Thursday with more incredibly damning evidence tying the former president directly to the deadly attack on the Capitol, and warned Senators of dire consequences should they vote to acquit.

Quarantinewhile… Tom Brady Is The GOAT Of Super Bowl Partying

Quarantinewhile… Not only did Buccaneers quarterback and 7-time Super Bowl champion Tom Brady successfully toss the Lombardi trophy from one boat to another during the team’s victory parade, he did it with a championship-level buzz on.

First Drafts: Valentine’s Day 2021 feat. Evie Colbert

The amazing Evie Colbert returns to A Late Show for this very special Valentine’s Day edition of everyone’s favorite greeting card-related segment, First Drafts.

The Daily Show with Trevor Noah

Impeachment Day 3: Unseen Riot Footage & Apathetic GOP Senators

As the impeachment trial continues, Democrats show never-before-seen footage of the riots, Trump supporters themselves are providing evidence of his guilt, and Republican senators couldn’t care less

A Vaccine Loophole, A New Lunch Rule & An Island Rescue

Massachusetts will now vaccinate you if you accompany an elderly person, France allows employees to eat at their desks, and the U.S. Coast Guard rescues three people who had been stranded for 33 days on an island in the Bahamas.

Jordan Klepper Asks Trump Supporters: Impeachment v1 or v2?

Jordan Klepper heads back to Washington, D.C. to see how Trump supporters, district residents and Democratic senators are handling Donald Trump’s second impeachment. #DailyShow​

Late Night with Seth Meyers

GOP Senators Warned About Trump’s Violence – Now They’re Ignoring It: A Closer Look

Seth takes a closer look at the House impeachment managers presenting a damning and powerful case against former President Donald Trump this week, and still Republicans have made clear they just don’t care.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Jimmy Kimmel Breaks Down Path to a Trump Conviction

It’s day three of Donald Trump’s second impeachment trial and Jimmy breaks down the longshot path to convicting him, FOX News turning up the faux outrage button, people who were at the Capitol riots incriminating themselves on social media, 18% of Americans who have heard of QAnon believing their claims are somewhat accurate, the theory that Trump will be reinaugurated on March 4th, an $8,000 Louis Vuitton sweater that is covered in puppets, a special Valentine’s Day gift idea for that special something in your life, we embark into the weekend of love with a new edition of Masking Questions, and This Week in Unnecessary Censorship.

The Late Late Show with James Corden

Cupid Has Hit Rock Bottom

James tries to lighten the mood ahead of Valentine’s Day by welcoming Cupid to the studio for some music and the spread of love. After Cupid gets off to a beautiful start, it becomes clear it’s been a long year for Cupid after his beloved Gloria found a new cherub to cuddle up with

Will Trump’s Words Haunt Him? (Probably Not)

James kicks off the show checking in with the Late Late Show team to see what they’re up to for Valentine’s Day before breaking down another day of impeachment proceedings for Donald Trump. After, the group begins to plan a big trip to Las Vegas once it’s safe. And a chicken strip takes the studio by storm.

Pondering the Pundits

Pondering the Pundits” is an Open Thread. It is a selection of editorials and opinions from around the news media and the internet blogs. The intent is to provide a forum for your reactions and opinions, not just to the opinions presented, but to what ever you find important.

Thanks to ek hornbeck, click on the link and you can access all the past “Pondering the Pundits”.

Follow us on Twitter @StarsHollowGzt

Paul Krugman: Biden Is the Big Spender America Wants

His economic plans are overwhelmingly popular.

The state of U.S. politics is horrifying.

A sustained campaign of lies on right-wing media — echoed by nearly half of the Republican senators — has convinced almost two-thirds of Republicans that the presidential election was somehow stolen. These lies set the stage for the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol; but a great majority of Republican senators appear set to acquit Donald Trump for his undeniable role in promoting that attack.

Yet President Biden’s plans to rescue the economy command overwhelming, bipartisan support.

My sense is that the remarkably strong public consensus in favor of Bidenomics has largely flown under the radar. To be sure, I’m not saying that the surprising unity among voters (but not politicians) on economic policy compensates for the terrifying fact that one of our two major parties no longer accepts the legitimacy of elections it loses. But it’s still important for America’s future. [..]

This broad public support for Biden’s signature economic policy is stunning given the depth of our political divisions. It’s also very different from what we saw in the early months of the Obama administration, during the Great Recession.

Biden has somewhat lower overall approval and much higher disapproval ratings than Barack Obama did at this point in his presidency. But Obama’s personal popularity didn’t translate into strong support for his stimulus plan, which only a narrow majority supported. Why is this time different? I’d suggest three reasons.

Charles M. Blow: What Do ‘Right’ and ‘Wrong’ Mean to the G.O.P.?

These politicians are still bowing to their alpha — Trump.

It cannot be said often enough: The first rule of politics is survival.

This is a sad but pervading truth. We like to think that politicians are driven above all else by a sense of public service, a fundamental belief in the efficacy of government and in the defense of democracy.

Surely that is true of some. But we are ever reminded that too many elected officials’ primary impulse is the pursuit, acquisition and maintenance of power. Power is the politicians’ profession. So just like a pack of animals, they willingly, gleefully subjugate themselves to the one among them with the most power.

We see that playing out before our eyes in the second impeachment trial of Donald Trump for inciting an insurrection, a high crime of which he is clearly guilty.

All but six Republican senators voted that the trial itself was unconstitutional, even though constitutional scholars overwhelmingly disagree.

These politicians are still bowing to their alpha — Trump. In the early days of Trump’s presidency, Republicans in Congress either cozied up to him or sat in silence as his demagogy ensnared and entranced the Republican base.

Amanda Marcotte: House Democrats make their case to Senate Republicans: Trump duped his rioters — and he’ll dump you

Trump impeachment trial, day 3: House managers remind Senate Republicans that Trump will never repay their loyalty

“His directive is Trump first,” House impeachment manager and Democratic Rep. David Cicilline of Rhode Island reminded the Senate during the second day of arguments in support of the singular article of impeachment filed against the former president. It’s a crucial takeaway that should be heeded by the Senate Republicans who plan to acquit Trump, caring not one bit about the overwhelming evidence of his guilt in inciting an insurrection on January 6. Senate Republicans are putting their loyalty to and fear of the sociopathic man-child from Mar-A-Lago over their patriotism and basic sense of decency. But as Cicilline pointed out, no matter what you do for Trump, no matter how much you debase yourself for Trump, no matter what risks you take for Trump, he will not hesitate to throw you under the bus.

The impeachment trial of Donald Trump has been overshadowed by the fact that the majority of Senate Republicans plan to acquit Trump. So the only real question is whether or not the House Democrats who are arguing the case against Trump can maximally expose the cowardice and complicity of the Republicans. [..]

But ultimately, the real question isn’t whether Trump is guilty. Everyone knows he is. The only question is whether Senate Republicans want to be complicit with an insurrection that directly threatened their own lives. Presumably, they think they’re playing 11th-level chess and will get some political advantage out of it. But in the end, they’re no better than the morons who stormed the Capitol because Trump told them it was “allowed.” And if they believe otherwise, it’s because Trump has successfully exploited their own overblown egos against them — as he does to all of his marks.

Karen Tumulty: I was skeptical of Democrats pursuing a second impeachment. I was wrong.

House managers have laid out a devastating case, for Americans and for history.

I am not generally a fan of futility, which is why I was skeptical about the wisdom of congressional Democrats pursuing a second impeachment and post-presidential conviction of Donald Trump.

The ending of this unprecedented exercise was written before it even began: Once again, Trump would be acquitted by the Senate, where fewer than the requisite 67 would vote to convict him. And once again, it would be safe to predict that the 45th president will claim this is some sort of exoneration.

It seemed smarter, and politically safer, to punish Trump some other way — perhaps with a censure, which would require only a majority.

But having watched what has unfolded this week in the Senate chamber — a scene of the crime — I now realize I was wrong.

The House managers have laid out a devastating case, for the American public and for history. They are making clear not only Trump’s culpability but the complicity of the Republican hierarchy that enabled him and the murderous, self-styled “patriots” who took up his call for insurrection.

Moira Donegan: Framing Britney Spears exposes the contradictions of American womanhood

The documentary makes it clear Britney Spears had a real enthusiasm for performing – and that any woman who became that famous would have been treated that badly

t’s something that would not have happened to a man in America,” a blond fan says in the opening moments of Framing Britney Spears, a New York Times documentary about Britney Spears. The woman is talking about Spears’ conservatorship, an elaborate legal arrangement, in place since 2009, in which the singer has been declared unfit to manage her own affairs. The conservatorship means that Spears’ life – and her money – are largely under the control of her father, Jamie Spears, who has been appointed conservator by the court. That arrangement has come under scrutiny as fans speculate that Spears’ independence has been needlessly curtailed by a greedy father and a misogynist court system, and that the singer has been trapped in a literal, court-ordained patriarchy. Spears herself has petitioned for the court appoint a different conservator, saying that she is afraid of her father.

But really, the fan could be discussing any aspect of Britney Spears’ career. The documentary, nominally pegged to the conservatorship legal battle that has been brewing since 2019, is really an account of Spears’ career, and how she became a symbol for and victim of the media’s misogyny. The film follows Spears from her origins as a talented child in small-town Louisiana, through the height of her fame as a teen pop sensation, and into the mental health crises, legal troubles and slow recovery that have followed. On the way, it confronts an American public all too eager to make a young girl into a symbol for all of its anxieties about sex and womanhood at the dawn of the 21st century.

Cartnoon

Full Frontal with Samantha Bee

The Fight For A $15 Minimum Wage

The fight for a $15 minimum wage has been a long one, but the efforts of minimum wage workers have been paying off! Now if only conservatives would go on their lunch break long enough for President Biden to make $15 the national standard.

The Racist Past (And Present!) Of Greek Life

Just because there isn’t a Kappa Kappa Kappa chapter, doesn’t mean they didn’t want one! The entire Greek life system was born from white supremacist ideals and it’s about time colleges addressed this.

The Treatment of Peaceful Protesters vs. Violent Insurrectionists

Peaceful protest isn’t a crime! But if you’re protesting inhumane policies or the gutting of Medicaid at the Capitol, prepare to be treated like a criminal. Sam sat down with activists who’ve been arrested at the Capitol and plot twist: none of them are insurrectionists.

Be More Like Jimmy Smits (as Dr. Fauci) and Wear a Mask!

Dr. Fauci sits down with Sam to explain some of the amazing side effects that come with wearing a mask, washing your hands, and staying home. WARNING: side effects may include increased vocal range, heightened suavity, and developing a striking resemblance to Jimmy Smits.

TMC for ek hornbeck

Impeachment 2° Day 4: The Defense Begins

Yesterday, House Impeachment managers rested their case after just slightly more than four hours of very methodical closing remarks. Representative Jamie Raskin (D-MD), lead manager, was the last to speak closing his statement with a quote from Thomas Paine offering Republicans a chance to be “Winter Soldiers”:

Tom Paine wasn’t an American, but he came to help us in our great revolutionary struggle against the kings, and queens, and the tyrants. In 1776, in the crisis, he wrote these beautiful words, it was a very tough time for the country, people didn’t know which way things were going to go. Were we going to win, against all hope? Because for most of the rest of human history, it had been the kings and queens and tyrants and nobles lording it over the common people. Could political self-government work in America, was the question.

And Paine wrote this pamphlet called “The Crisis,” and he said these beautiful words…He said, “These are the times that men and women’s souls. The summer soldier and sunshine patriot will shrink at this moment from the service of their cause and their country, but everyone who stands with us now will win the love and favor and affection of every man and every woman for all time. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered, but we have this saving consolation: the more difficult the struggle, the more glorious in the end will be our victory.

Good luck in your deliberations.

Heather Digby Parton has the highlights of the days closing arguments

Today the private citizen Donald Trump’s lawyers will have their chance to defend their client against the massive amount of evidence presented by the managers.

I don’t believe for a second that there will be seventeen Republicans to vote to convict Trump but this needed to be done. Even if Trump get away with this, his problems are far from over. Some prosecutors believe that the Democrats have paved the way for Trump’s criminal prosecution in the courts. In Georgia, the Fulton County district attorney has opened a criminal investigation into Trump’s attempt to overturn the Georgia election. Visions of Trump in a Georgia County jail are dancing in Charlie Pierce’s head. Don’t forget New York State and New York City’s Manhattan DA, they are only just starting looking into Trump’s real estate fraud and tax evasion.

It’s expected that the defense lawyers won’t need the full two day sixteen hours to lay out their case. It’s quite possible they could rest sometime this afternoon. After that, Senators will have the opportunity to submit written questions to both sides.

The Breakfast Club (Rightful Masters)

Welcome to The Breakfast Club! We’re a disorganized group of rebel lefties who hang out and chat if and when we’re not too hungover we’ve been bailed out we’re not too exhausted from last night’s (CENSORED) the caffeine kicks in. Join us every weekday morning at 9am (ET) and weekend morning at 10:00am (ET) (or whenever we get around to it) to talk about current news and our boring lives and to make fun of LaEscapee! If we are ever running late, it’s PhilJD’s fault.

This Day in History

President Abraham Lincoln and naturalist Charles Darwin born; The U.S. Senate acquits President Bill Clinton in his impeachment trial; Founding of the NAACP; Cartoonist Charles Schulz dies.

Breakfast Tunes

Something to Think about over Coffee Prozac

We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution.

Abraham Lincoln

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Late Night Today

Late Night Today is for our readers who can’t stay awake to watch the shows. Everyone deserves a good laugh.

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

You Do Not Want Bruce Castor Defending You In Court

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury… what was I talking about again?

New Video Of Capitol Riot Reveals Shocking Violence And Emotional Pleas For Help

The videos presented by House managers on day two of the impeachment trial came with trigger warnings for those watching at home, due to the extreme violence on display inside the deadly attack on the U.S. Capitol.

Even The Cat Lawyer Would Be A Better Impeachment Advocate Than Bruce Castor

Republicans were harshly critical of the disorganized opening arguments by the former president’s impeachment lawyers, making it clear that he could use better representation.

The Daily Show with Trevor Noah

Impeachment Trial Continues: Trump and GOP Slam Trump’s Lawyers

Donald Trump’s second impeachment trial ramps up with the GOP bashing Trump’s lawyers and Trump reportedly yelling at the TV as he watched.

Florida Water Gets Hacked & New Zealand Parliament Demands Ties

A hacker almost pollutes the entire water supply of a Florida county, and a member of New Zealand parliament is ejected because he isn’t wearing a tie.

Mark Cuban and the NBA Beef Over the National Anthem

The Dallas Mavericks stop playing the national anthem before games, and Trevor goes on “Shark Tank” to pitch a new national anthem to Mark Cuban.

CP Time: The History of Black Spies

In another edition of CP Time, Roy Wood Jr. looks at Black Americans’ involvement in espionage, including Harriet Tubman and Josephine Baker.

Late Night with Seth Meyers

Trump’s Impeachment Trial Opens with Capitol Riots Footage

Trump’s Impeachment Lawyers Are Very Bad: A Closer Look

Seth takes a closer look at Senate Republicans sticking with former President Donald Trump in his second impeachment trial despite the House impeachment managers’ powerful evidence and the fact that Trump’s lawyers are very bad.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Jimmy Kimmel Breaks Down Path to a Trump Conviction

It’s day three of Donald Trump’s second impeachment trial and Jimmy breaks down the longshot path to convicting him, FOX News turning up the faux outrage button, people who were at the Capitol riots incriminating themselves on social media, 18% of Americans who have heard of QAnon believing their claims are somewhat accurate, the theory that Trump will be reinaugurated on March 4th, an $8,000 Louis Vuitton sweater that is covered in puppets, a special Valentine’s Day gift idea for that special something in your life, we embark into the weekend of love with a new edition of Masking Questions, and This Week in Unnecessary Censorship.

The Late Late Show with James Corden

Does Trump Need the Cat Lawyer?

James Corden kicks off the night with some gratitude for the show’s camera operators who added a little more than a pop of color after James suggested it the other night. After, James looks at the headlines, including a lawyer who unfortunately didn’t know how to take off a cat filter during a court proceeding and more from the second impeachment trial of Donald Trump.

Cartnoon

“A Bold Thing To Do During A Pandemic” – John Oliver On The Super Bowl

The host of “Last Week Tonight,” John Oliver, says he enjoyed watching the Super Bowl until he realized that he is the same age as Tom Brady. Season eight of “Last Week Tonight” starts Sunday, February 14th.

John Oliver: HBO Will Never Find Out How Much All The “Last Week Tonight” Mascots Cost

John Oliver says they no longer keep the very expensive mascots from “Last Week Tonight” in a closet at the office because too many children were terrified when they stumbled on the headless costumes.

John Oliver Took The “Which Muppet Are You?” Quiz And We Gave Him The Results

Which Muppet would John Oliver be if he could live in the world of Jim Henson? We made the “Last Week Tonight” host take a Buzzfeed quiz to find out, and let’s just say he’s not a Rowlf.

TMC for ek hornbeck

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