I see now that I’ve been doing this all wrong. I am setting up a Facebook/GoFundMe/Patreon page to sincerely ask for your contribution (BitCoin and PayPal gratefully accepted) so that I can raise the $1 Million a day I need to live a normal life again.

My recent investments in lottery futures have not paid off the way I expected and the expense of maintaining our world wide information network in New York, Stars Hollow, North Lake, By the Sea, and Paris (told you we were world wide) is exceeding our resources and I’ve had to cut back on basic necessities like Caviar (now sadly Salmon Roe) which upsets my twin albino Persians Flopsy and Mopsy (Ick, fish eggs? I love them anyway. Mmm…Mmm…Mmm…Mmm…Mmm… Now, go kill a bird.).

I have had to halt construction on the Bösendorfer Wing of my piano collection (not that I can play, I just like to dust them… Hah! That’s really Cosette’s job.). Speaking of- Jeeves (my butler), Yves (my valet), and Auguste (my cook) will not receive their customary ek’smas bonus unless you contribute now to the limit your pocketbook will allow.

I drive a BMW instead of a Mercedes!

This is because I was forced to plead guilty for lying to the FBI about my Russian contacts during the 2016 Election after I drunkenly bragged about it to the Australian Ambassador (did 14 days in Stir and 200 hours of Service in addition to a $9,500 fine which came out of my pocket folks. Merry ek’smas Guillermo- he’s my pool boy).

I still have travel restrictions, not allowed to access my business network for the last two years, elements of the government have paused my wife’s work visa because she spoke out in my defense. Contributions appreciated until we are exonerated and allowed to live normal again.

Heather is quite agitated and has doubled her dosage of Diazepam and Chardonnay.

I am a young man who devoted my bright career to serve my country and help Donald Trump to become our President. I have been the victim of the biggest plot in American political history. While honestly working for the Trump campaign, I became the target of many shady forces to sabotage him.

I had a brilliant career that was violently interrupted!

So please, at this special time of year when people’s hearts and wallets are open and they are exceptionally gullible (it’s not in the dictionary, you could look it up), give as generously as you can and then some.

Note: The Stars Hollow Gazette and DocuDharma operate privately because it’s not that expensive and our expectations are low. Nobody is getting rich off this or trying to go viral for fortune and fame. We chronicle the impending apocalypse in ephemeral photons for amusement and therapy.

I actually own a Yamaha Piano. Bösendorfer is just a brand name that they bought.- ek

I told you, Zack Morris Is Trash

Dirtbike Season 3 Episode 8

Sucker Punch- Season 3 Episode 9

Baby in a Gym Bag- Season 3 Episode 10

Welcome to The Breakfast Club! We’re a disorganized group of rebel lefties who hang out and chat if and when we’re not too hungover we’ve been bailed out we’re not too exhausted from last night’s (CENSORED) the caffeine kicks in. Join us every weekday morning at 9am (ET) and weekend morning at 10:00am (ET) (or whenever we get around to it) to talk about current news and our boring lives and to make fun of LaEscapee! If we are ever running late, it’s PhilJD’s fault.

Germans dance on top of Berlin Wall as communism crumbles in Eastern Europe; Nazis target Jews during ‘Kristallnacht’; A massive blackout hits the Northeast; Poet Dylan Thomas and Actor Art Carney die.

We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.

Kin Hubbard

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No, not hitting on girls though that’s loutish enough. I mean actually striking a woman is an act that carries a deep moral revulsion among enlightened men. Bible Believing Christians like Sarah Huckabee Sanders of course think that women should be submissive to their husbands and fathers and if a little physical coercion is used to compel compliance it’s simply Yahweh’s will.

So on at least one level it’s incredibly hypocritical of her (but normal in context) to denounce CNN Reporter Jim Acosta’s “violence” against the female intern (I’d call her “poor” and sympathize but what kind of Right Wing Whack do you have to be to accept a job as an unpaid coffee fetching flunky- note: guys get assigned the same kinds of demeaning tasks, in the cesspool of lies and mendacity that is any Republican regime let alone this one) who assaulted and battered him (a threat is an assault, a touch is battery- whether there is physical injury or not).

Plié.

But there is a deeper level of lying and doublespeak going on when Ms. Sanders (and I use the feminist honorific because I know it will annoy her) puts forth a doctored and falsified video from Alex Jones’ snakepit of lies and conspiracy theories, InfoWars.

White House uses doctored video to justify stripping CNN reporter Jim Acosta’s press credentials
by Zack Ford, Think Progress
Nov 8, 2018

The White House revoked CNN reporter Jim Acosta’s hard pass Wednesday evening, after President Trump berated him as a “rude, terrible person” at a press conference earlier in the day. Acosta said he had also been banned from White House grounds.

Within hours, Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders began twisting the story, claiming the White House would not tolerate a reporter “placing his hands on a young woman,” referring to an aide who had tried to pull a microphone from Acosta’s hands during the press conference.

Video of the incident clearly shows the aide in question attempting to yank the mic away multiple times, as Acosta tries to finish asking a question. “Pardon me, ma’am,” he he can be heard saying on the third attempt, as the two make brief contact.

Paul Joseph Watson, editor-at-large for the conspiracy site Infowars, later posted what appeared to be a slightly doctored version of the video. Unlike the original clip, it appears to show Acosta forcing his hand down on the aide’s arm.
…
Sanders later appeared to share the doctored video on her own Twitter timeline, using it to justify the White House decision to pull Acosta’s credentials.

“We stand by our decision to revoke this individual’s hard pass,” she wrote. “We will not tolerate the inappropriate behavior clearly documented in this video.”
…
Numerous video editors have since weighed in with their own expertise on Twitter, demonstrating how the video Sanders shared could have been doctored. The Indepedent’s analysis of the doctored editing describes the video as being frozen for three frames the moment before Acosta’s hand comes down on the aide’s arm.
…
Watson, for his part, denies that he “sped up the footage,” claiming that all that he did was zoom in on the original video. He credited another conservative site, The Daily Wire, as his source for the footage.

Acosta has since responded to Sanders’ claims, calling them a blatant lie. Many other reporters who were present to witness the encounter have backed his account as well.

CNN stood by Acosta, issuing a statement Wednesday night accusing Sanders of having “provided fraudulent accusations and cit[ing] an incident that never happened.”
…
The White House Correspondents’ Association also condemned the White House’s decision to revoke Acosta’s access, urging it to “immediately reverse this weak and misguided action.”

But it’s not so bad Jim. At the next WHCA Dinner you can sit at Candice Bergen’s table.

She baked a cake.

Guys? Guys?

The Magical Negro

You’re just in Texas

How Banks are stealing your money.

Welcome to The Breakfast Club! We’re a disorganized group of rebel lefties who hang out and chat if and when we’re not too hungover we’ve been bailed out we’re not too exhausted from last night’s (CENSORED) the caffeine kicks in. Join us every weekday morning at 9am (ET) and weekend morning at 10:00am (ET) (or whenever we get around to it) to talk about current news and our boring lives and to make fun of LaEscapee! If we are ever running late, it’s PhilJD’s fault.

Adolf Hitler makes his first attempt to seize power in Germany; Democrat John F. Kennedy wins the presidency; Ronald Reagan is elected governor of California; Bonnie Raitt is born; Led Zeppelin releases the album ”Led Zeppelin Four.”.

Bad officials are the ones elected by good citizens who do not vote.

George Jean Nathan

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Well good riddance to sad old racist rubbish. On the other hand, could it complicate the Mueller Probe into the Russian Treason Plot?

Yes and no. Mueller will indeed report to a new boss once the transition is complete. Matt Whitaker is an interim appointment and can only serve 210 days without confirmation. Is that a long time? Yes, more so because Whitaker has said flatly that Mueller’s brief does not include Trump’s business dealings (which are of course the quid for Trump’s pro quo though his Russian Connection is more likely kompromat extortion than a conventional bribe, which is not to say conventional bribery did not take place) and has said that the proper way to limit the Mueller Investigation is administratively and through financial control (meaning sneakily).

But no from this standpoint, Mueller has a ton of evidence already, distributed widely across the Justice Department (Michael Cohen). He has 2 Independent Grand Juries that might have handed down or be prepared to hand down on short notice, Indictments against Roger Stone (almost certainly), Trump Jr., Ivanka, Jared, and Eric. The public evidence is overwhelming.

And he probably has at least a Subpoena ready for Donald himself, if not a separate Indictment. Justice Department policy be damned.

The gloves are off now and my confident prediction is there will be blood on the floor because that’s how the FBI rolls- Chicago Style. They come at you with a knife? You come at them with a gun. Mueller is sitting on the trigger of a Howitzer.

Did I say things would start to happen November 7th? Yes, yes I did. Hope you stocked up on popcorn, this will be ugly.

With luck we won’t have to pry Trump out with Pitchforks, the primary utility of which is removing shit.

I peg you as a “glass is half empty” kind of guy. Am I right?

What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?

That sums it up for me.

Why is the Rum always gone?

Oh, that’s why.

Say What?

Why Credit Cards are a scam.