Welcome to The Breakfast Club! We’re a disorganized group of rebel lefties who hang out and chat if and when we’re not too hungover we’ve been bailed out we’re not too exhausted from last night’s (CENSORED) the caffeine kicks in. Join us every weekday morning at 9am (ET) and weekend morning at 10:00am (ET) (or whenever we get around to it) to talk about current news and our boring lives and to make fun of LaEscapee! If we are ever running late, it’s PhilJD’s fault.

I’m not Meg tonight, I’m ‘a doll’ who does all sorts of crazy things. Tomorrow I shall put away my ‘fuss and feathers’ and be desperately good again.

Little Women was published 150 years ago.

Ok, so ‘ersatz’ means cheap imitation of inferior quality and the title reflects my desire to get away from episodic franchise writing which, after 13 years, bores the crap out of me.

Sorry dear readers, but if it’s not fun to me it’s just work. Someday I will perhaps return to Musical History (unless you’d rather hear about Ming Vases which are distinguished by polychromatic glazes).

TMC is traveling as she frequently does and will be unavailable on a regular basis. I don’t want you going around thinking that we’ve suddenly had a management shakeup, we’ll keep trying to feed you the usual mix of crap, lies, and innuendo that any purveyor of ‘Fake News’ and CT (it stands for Completely True!) aspires to.

Today I’ll skip the blogs just to mix things up.

Kavanaugh

• Trump mocks Kavanaugh accuser Christine Blasey Ford
• Brett Kavanaugh’s anger may be backfiring
• ‘Just plain wrong’: Flake, Collins criticize Trump for mocking Kavanaugh accuser at political rally
• Trump Taunts Christine Blasey Ford at Rally
• Kavanaugh’s 1983 Letter Offers Inside Look at High School Clique
• Republicans on Senate panel release explicit statement about Kavanaugh accuser’s sex life
• Hundreds of law professors sign letters rejecting Kavanaugh nomination
• Kavanaugh Was Questioned by Police After Bar Fight in 1985

Trump Taxes

• Trump Engaged in Suspect Tax Schemes as He Reaped Riches From His Father
• 4 Ways Fred Trump Made Donald Trump and His Siblings Rich
• 11 Takeaways From The Times’s Investigation Into Trump’s Wealth
• N.Y. tax agency weighs probe after report that Trump family built wealth through tax-avoidance schemes and fraud

Stuff

• Millions of cellphone users are about to get a ‘Presidential Alert.’ Here’s what to know.
• Where Indonesia Quake Turned Ground to Jelly, People and Homes Are Unaccounted For
• Indonesia tsunami: death toll rises as volcano adds to woes
• Facebook Hack Puts Thousands of Other Sites at Risk
• Texas detention camp swells fivefold with migrant children
• Feds finally charge 4 white supremacists who flew to Charlottesville to hit people

Have a great day. Cartnoon will be substituting for Pundits (I’m that whimsical) and tonight is Lola Night because damn Yankees.

Ahhh, therapists. I can’t get away from them!

Ok, so you probably know by now that I’m a computer tech and strange stuff pops up in my YouTube feed constantly including Self-Help and Psychiatric videos as well as goofy things (Cartnoon).

I blame Anna Akana who in addition to being a very funny actor trying to get visible in Southern California has a sideline in personal improvement and a sad backstory- her sister committed suicide at 13. Kind of compelling, I’ll try to curate it sometime. Did I mention she’s really funny?

But I’m the target of other videos too, based on my Google archived preferences, and this one about building a $100,000 Gaming Machine caught my attention.

I have a box just like that which I use for testing, though my budget doesn’t allow for such exuberant extravagant expenditures.

$100,000? I can build you 10 super primo systems for the same amount and a hundred that will do for normal things (if you’re crypto-mining I think what you’re doing is both reprehensible and economically wrong headed).

Of course, as a guy who designed 1 Mb memory packs for Altairs (also useful for heating hot tubs) I have alternative ideas of interesting. I’ll also note that even with an unlimited budget the debugging and testing video is about an hour longer than any of the others because that’s the way it goes.

Bonus- 5 Signs You Need Therapy

No, that one’s totally straight. Did I mention I’m in Therapy?

I’m kind of ticked off that very few people are reporting the reality of ‘boofing’ and accepting Kavanaugh’s lie that it has something to do with farts.

Well, something I guess.

Urban Dictionary

The act of smirkingly perjuring oneself before the United States Senate Judiciary Committee.

Ok, both descriptive and hip but since it’s a neologism probably outside of most people’s vocabulary and instead I direct you to definitions 2 & 3.

The act of inserting drugs into the anus for a longer trip.

When you take drugs or alcohols through your asshole to get higher/drunker and quicker than taking it otherwise.

What there is, is a decided lack of (other than respect for Ceasar, should have had that role) anal sex, not that it’s a good thing or a bad thing.

I have a friend who used to work in an Emergency Room and they tell me it’s both very effective and relatively common. I would never have thought so.

In treatment you use it for things like drinking anti-freeze in which, due to complicated biochemical reasons I don’t understand actually, it clears the ethylene glycol out of your kidneys and liver- important not because it is inherently toxic but because the metabolized by-products are. This type of poisoning is most often seen in dogs but there is a Darwin selected human population that thinks this kind of near death experience is fun and exciting.

Nearly as removed from the gene pool for sheer stupidity are those that do what can only be called Vodka Enemas for sport.

Umm… how drunk do you need to be?

Compounding the difficulties of controlling the dosage (not many people are EMT or Paramedic trained) there’s the fact that Blood Alcohol levels above .2 (not .02, the amount you get from an average drink, this is like 10 drinks at once) often results in unconsciousness and it seems to me that it’s poor form to waste your buzz on snoozing unless you have an acute problem with insomnia (for which there are other remedies).

Outside the ick factor (you know, enema) there is the fact that Blood Alcohol levels above .2 are frequently fatal. Above .3 almost certainly so.

Scared you yet?

Now if you’re a normal human being the thought of downing 10 shots in an hour ought to fill you with dread. I’m talking rainbows of vomit. Yet like anything else you get used to it I suppose, never tried myself.

Have I been blackout drunk? Oh my yes. I’ll never forget it (at least the parts I remember). I fell in with some Navy recruiters and in another age I would have literally woken up on a slow boat to China instead of a Safeway parking lot.

Yeah, it’s like that. Is it the way you want to go through life? I mean, fat and drunk I get, but stupid?

The shortest fan rant ever.

Jenny Nicholson.

Welcome to The Breakfast Club! We’re a disorganized group of rebel lefties who hang out and chat if and when we’re not too hungover we’ve been bailed out we’re not too exhausted from last night’s (CENSORED) the caffeine kicks in. Join us every weekday morning at 9am (ET) and weekend morning at 10:00am (ET) (or whenever we get around to it) to talk about current news and our boring lives and to make fun of LaEscapee! If we are ever running late, it’s PhilJD’s fault.

Mohandes Gandhi born; President Woodrow Wilson suffers stroke; Thurgood Marshall sworn in as US Supreme Court justice; Rock Hudson dies; Peanuts comic strip debut.

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.

Finley Peter Dunne

Continue reading

Hair Curling Tales from the Front Line

So, I was incoming capo di tutti and my club is not composed of teetotallers. Kind of the opposite, a convincing part of my campaign was hanging out in the smoking lounge with the kool kidz. Not the coolest ones mind you, they smoked reefer and while I did and do it was not part of what I consider my public image, besides they belonged to my opponent’s local so I did the polite thing and stumped them just as hard as I did everyone else which didn’t win me any votes but made governing easier, after the election they were among my most loyal supporters.

So yeah, just like High School. Everything is.

As capo I had stuff and things that National wanted me to do and most of them involved me traveling to some flat state flyover backwater to cast a meaningless vote and get positively pasted and polluted for a weekend.

It’s a wonder I got anything done at all.

On my initial outing they sent a minder (to make sure I voted the right way), or rather tapped a past capo to “guide” me. I didn’t worry about it since I knew him and he had been a big promoter of my candidacy (well, he hated the other guy more).

We’re in a New York Airport, don’t quite remember which- probably LaGuardia and after checking in we hit the bar like any sensible person who knows your $6 drink is going to be $12 on the plane. I like to close my eyes because I’ve seen the tops of enough clouds.

We have a few and it’s time for the gate. My patron, who has kindly volunteered his expense account to pay for our tab starts this screaming fight with the bartender over it instead of quietly deducting from the tip. After being literally thrown out we find our flight delayed and sheepishly return. Of course it’s the same barkeep, it’s only been 15 minutes.

“You’re cut off.”

Cut off at an Airport Bar? This is your Kavanaugh moment.

Sorry, more Kavanaugh.

Welcome to The Breakfast Club! We’re a disorganized group of rebel lefties who hang out and chat if and when we’re not too hungover we’ve been bailed out we’re not too exhausted from last night’s (CENSORED) the caffeine kicks in. Join us every weekday morning at 9am (ET) and weekend morning at 10:00am (ET) (or whenever we get around to it) to talk about current news and our boring lives and to make fun of LaEscapee! If we are ever running late, it’s PhilJD’s fault.

Henry Ford’s Model T car hits the market; Mao Zedong proclaims Communist China; Game One of first-ever World Series takes place; Johnny Carson begins his ‘Tonight Show’ run; Walt Disney World opens.

When you single out any particular group of people for secondary citizenship status, that’s a violation of basic human rights.

Jimmy Carter

Continue reading