I thought we could all use a bit of a pick-me-up, so here’s some entertaining quotes. The following are personal ads compiled by the editors of America’s Best Non-Essential Writing 2007. I find these both to be funny as hell, and also rather insightful into the romantic lives of people today.
American Man, 57. I just want a girlfriend. What the hell is going on here?
Angry trollop, 37. Offers?
Meet the new me. Like the old me, only less nice after three months without any sexual intercourse. 42 year old fruitcake (F).
Nihilist seeks nothing.
Woman, 43, would like to meet a man – any man – whose evolutionary path isn’t that of Homer Simpson. Suspecting that’s too difficult, I may go lesbian.
Hello girls of Mumbai and beyond! I am looking for an obnoxious girlfriend of one week to restore my glee in being single.
I want you to give all these chiefs of the soldiers here to understand that we are for peace, and that we have made peace, that we may not be mistaken by them for enemies.
A Cheyenne cemetery is in the same direction as where my mother told me she watched gypsies camp through her west window as a girl, about ½ mile from that house. I have reverently walked though that Cheyenne cemetery as early as ten, looking at the headstones and wondering who they were and where they came from. I did not know then, that in that cemetery were descendants from the Sand Creek Massacre.
Simultaneously, Roman Nose led the Dog Soldiers in battle while Black Kettle strove for peace. Chief Black Kettle was promised complete safety by Colonel Greenwood as long as he rose the U.S flag above him.(1) Black Kettle persisted in his calls for peace in spite of the continuing exterminations and the shooting of Lean Bear.
Lean Bear, a leading peacemaker who had previously met with President Abraham Lincoln in Washington, D.C., was shot from his horse without warning by U.S. troops during a Kansas buffalo hunt. The troops were acting under orders from Colonel John M. Chivington who commanded the military district of Colorado: “Find Indians wherever you can and kill them” (The War of the Rebellion, 1880-1881, pp. 403-404).
Perplexed by the continuing genocide, Black Kettle sent for Little White Man, known as William Bent.Almost prophetic, both agreed in their meeting that a war was about to be born if nothing changed. Black Kettle’s peaceful attempts tragically failed, even though he took his people to Sand Creek, fully expecting peace.His last effort for peace was raising the U.S. flag just prior to the massacre.
“…Though no treaties were signed, the Indians believed that by reporting and camping near army posts, they would be declaring peace and accepting sanctuary.
However on the day of the “peace talks” Chivington received a telegram from General Samuel Curtis (his superior officer) informing him that “I want no peace till the Indians suffer more…No peace must be made without my directions.”
Unaware of Curtis’s telegram, Black Kettle and some 550 Cheyennes and Arapahos, having made their peace, traveled south to set up camp on Sand Creek under the promised protection of Fort Lyon. Those who remained opposed to the agreement headed North to join the Sioux.
The Sand Creek Massacre of November 29, 1864
Black Kettle and his people had every reason to expect complete safety from their bloodshed after agreements for peace were made and the Dog Soldiers left to join the Sioux. Nonetheless, Chivington’s troops advanced on the Cheyenne and Arapaho near dawn. The sound of those approaching hooves must have sounded ominous.
U.S. soldiers inevitably chased the defenseless Cheyenne and Arapaho by horse and foot with knives and guns in hand. Their victims had to be positioned before ripping off their scalps, cutting off their ears, smashing out their brains, butchering their children, tearing their breastfeeding infants away from their mother’s breasts, and then murdering those infants. The “Bloody Third” soldiers necessarily had to kill the infants before cutting out their mother’s genitals
The one question I never saw asked in the congressional hearings was, “Didn’t you disgraceful soldiers realize they were family?”
Kurt Kaltreider, PH.D. “American Indian Prophecies.” pp. 58-59:
-The report of witnesses at Sand Creek:
“I saw some Indians that had been scalped, and the ears cut off the body of White Antelope,” said Captain L. Wilson of the first Colorado Cavalry. “One Indian who had been scalped had also his skull smashed in, and I heard that the privates of White Antelope had been cut off to make a tobacco bag of. I heard some of the men say that the privates of one of the squaws had been cut out and put on a stick…”
John S. Smith…
All manner of depredations were inflicted on their persons; they were scalped, their brains knocked out; the men used their knives, ripped open women, clubbed little children, knocked them in the heads with their guns, beat their brains out, mutilated their bodies in every sense of the word…worse mutilation that I ever saw before, the women all cut to pieces…children two or three months old; all ages lying there.
Sand Creek being a deliberate massacre is not contested, especially since the “Bloody Third” set the village in flames and took all the evidence back to Washington to hide it.
Letters written by those at Sand Creek From Lt. Silas Soule to Maj. Edward Wynkoop, Dec. 14, 1864:
“The massacre lasted six or eight hours…I tell you Ned it was hard to see little children on their knees have their brains beat out by men professing to be civilized….They were all scalped, and as high as a half a dozen [scalps] taken from one head. They were all horribly mutilated…You could think it impossible for white men to butcher and mutilate human beings as they did there, but every word I have told you is the truth, which they do not deny…I expect we will have a hell of a time with Indians this winter.”
Before departing, the command, now the “Bloody Third”, ransacked and burned the village. The surviving Indians, some 300 people, fled north towards other Cheyenne camps.
Medicine Calf Beckwourth sought Black Kettle to ask him if peace was yet possible, but Black Kettle had moved out to be with relatives. Leg-in-the-Water replaced him as the primary chief; so, Beckwourth asked Leg-in-the-Water if there could be peace. Principle chief Leg-in-the-Water responded with these powerful words.
Dee Brown. “Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee.” p. 94:
“The white man has taken our country, killed all of our children. Now no peace. We want to go meet our families in the spirit land. We loved the whites until we found out they lied to us, and robbed us of what we had. We have raised the battle ax until death.”(1)
…despite broken promises and attacks on his own life, speak of him as a great leader with an almost unique vision of the possibility for coexistence between white society and the culture of the plains…
Do they know when I get up? This morning my wife while watching WBZ TV morning “news” told me to wait for the story about the government wanting the reading habits of Amazon.com customers.
They usually repeat the very same stories again by the time I actually leave for work. It is after all mainstream media and in the interest of keeping my soul pure and uncontaminated I have refined a sophisticated in one ear and out the other technique.
Hon, methinks the censors woke up, a story about government intrusion into private lives, the political officers stifled it.
The local network has also chosen to ignore something like this also and favor the manufactured diversionary local issue of the state legislature taking up the question of outlawing corporal punishment for your kids.
I would put further media consolidation as a more pressing issue than spanking kids.
Suggested tools: biscuit joiner, router, drill, table saw, saber saw, wood glue, framer’s square, large wood clamps, trim router, chisel.
1. Go to Lumber Yard
2. Buy Wood – pick up some 5/4″ x 12″ stock, about 36 board feet for the base and 12 board feet for the top. And another 12 board feet for the bottom. Pick them up in 12 or 6 foot lengths. Clear White Pine works very well and is available most anywhere. If you don’t have a board planer at home make sure to get finished wood otherwise you can get rough cut and plane them down yourself.
3. Buy 4 wheels for the base, I prefer the spherical rubber wheels. Buy some piano hinge for the top and some handles for the side.
4. Make your base – make sure your edges are planed, match your boards for the front, back and two sides, then use a biscuit joiner, biscuits and wood glue to join the boards, clamp. You’ll now have the 24″ high pieces to make your box frame. Locate the side panels about an inch and a half from end of the front and back panels, this will lessen the chances of the wood splitting and allow you to do some nice finishing details later. Pre-drill and countersink your holes, then screw and glue, clamp, wipe away excess glue. Construct your base the same way as the side panels, locate the base about an inch and a half above the bottom of the panels, this gives you a place to mount the wheels at each corner.
5. Add a 3 inch strip of wood across the back-top of the box with an inch overhang on both sides, pre-drill countersink, screw and glue. Measure from the front of this strip to the front of the box and add and inch and a half. That’s the depth measurement of your top. Add an inch to both sides of the box and that’s the width of your top. Match your boards, biscuit join them, round the front two corners with a saber saw, align it with the back strip already in place and place the piano hinge so that the round part of the hinge is visible when the lid is shut. Mark your drill holes once it is in place, this can be tricky and can require two people. Pre-drill, screw. Plug holes with wood plugs made from scraps, add glue, tap in place, chisel off smooth with surface.
6. Add your wheels
7. Router the exposed edges with a trim router, sand entire piece, medium, then fine. Use an acrylic polyurethane, sand lightly between coats, remove dust with tack rag, do final coat, let dry in dust-free environment.
8. Add your handles then show it off to friends and family.
Well thank god Dubai has stepped in an bought a sizable chunk of Citigroup, otherwise we would have a new Enron on our hands. In the fine tradition of making sure to steal a million purses because then its just a statistic, Citigroup used some rather shady account maneuvers. In fact, what they have done is outright illegal.
The whole shame would have been exposed, once Citigroup was exposed on the finical sheets. Of course, Dubai helped out, buying 5% of the Citigroup for the discount price of a mere $7.5 billion. This was more of a shout out to their boy in Saudi Arabia, a certain sheik who already owns a lot of the supposedly American corporation.
So, what the fuck happened?
Credit crisis reveals widespread accounting manipulation by top US banks
Chief among the “economic realities” behind Citigroup’s announcement is the credit crisis brought on by record defaults on home mortgages in the United States. Citigroup has already announced a $5 billion write-down related to home mortgages, which provoked the resignation of its CEO Charles Prince. It is expected to announce further losses of up to $11 billion in the fourth quarter.
The bank’s exposure could be much greater, however, as it may be forced to acknowledge losses that it had previously kept off its books. An article by Wall Street Journal reporter David Reilly on Monday (“Citi’s $41 Billion Issue: Should it put CDOs On the Balance Sheet?”) noted that the bank faces an “immediate threat” from troubles involving off-balance-sheet entities called collateralized debt obligations (CDOs)
The Journal notes that Citigroup “was one of the biggest arrangers of CDOs-products that pools debt, often mortgage securities, and then sell slices with varying degrees of risk.” The bank may be forced to bring these CDOs onto its balance sheet. “If Citigroup had to include an additional $41 billion in CDO assets on its books,” the Journal noted, “that could potentially spur a further $8 billion in write-downs, above and beyond those already signaled, according to a report earlier this month by Howard Mason, an analyst at Sanford C. Bernstein.”
Throughout the housing boom of the past several years, the CDOs, and related entities known as structured investment vehicles (SIVs), made substantial returns. SIVs are also off-balance-sheet entities, but are more open-ended, investing in other risky securities, including CDOs. Even those entities closely associated with banks have been nominally independent. The “independence” of these entities has been entirely fraudulent, however. They have been critical for the banks’ bottom line as sources of lucrative fees, buying up mortgages and other assets from their parent banks.
Ah yes, massive looting based on spreadsheets. It’s like death by spreadsheet, except it transfers wealth from the average citizen to right elite. And since the rich elite write the laws, everyone involved should get away with this in flying colors. One thing I have learned in my dealings with Wall Street is this: When you steal, steal billions. It will be so overwhelming people will just look the other way.
I wish I could run my finances like this, with my collateralized debt obligations not affecting my Quicken. Imagine if you could just pretend your mortgage just didn’t exist! And you could just keep on trucking like you never had to pay it back. Yeah, must be sweet being part of the elite.
So why the fuck is this illegal?
Commenting on the way that major banks were able to shift their risks off their balance sheets, New York Times economic writer Floyd Norris noted in an article published November 16 (“As Bank Profits Grew, Warning Signs Went Unheeded,”), “Instead of being suspicious, many analysts believed that banks had found a new way to prosper. Making a loan and keeping it on the balance sheet until it was repaid was so old-fashioned. It was far better to collect fees for arranging transactions and passing on the risks to others.”
In fact, many of these risks were not really transferred. Norris notes that the banks often made arrangements (called “liquidity puts”) with the purchasers of their CDO securities that would allow the purchasers to sell the CDO securities back to the bank if there was no other market. “That risk may have seemed slight when the securitization market was booming. But now the banks are being forced to buy back securities for more than they are worth.”
In essence, the puts allowed the banks to sell CDOs and other assets without really selling them. Use of the puts actually increased as the housing market began to unravel, as it was necessary to provide the guarantees in order for the banks to get investors to buy mortgage-backed securities whose value was increasingly in question.
The legality of these operations is highly dubious, since part of the intention appears to have been to mislead investors regarding the financial health of the company. Even if the operations by banks were legal, the fact that they were not reported to investors was likely a violation of accounting rules.
According to Norris, Citigroup and Bank of America were among those banks that used “liquidity puts” heavily.
Oh, so wow. Some ultra-rich dudes lied to average investors so they could loot them selling snake oil in the form of fake balance sheet! I am not sure, but that sounds like racketeering. Of course, it’s white color, so the worst that will happen to dudes like Prince from Citigroup is a mandatory 6 month stay at Club Fed where he will have to row against those dudes from Yale in the prison games.
And they will get to keep the money.
Even Kenneth Lay died with the money.
Speaking of which, where is all of Lay’s money now?
Exactly.
So, Dubai bails Citigroup out, and that helps the stock market recover, so this story will be buried. And buried deep.
Could be worse, there could be a rogue bailout in the works!
Schumer urges scrutiny of Federal Home Loan bank’s advances to troubled lender Countrywide
WASHINGTON – Sen. Charles Schumer on Monday urged a federal regulator to examine whether loans to troubled Countrywide Financial Corp. put at risk a network of regional government-sponsored lenders.
Countrywide, plagued by a surge of defaults among loans made to borrowers with weak credit, is the largest borrower from the Federal Home Loan Bank of Atlanta, with $51 billion, or 37 percent of the bank’s total advances as of Sept. 30, according to a Securities and Exchange Commission filing.
Like mortgage finance giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, the federal home loan banks are government-chartered enterprises, benefiting from the widespread assumption on Wall Street that the federal government would bail them out in the event of a crisis.
That implicit backing enables the home loan banks as a group _ made up of 12 individual cooperatives _ to borrow cheaply on global markets by issuing hundreds of billions of dollars in top-rated securities backed by mortgages.
So basically, instead of bailing the banks out directly, they are using a middle man, the Federal Home Loan Bank system. See, if the Bank of Atlanta went down, they would go down for basically asinine business practices. Free trade would see their doors closed. So instead, there is a rogue bailout by the Federal Home Loan Bank system. And why funds the Federal Home Loan Bank system?
That’s right! YOU!
So, even when there is not a bail out, there is a bail out. And this is the only one that has come to light.
So while you spend your wheels about civility, the system is systematically looting you.
Hey, we’re back with a first draft of Docudharma’s 12 Days of Christmas. Most of the lyrics have come from Rusty1776 and On The Bus. Take a look and if you have any ideas for making it better, please join in!!! But first…Frank Kelly’s 12 Days of Christmas is just hysterical. I’m laughing as i try to embed this… really and truly… this is great.
and this, holly hocks and ivy, is bizarre…
DOCUDHARMA’s 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS… first draft:
On the first day of Christmas, my country gave to me a president free of party affiliation
On the second day of Christmas, my country gave to me Bush’s resignation, and a president free of party affiliation
On the third day of Christmas, my country gave to me reconciliation, Bush’s resignation, and a president free of party affiliation
On the fourth day of Christmas, my country gave to me Netroots celebration, reconciliation, Bush’s resignation, and a president free of party affiliation . . .
On the fifth day of Christmas, my country gave to me a Docudharma nation, Netroots celebration, reconciliation, Bush’s resignation, and a president free of party affiliation
On the sixth day of Christmas, my country gave to me psychiatric evaluations, a Docudharma nation, Netroots celebration, reconciliation, Bush’s resignation, and a president free of party affiliation
On the seventh day of Christmas, my country gave to me a Congressional investigation, psychiatric evaluations, a Docudharma nation, Netroots celebration, reconciliation, Bush’s resignation, and a president free of party affiliation
On the eighth day of Christmas, my country gave to me shocking revelations, a Congressional investigation, psychiatric evaluations, a Docudharma nation, and Netroots celebrations, a reconciliation, Bush’s resignation, and a president free of party affiliation
On the ninth day of Christmas, my country gave to me Cheney’s cross examination, shocking revelations, a Congressional investigation, psychiatric evaluations, a Docudharma nation, and Netroots celebrations, a reconciliation, Bush’s resignation, and a president free of party affiliation
On the tenth day of Christmas, my country gave to me torture repudiation, Cheney’s cross examination, shocking revelations, a Congressional investigation, psychiatric evaluations, a Docudharma nation, and Netroots celebrations, a reconciliation, Bush’s resignation, and a president free of party affiliation
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my country gave to me collective hallucinations, torture repudiation, Cheney’s cross examination, shocking revelations, a Congressional investigation, psychiatric evaluations, a Docudharma nation, and Netroots celebrations, a reconciliation, Bush’s resignation, and a president free of party affiliation
On the twelveth day of Christmas, my country gave to me a Caribbean vacation, collective hallucinations, torture repudiation, Cheney’s cross examination, shocking revelations, a Congressional investigation, psychiatric evaluations, a Docudharma nation, and Netroots celebrations, a reconciliation, Bush’s resignation, and a president free of party affiliation
That’s our wish list for the 12 days of Christmas.
Please forward to Santa.
He’s in Gitmo right now, but they still let him read his mail in between waterboardings.
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don’t rec the pony party, but if you have ideas for improving the DocuDharma version of The Twelve Days of Christmas, please jump in. I’d love to get this final song version floating around the lefty blogosphere. Maybe we’ll shop it around to the Daly Show or convince Stephen to sing song it.
I just received a Ron Paul flyer in the mail. In this particular piece of merde, Dr. Paul is arguing against illegal immigration. He believes he is the one candidate running who will stop it once and for all.
Part of his strategy is to amend the 14th amendment in the Constitution and end automatic birthright citizenship in the United States.
My initial and immediate reaction was…
Fuckity fuck fuck piece of shit racist bastard. What an asshole you are for pulling this shit, especially in the South where it is too damn easy as it is to appeal to the deep-seated racism here. Fuck off.
And then I thought of the fight going on here yesterday, and I see continuing somewhat today. And I thought it worth bringing to your attention.
Birthright citizenship is also referred to as Jus Soli. There is a very good wiki article on the subject here.
Without birthright citizenship, children can end up in a no-man’s land and have literally no citizenship anywhere until certain legal thresholds are met.
Dr. Paul’s position is a little more nuanced that I originally gave him credit for. To read more about it, here is his October 2, 2006 column on the subject, published in his official government web page.
An excerpt:
A recent article in the Houston Chronicle discusses the problem of so-called anchor babies, children born in U.S. hospitals to illegal immigrant parents. These children automatically become citizens, and thus serve as an anchor for their parents to remain in the country. Our immigration authorities understandably are reluctant to break up families by deporting parents of young babies. But birthright citizenship, originating in the 14th amendment, has become a serious cultural and economic dilemma for our nation. …
No other wealthy, western nations grant automatic citizenship to those who simply happen to be born within their borders to non-citizens (Ed. Note: not true, see the first link). These nations recognize that citizenship involves more than the physical location of one’s birth; it also involves some measure of cultural connection and allegiance. In most cases this means the parents must be citizens of a nation in order for their newborn children to receive automatic citizenship.
Make no mistake, Americans are happy to welcome immigrants who follow our immigration laws and seek a better life here. America is far more welcoming and tolerant of newcomers than virtually any nation on earth. But our modern welfare state creates perverse incentives for immigrants, incentives that cloud the issue of why people choose to come here. The real problem is not immigration, but rather the welfare state magnet.
That pretty much sums up his thinking.
The truth is though – even thought he talks about the welfare state, Dr. Paul’s goal of rewriting the 14th Amendment will appeal to exactly those types of closet racists who are looking for any excuse to stick it to foreign immigrants. Especially those brown skinned foreign immigrants.
Friends, racism is still a real, living breathing issue in this country. It is simply (slightly) more subtle than it used to be.
It now comes wrapped in fancy packaged phrasing such as ‘you’re just racist against the white man’ or ‘goodness look how nice and normal they are behaving’ or ‘let’s modify the 14 Amendment on the grounds of the US being such a generous welfare state’. What utter bullshit.
And that, my friends, is truly uncivil. And uncivilized.
Some news and open thread for Wednesday afternoon.
The Independent reports Mexico spends millions to welcome insect migrants. “A warmer welcome should soon be awaiting the millions of orange-and-black monarch butterflies which each year make their astonishing migration from the eastern United States and Canada to the fir-clad mountains of central Mexico. The tourist hordes that come to view them should see the change too. The government of President Felipe Calderon is to boost spending at the nature reserve where the butterflies gather for winter by $4.6m (£2.2m) a year both to improve conditions for the insects – and their human admirers – and to step up efforts to combat rampant illegal logging.”
According to the Los Angeles Times, Seven federal wildlife decisions to be revised. “Federal wildlife regulators will revise seven controversial decisions on endangered species and critical habitat made by an Interior Department political appointee who quit in the spring amid charges of improper meddling in scientific decisions… Former Deputy Assistant Interior Secretary Julie MacDonald, a civil engineer from California with no formal training in natural sciences, routinely questioned and sometimes overruled recommendations by biologists and other field staffers, according to documents, interviews and a review by the department’s inspector general. The review outlined instances in which MacDonald advocated altering scientific conclusions in ways that led to reduced protection for imperiled species and that favored developers and agricultural businesses. And she was rebuked for providing internal documents to lobbyists.”
MacDonald “should never have been allowed near the endangered species program,” [House Natural Resources Committee Chairman Nick J. Rahall II (D-WV)] said in a statement Tuesday. “This announcement is the latest illustration of the depth of incompetence at the highest levels of management within the Interior Department and breadth of this administration’s penchant for torpedoing science.”
The New York Times reports Oil producers see the world and buy it up. “Flush with petrodollars, oil-producing countries have embarked on a global shopping spree… Experts estimate that oil-rich nations have a $4 trillion cache of petrodollar investments around the world. And with oil prices likely to remain in the stratosphere, that number could increase rapidly. In 2000, OPEC countries earned $243 billion from oil exports, according to Cambridge Energy Research Associates. For all of 2007 the estimate was more than $688 billion, but that did not include the last two months of price spikes.”
The Los Angeles Times reports Ethanol a sticking point in energy bill. “A plan to dramatically increase ethanol production has become a major sticking point in congressional negotiations to complete work on the bill. And it has created a challenge for House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, whose Democratic caucus has split over the issue… At the heart of this year’s dispute on Capitol Hill is the Senate bill’s renewable fuel standard, which would mandate 36 billion gallons of alternative fuels by 2022 — up to 15 billion from corn-based ethanol… Environmental groups, which support alternative fuels, want to ensure that stepped-up production does not damage the environment. They worry about more pollution from fertilizers and pesticides, and the conversion of grasslands and wildlife habitats to farmland.”
Another passing of note below the fold.
The Guardian brings news of the death of Verity Lambert. “Verity Lambert, who has died aged 71 of cancer, will always be remembered as the presiding genius behind Doctor Who, the science-fiction romp which has intermittently flourished on television for nearly 45 years. But in a career lasting much the same span she was responsible, in one capacity or another, for a whole host of productions that combined excellence and popularity.”
Since we are taking care of the smaller productivity of fighting blog wars over how op relate to each other by writing essay after essay about it, I thought I would throw one in to say that this shit has pretty much ruled out me writing what I was hoping would be a semi-important essay on, like, trying to effect political change and roll back the oncoming tide of tyranny and injustice. Well as possible in the relatively minor fiefdom of the blogosphere.
So anyone who was looking for something like that today…sorry.
We are working out how to be decent human beings on blogs instead.
Just as important in its own small way, but it is always a bit disappointing when we have to stop and do this shit. On the other hand, it is exactly thios kind of shit that keeps the world and our nation and humans in general from making real progress, so I can’t say it is MUCH less important.
Ok, I’ll go back to figuring out how to be a good blog daddy now.
