About Those War Crimes

The United States commits War Crimes. To this day. Our air strikes against and ground force presence in Syria, for example, are an instance of Aggressive War.

“To initiate a war of aggression, therefore, is not only an international crime; it is the supreme international crime differing only from other war crimes in that it contains within itself the accumulated evil of the whole.”- Norman Birkett, 1945

There is no declaration of War, no U.N resolution, no Authorization to Use Military Force, simply a whimsical War Criminal President who decided to use the Intelligence Assets and Armed Services of the United States to overthrow a sovereign government that represents no threat to our country or citizens.

I am talking of course about Barack Obama.

But, you know, the Nazis and Japanese did other criminal things like torturing and executing Civilians and Prisoners of War.

The United States does that too.

One notable illustration is what is euphemistically termed “enhanced interrogation” but specifically labeled torture by many International Treaties we have signed and had ratified in Congress, making them co-equal with the Constitution itself as the supreme law of the land.

Now our current War Criminal in Chief proposes placing Gina Haspel, a woman whose crimes are different only in volume from Reinhard Heydrich and Henrich Himmler, at the head of the Central Intelligence Agency.

I’ll let Charlie Pierce take it from here-

Gina Haspel’s Confirmation Hearings Are an Opportunity to Confront a Moral Disaster
By Charles P. Pierce, Esquire Magazine
May 7, 2018

There was an unfortunate panel discussion on Kasie Hunt’s new MSNBC joint on Sunday night. The topic was the nomination of Gina Haspel to head the CIA in the face of her active participation in the program of torture initiated by the Bush Administration in the wake of the 9/11 attacks. What we know is that Haspel oversaw the operation of a CIA “black site” in Thailand, and, on orders from her superiors, destroyed videotapes of the “enhanced interrogation” that took place there so that the country wouldn’t find out exactly how “enhanced” was the interrogation that took place in our names.

Over the weekend, it appears, Haspel offered to take her name out of nomination, not out of concern for the war crimes with which she might have been complicit, but out of concern for the reputation of the CIA. As of now, her nomination remains viable as the president* blessed it on the electric Twitter machine Monday morning.

My highly respected nominee for CIA Director, Gina Haspel, has come under fire because she was too tough on Terrorists. Think of that, in these very dangerous times, we have the most qualified person, a woman, who Democrats want OUT because she is too tough on terror. Win Gina!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 7, 2018

Yeah, right. Whatever, Knocko.

On Sunday night, then, Hunt put together a panel to discuss the Haspel nomination, and the issues arising from it. The panel consisted of MSNBC’s Ken Dilanian, the Daily Beast’s Sam Stein, and two of the network’s stable of experts: Jeremy Bash, a Democratic lawyer who also served as Leon Panetta’s chief of staff at the Department of Defense and at CIA during the Obama years, and John McLaughlin, who served as both deputy director and interim director at CIA during the Bush administration.

To his credit, Stein pushed back, only to have Bash ask him if he’d “read the entire report,” which is the bureaucrat’s equivalent of some half-bright outfielder asking a reporter if he ever “played the game.” Of course, some of the evidence that might have been included in that report isn’t there because it was destroyed by people like Gina Haspel.

Bash led off, having just spoken to Haspel. (The initiates stay in touch.) And he explained, blandly, that Haspel was afraid that her confirmation hearings would damage the image of the CIA by “reopening old wounds from 2002 and 2003.” He sounded like he was talking about the covert warfare of the Assyrian Empire rather than an abandonment of American principles that took place within the last 15 years. As with most people carrying the brief for torture, Bash also made sure to mention that one of the people that was waterboarded in Thailand was “Khalid Sheikh Muhammad, who beheaded the Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl.” This demagogue’s trick, too, is one of the ceremonies of the priesthood—flogging your arguments with a corpse.

McLaughlin chimed in that the “danger” is that “this will all be reopened and it’s not really well understood. It’s difficult to get at the facts of what happened during this period of time.” (McLaughlin, we must presume, knows damned well what happened, since he was deputy director at CIA at the time.) Then he went long on the siren call that led America onto the dark side from which we have not entirely returned.

“What you have to remember is that this was an extraordinary moment in the history of the country. Three thousand people had died. We had reliable reporting that there was a second wave attack planned. Bin Laden had met with nuclear scientists. We had forensic evidence that al Qaeda had an anthrax program under way in Afghanistan. We found that after we went in. This was an extraordinary time and this program that everybody is focused on is not well-understood. It was not well-examined by the Senate and that report is very controversial among people involved in the program who look back at it and say, ‘All of that context is missing.’”

Oh, shut up, please. This is Torturer’s Bingo. We have the Ticking Bomb. The We Know More Than You tap-dance, and the remarkable assertion that America’s torturers find the Senate’s conclusion that they tortured “controversial.” I’m sure that Whitey Bulger’s crew found federal indictments controversial, too.

Just to supply some context, because McLaughlin asked for it, here are some of the CIA’s wounds that Bash and McLaughlin have pronounced too tender to be reopened, courtesy of The New York Times.

The report describes extensive waterboarding as a “series of near drownings” and suggests that more prisoners were subjected to waterboarding than the three prisoners the C.I.A. has acknowledged in the past. The report also describes detainees being subjected to sleep deprivation for up to a week, medically unnecessary “rectal feeding” and death threats. Conditions at one prison, described by a clandestine officer as a “dungeon,” were blamed for the death of a detainee, and the harsh techniques were described as leading to “psychological and behavioral issues, including hallucinations, paranoia, insomnia, and attempts at self-harm and self-mutilation.”

And:

The report says that the C.I.A. provided false and misleading information to members of Congress, the White House and the director of national intelligence about the program’s effectiveness. It asserts that a review of cases, in which the agency claims to have collected “actionable intelligence” it would have been unable to obtain by other means, calls into question the connection between the information and any “counterterrorism success.”

And:

The report found that the C.I.A. provided classified information to journalists but that the agency did not push to prosecute or investigate many of the leaks. C.I.A. officials asked officers to “compile information on the success” of the program to be shared with the news media in order to shape public opinion. The C.I.A. also mischaracterized events and provided false or incomplete information to the news media in an effort to gain public support.

Things were particularly spirited at the Thai prison over which Haspel eventually would come to preside.

Mr. Zubaydah remembered the box experience in more vivid terms. “I felt I was going to explode from bending my legs and my back and from being unable to spread them not even for short instants,” he wrote to his lawyers in 2008, noting that the box was so short and tight he could not sit up or change positions. “The very strong pain made me scream unconsciously.” Other C.I.A. cables also clinically recount applying torture methods like the suffocation technique known as waterboarding. (Previously disclosed documents and the Senate report executive summary had already discussed Mr. Zubaydah’s waterboarding in extensive detail, including that he was subjected to the treatment 83 times in one month.) The contemporaneous cables describe him crying, but generally use bland descriptions, like: “Water treatment was applied.”

Quite simply, there is no reason to believe anything the Bush-era CIA says about anything concerning the 9/11 attacks and everything that came out of them. The CIA botched the pursuit of the men who became the 9/11 hijackers. It failed to push back hard enough on the concocted case for the invasion of Iraq, and it became a willing partner in the perpetration of atrocities overseas for which we hung Japanese generals after World War II. Even in the long, corrupt history of the CIA’s off-the-charter activities, this was a particularly grotesque time.

All of this should be re-litigated in the hearings this week, no matter how much it discomforts the nominee and or how much it angers the members of the priesthood. This wound is not closed. There is no healing. There is just moral suppuration, barely below the surface.

Gina Haspel is a stone cold murderer and a sadistic torturer. She deserves no special consideration because of her gender (looking right at you Feinstein). What she deserves is to be locked up in Spandau.

“We must never forget that the record on which we judge these defendants is the record on which history will judge us tomorrow. To pass these defendants a poisoned chalice is to put it to our own lips as well.”

“If certain acts of violation of treaties are crimes, they are crimes whether the United States does them or whether Germany does them, and we are not prepared to lay down a rule of criminal conduct against others which we would not be willing to have invoked against us.”- Robert H. Jackson, 1945

He’s Always Been This Way

Look, I know people. I know people who know Rudy. He’s always been this way. A horrible human being who cheated on his wife and positioned the emergency command center for New York City specifically so he could cheat on his wife there. It was subsequently destroyed in the 9/11 attack because it was too close to obvious targets.

And it wasn’t his first wife, that was his cousin Regina Peruggi. While they were still technically married he started shacking up with Donna Hanover and his Catholic annulment was granted on the grounds he suddenly discovered he’d married his cousin who he’d known since childhood.

Hanover basically stopped speaking with him in the mid 90’s when it became clear he was having nooners (that’s sex during lunch hour so you don’t have to look it up) with his Press Secretary, Cristyne Lategano.

In 1999 he started shagging Judith Nathan and Donna was through with him. She booted him out of Gracie Mansion and filed for divorce. She got $6.8 Million and the kids. He married Nathan in 2003 and that lasted exactly 15 years. Judith filed on April 4th 2018, a little over a month ago.

So he’s a sex obsessed dog which makes him a perfect representative for Trump in his dispute against Stephanie Clifford.

That and the fact he’s a terrible lawyer, not quite Michael Cohen class but close enough. From people who’ve seen his technique he’s an ignorant bully who is at least wise enough to let his assistants (much better than he is) carry his water unless there’s glory and a photo-op in it.

During his terms as “America’s Mayor” he instituted a reign of racist Police Brutality across the city of which the most trenchant example is Abner Louima who had the handle of a toilet plunger shoved up his ass by Officer Justin Volpe in the 70th Precinct Station House while he was handcuffed and then rammed in his mouth so forcibly that Louima suffered severe dental damage and tooth loss. Afterwards Volpe paraded around the station with the bloody and excrement stained plunger.

“This is Giuliani-time,” he said.

John barely scratches the surface of what a miserable waste Rudy Giuliani is and because I am charitable and humane I wish him nothing but a long, long life of futile obscurity so he can contemplate his incompetence and crimes.

Cartnoon

Sports

The Breakfast Club (Don’t Stop)

Welcome to The Breakfast Club! We’re a disorganized group of rebel lefties who hang out and chat if and when we’re not too hungover we’ve been bailed out we’re not too exhausted from last night’s (CENSORED) the caffeine kicks in. Join us every weekday morning at 9am (ET) and weekend morning at 10:00am (ET) (or whenever we get around to it) to talk about current news and our boring lives and to make fun of LaEscapee! If we are ever running late, it’s PhilJD’s fault.

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This Day in History

The Lusitania sunk in World War I; Nazi Germany signs surrender in World War II; Vietnam’s Battle of Dien Bien Phu; Composer Peter Illych Tchaikovsky born; Glenn Miller records ‘Chattanooga Choo-Choo.’

Breakfast Tunes

Something to Think about over Coffee Prozac

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Winston Churchill

Continue reading

Rant of the Week: Stephen Colbert – Profiles In Discourage: Blankenship’s ‘Cocaine Mitch’ Ad

If it’s any consolation to his low polling numbers, Don Blankenship is the first-ever politician to get two Late Show ‘Profiles in Discourage’ segment.

Watch Stormy

See what I did there? Stephen Colbert calls his segments “Stormy Watch” and I switched it around.

Ok, look- the important thing about my jokes is that they amuse me.

Massey Energy Company

Therapy

Billy Dee

The Electric Twitter Machine

Foreplay

Weekend Update

The Winner of the Peter Cushing Look-A-Like Contest

Social Media

NBA Playoffs

Customer Service

Dominos

The Breakfast Club (meatballs)

Welcome to The Breakfast Club! We’re a disorganized group of rebel lefties who hang out and chat if and when we’re not too hungover we’ve been bailed out we’re not too exhausted from last night’s (CENSORED) the caffeine kicks in. Join us every weekday morning at 9am (ET) and weekend morning at 10:30am (ET) to talk about current news and our boring lives and to make fun of LaEscapee! If we are ever running late, it’s PhilJD’s fault.

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AP’s Today in History for May 6th

The hydrogen-filled airship Hindenburg explodes and crashes; Psychologist Sigmund Freud and actor-director Orson Welles born; Roger Bannister is the first athlete to run a mile in fewer than four minutes.

 

Breakfast Tune The Pogues – The band played waltzing matilda

 

Something to think about, Breakfast News & Blogs below

 
New Bipartisan Bill Could Give Any President the Power to Imprison U.S. Citizens in Military Detention Forever
Jon Schwarz, The Intercept

ONE OF THE most outrageous acts of Barack Obama’s presidency was his failure to veto the National Defense Authorization Act for fiscal year 2012.

The fiscal year 2012 NDAA included provisions that appeared to both codify and expand a power the executive branch had previously claimed to possess — namely, the power to hold individuals, including U.S. citizens, in military detention indefinitely — based on the Authorization to Use Military Force passed by Congress three days after 9/11.

The New York Times warned that the bill could “give future presidents the authority to throw American citizens into prison for life without charges or a trial.” Not surprisingly, Obama’s decision generated enormous outcry across the political spectrum, from Rep. Ron Paul, R-Texas, on the right to Sen. Bernie Sanders, I-Vt., on the left.

However, the NDAA did provide some weak restraints on the executive branch’s ability to use this power. In theory, the NDAA’s provisions only apply to someone involved with the 9/11 attacks or who “substantially supported al-Qaeda, the Taliban, or associated forces.”

But now, incredibly enough, a bipartisan group of six lawmakers, led by Sens. Bob Corker, R-Tenn., and Tim Kaine, D-Va., is proposing a new AUMF that would greatly expand who the president can place in indefinite military detention, all in the name of restricting presidential power. If the Corker-Kaine bill becomes law as currently written, any president, including Donald Trump, could plausibly claim extraordinarily broad power to order the military to imprison any U.S. citizen, captured in America or not, and hold them without charges essentially forever.

 
Spy agency NSA triples collection of U.S. phone records: official report
Dustin Volz, Reuters

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – The U.S. National Security Agency collected 534 million records of phone calls and text messages of Americans last year, more than triple gathered in 2016, a U.S. intelligence agency report released on Friday said.

The sharp increase from 151 million occurred during the second full year of a new surveillance system established at the spy agency after U.S. lawmakers passed a law in 2015 that sought to limit its ability to collect such records in bulk.

The spike in collection of call records coincided with an increase reported on Friday across other surveillance methods, raising questions from some privacy advocates who are concerned about potential government overreach and intrusion into the lives of U.S. citizens.

The 2017 call records tally remained far less than an estimated billions of records collected per day under the NSA’s old bulk surveillance system, which was exposed by former U.S. intelligence contractor Edward Snowden in 2013.

 
How Medicaid work requirements can exempt rural whites but not urban blacks
Dylan Scott, Vox

When the Trump administration announced it would allow states to institute Medicaid work requirements, policy experts warned that it could lead to racial discrimination. A proposal in the Michigan legislature that would exempt some counties from the requirement suggests how this could happen.

In Michigan, as the Detroit Free Press’s Nancy Kaffer noted, state lawmakers are pushing a plan that would require Medicaid recipients (with exceptions for the disabled, elderly, and a few other selected populations) to work or search for work at least 29 hours each week. If they fail to meet the work requirement, they could lose Medicaid coverage for a full year.

But the Michigan plan comes with a twist: People who live in counties with higher unemployment rates — above 8.5 percent — are exempted from the requirement. That is likely to lead in practice, as Kaffer observes, to rural whiter counties, where unemployment is higher, getting a break from these work requirements while urban areas with a higher share of black residents would still be subjected to them. Which means that black Medicaid enrollees would be more likely to lose their health insurance.

 
Mick Mulvaney’s Wells Fargo Settlement Lets the Bank Decide How Consumers Are Paid Back
David Dayen, The Intercept

THE BILLION-DOLLAR Wells Fargo settlement reached between the bank and the consumer agency now controlled by Trump adviser Mick Mulvaney has been heralded as evidence that the longtime critic of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau might not burn it to the ground after all. But a closer look at the details of that consent decree reveals that it is set up in such a way that will allow Wells Fargo to set the terms by which defrauded customers can be made whole.

Mulvaney, the CFPB acting director, is under fire for suggesting to bank executives that they need to donate to members of Congress to get heard. Sen. Sherrod Brown called for Mulvaney’s resignation on Wednesday for his explicit endorsement of “pay-to-play” politics. “Banks and payday lenders already have armies of lobbyists on their sides – they don’t need one more,” Brown said.

The senator was responding to comments Mulvaney made at the American Bankers Association conference on Tuesday. “We had a hierarchy in my office in Congress,” Mulvaney said. “If you’re a lobbyist who never gave us money, I didn’t talk to you. If you’re a lobbyist who gave us money, I might talk to you.”

Mulvaney’s remarks are especially jarring considering his treatment of victims of abuse at financial institutions’ hands. Compared to past agency settlements, the new Wells Fargo agreement includes a number of hurdles that appear to make it harder for victims of the bank’s misconduct to get their money back.

 
Teachers to protest at Kentucky Derby, a symbol of state’s inequality
Mike Elk, The Guardian

Teachers’ union activists in a state that saw a dramatic strike last month plan to protest at the running of the Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs on Saturday.

After last month’s Kentucky teachers’ strike, the state Republican majority chose to take control of the heavily black Jefferson county public school system, based in the Louisville area. Governor Matt Bevin said it was because of concerns about finances. Union leaders say Bevin is punishing teachers for striking.

“That sure looks like pure retribution to us,” said National Education Association president Lily Eskelsen García. “Here you have Kentucky lawmakers angry that those upstart teachers demanded that something better is done for school funding and their students.”

To many activists, the Kentucky Derby and its crowd of dignitaries, including Bevin, represent everything wrong with what some consider still a racially divided, Jim Crow state.

“Kentucky does an extremely poor job of grappling with its history of racism. Symbols like the Kentucky Derby matter,” said Attica Scott, the only black woman in the Kentucky statehouse. For years a union organizer, Scott has helped previous protests at the Derby, for the rights of immigrant workers.

 
Tax Cuts Still Don’t Seem to Be Helping Workers
Mark Whitehouse, Bloomberg

Have corporate tax cuts made American workers better off, at least in terms of pay? It’s still pretty hard to see in government employment data.

Let’s be clear: It’s still too early to judge the success of the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act, which President Donald Trump signed into law in December. The important test will be whether it leads companies to do more investment in coming years, boosting the economy’s longer-term growth potential.

That said, the Trump administration has made a big deal out of the tax reform’s effect on workers’ wages, and companies have played along by citing it in their decisions to give raises. So it’s worth seeing whether this is reflected in the aggregate data.

When I checked a couple months ago, I found pretty much zero evidence that companies were increasing wages any more than they otherwise would have. Now that we have data from two more jobs reports, let’s take another look. Overall, wage gains do not appear to have accelerated. From December through April, average hourly earnings increased at an annualized pace of 2.3 percent, significantly slower than in 2017. Here’s a chart showing the annualized gain for each month:

Also, industries getting bigger tax breaks aren’t giving bigger raises. Two months ago, there was no correlation between the size of tax cuts and wage gains across sectors. Now it’s strongly negative. Companies engaged in wholesale trade reduced wages, even though they’re supposed to save 40 percent during the next decade (according to the Penn Wharton Budget Model). Utilities, among the biggest losers in the tax reform, raised wages at a 6.4 percent annualized rate. Here’s a chart:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Something to think about over coffee prozac

Plants ‘talk to’ each other through their roots
Hannah Devlin, The Guardian

Plants use their roots to “listen in” on their neighbours, according to research that adds to evidence that plants have their own unique forms of communication.

The study found that plants in a crowded environment secrete chemicals into the soil that prompt their neighbours to grow more aggressively, presumably to avoid being left in the shade.

“If we have a problem with our neighbours, we can move flat,” said Velemir Ninkovic, an ecologist at the Swedish University of Agricultural Sciences in Uppsala and lead author. “Plants can’t do that. They’ve accepted that and they use signals to avoid competing situations and to prepare for future competition.”

Previously, scientists have shown that when plant leaves are touched as they brush up against the leaves and branches of neighbours they alter their growth strategies. Mature trees have been seen to experience “canopy shyness” and rein in their growth under crowded conditions. Others, take a more combative approach, diverting resources from root growth to expand more rapidly above ground.

The latest study reveals that this behaviour is driven, not just by mechanical cues picked up by leaves, but by chemical secretions in the soil.

The study, published in the journal Plos One, focussed on corn seedlings, which tend to boost growth in a stressed environment. Ninkovic and colleagues simulated the touch of a nearby plant by stroking the leaves for a minute each day using a makeup brush.

When they then removed the plant and placed a new one its growth solution they found that the new plant also diverted its resources to growing more leaves and fewer roots. Seedlings that were planted in growth solution that had previously hosted untouched plants did not show this pattern.

The possibility that plants communicate has surfaced periodically as a crackpot idea – in the 1980s it was suggested that trees send out electrical pulses, called W-waves, when their neighbours were chopped down. However, in recent years, fresh evidence has emerged that plants are constantly sending and receiving signals that scientists are now learning to eavesdrop on. As well as canopy shyness and aggression, plants via thread-like filaments of fungi that connect roots in complex communication networks and are able to detect whether they are surrounded by “strangers” .

‘My whole life has been a lie’: Sweden admits meatballs are Turkish
Jon Henley, The Guardian

Turks have reacted with undisguised glee to what many have described as an official – and certainly long overdue – confession from Stockholm that Sweden’s signature national dish is, in fact, Turkish.

“Those famous Swedish meatballs you get in Ikea are actually Turkish, admits Swedish government,” tweeted TRT World, Turkey’s publicly funded international television news channel.

“Swedish meatballs originally Turkish dish: Swedish government,” said the headline in Hürriyet Daily News, after Sweden’s official national Twitter account, @swedense, came clean last weekend.

“Swedish meatballs are actually based on a recipe King Charles XII brought home from Turkey in the early 18th century,” the Swedish account revealed abruptly and for no immediately apparent reason. “Let’s stick to the facts!”

Turkey’s Anadolu agency seized the chance to speak to Annie Mattsson, of the literature department at Uppsala University, who confirmed that after losing a key battle against Russia in 1709, Charles and the remnants of his army took refuge in what is now Moldova, then part of the Ottoman empire.

Dubbed “the Lion of the North” in a book by the French writer Voltaire and also known as the “Swedish Meteor” for his early military prowess, Charles, who acceded to the throne in 1697 at the age of 15, had bitten off rather more than he could chew by taking on Russia, and spent the following six years in exile in and around present-day Turkey.

Having acquired a taste for the local cuisine, he returned to Sweden in 1714 with the recipe not just for köfte, the spiced lamb and beef meatballs that in time became the Swedish staple köttbullar, but also for the popular stuffed cabbage dish now known in Sweden as kåldolmar.

Charles, who died in 1718 when he was shot in the head while attacking Danish-occupied Norway, is also considered responsible for importing and popularising the Turkish habit of drinking coffee, which became so widespread in Sweden in the later 18th century that King Gustav III briefly banned it.

In Turkey’s meatball capital, Inegöl, this week, a local chef, İbrahim Veysel, told the Doğan news agency it was an honour that the Turkish dish should have become “an example to different cuisines all over the world”.

Others were less happy. Serdar Çam, president of the Turkish Cooperation and Coordination Agency, complained that Ikea, which sells 2m meatballs a day in its in-store restaurants, .

Örjan, the forlorn – though presumably tongue-in-cheek – Swede currently curating the country’s @sweden tourism account, rotated every week, lamented that the news had robbed life of its meaning. “My whole life has been a lie,” he tweeted.

The Longest 2 Minutes In Sports

 

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This was no ordinary homecoming.  This was a do-or-die attempt to lay the ghost of years of rejection from the horse-rearing elite and the literati who sat in those privileged boxes overlooking the track and those unprivileged craven hordes who grovelled around the centre-field where he had suffered as a boy.

The clubhouse as I remember was worse, much worse than I had expected.  It was a mess.  This was supposed to be a smart, horsey clubhouse, oozing with money and gentry, but what I saw had me skulking in corners.  It was worse than the night I spent on Skid Row a month later, back in New York.  My feet crunched broken glass on the floor.  There seemed no difference between a telephone booth and a urinal; both were used for the same purpose.  Foul messages were scrawled in human excrement on the walls and bull-necked men, in what had once been white, but were smeared and stained, seersucker suits, were doing awful things to younger but equally depraved men around every corner.  The place reminded me of a cowshed that hadn’t been cleaned in fifteen years.  Somehow I knew I had to look and observe.  It was my job.  What was I being paid for?  I was lucky to be here.  Lots of people would give their drawing arm to be able to see the actual Kentucky Derby which was now hardly an hour away.  Hunter understood and was watching me as much as he was watching the scene before us.

Something splattered the page I was drawing on and, as I moved to wipe it away, I realized too late it was somebody’s vomit.  During the worst days of the Weimar Republic, when Hitler was rising faster than a bull on heat, George Grosz, the savage satirical painter, had used human shit as a violent method of colouring his drawings.  It is a shade of brown like no other and its use makes an ultimate statement about the subject.

‘Seen enough?’, asked Hunter, pushing me hastily towards an exit that led out to the club enclosure.  I needed a drink.  ‘Er… one more trip to the inner-field Ralph I think,’ I heard Hunter say nervously.  ‘Only another half-hour to the big race.  If we don’t catch the inner-field now, we’ll miss it.’  So we went.

While the scene was as wild here as it had been in the clubhouse, it had a warmer, more human face, more colour and happiness and gay abandon – the difference in atmosphere between Hogarth’s Gin Lane and Beer Street.  One harrowed and death-like the other bloated with booze but animal-healthy.

Who would have thought I was after the gristle, the blood-throbbing veins, poisoned exquisitely by endless self-indulgence, mint juleps, and bourbon.  Hide, anyway, behind the dark shades you predatory piece of raw blubber.

The race was now getting a frenzied response as Dust Commander began to make the running.  Bangles and jewels rattled on suntanned, wobbling flesh and even the pillar men in suits were now on tip-toe, creased skin under double-chins stretched to the limit into long furrows that curved down into tight collars.

Mouths opened and closed and veins pulsed in unison as the frenzy reached its climax.  One or two slumped back as their horses failed, but the mass hysteria rose to a final orgasmic shriek, at last bubbling over into whoops of joy, hugging and back slapping.  I turned to face the track again, but it was all over.  That was it.  The 1970 Kentucky Derby won by Dust Commander with a lead of five lengths – the biggest winning margin since 1946 when Triple Crown Champion, Assault, won the Derby by eight lengths.

‘I think it’s time I was thinking of getting back to New York.  Let’s have a meal somewhere and I can phone the airline for plane times.  What day is it, we seem to have lost a weekend.  I need a drink.’

‘You need a lynching.  You’ve upset my friends and I haven’t written a goddamn word.  I’ve been too busy looking after you.  Your work here is done.  I can never come back here again.  This whole thing will probably finish me as a writer.  I have no story.’

‘Well I know we got a bit pissed and let things slip a bit but there’s lots of colour.  Lots happened.’

‘Holy Shit!  You scumbag!  This is Kentucky, not Skid Row.  I love these people.  They are my friends and you treated them like scum.’

Ralph Steadman- The Joke’s Over

If you want to you can watch the Kentucky Derby on NBC.

I suppose this is good thing since you can hardly be expected to follow Horse Racing unless you’re a tout or plunger in one of the few forms of gambling deemed socially acceptable (as opposed to Poker, which is not gambling at all) and 2 year olds don’t have much of a record to handicap.

This year the favorite is Justify, but he’s not a strong one. Joe Drape at the New York Times picks Bolt d’Oro, My Boy Jack, and Noble Indy; Melissa Hoppert picks Good Magic, Justify, and Hofburg. That link has takes on every horse in the field.

The Washington Post reminds us the track will be muddy (again, trending to “sloppy”) and suggests you consider Bolt d’Oro, Justify, or Firenze Fire on that basis.

But it’s really mostly an excuse to wear hats that would be rejected from a 5th Avenue Easter Parade or Royal Wedding and get tanked up on Bourbon that is best sipped with a soda chaser and not muddled up with mint.

Mint Julep

Ingredients

  • 4 cups bourbon
  • 2 bunches fresh spearmint
  • 1 cup distilled water
  • 1 cup granulated sugar
  • Powdered sugar

Directions

To prepare mint extract, remove about 40 small mint leaves. Wash and place in a small bowl. Cover with 3 ounces bourbon. Allow the leaves to soak for 15 minutes. Then gather the leaves in paper toweling. Thoroughly wring the mint over the bowl of whisky. Dip the bundle again and repeat the process several times.

To prepare simple syrup, mix 1 cup of granulated sugar and 1 cup of distilled water in a small saucepan. Heat to dissolve sugar. Stir constantly so the sugar does not burn. Set aside to cool.

To prepare mint julep mixture, pour 3 1/2 cups of bourbon into a large glass bowl or glass pitcher. Add 1 cup of the simple syrup to the bourbon.

Now begin adding the mint extract 1 tablespoon at a time to the julep mixture. Each batch of mint extract is different, so you must taste and smell after each tablespoon is added. You are looking for a soft mint aroma and taste-generally about 3 tablespoons. When you think it’s right, pour the whole mixture back into the empty liter bottle and refrigerate it for at least 24 hours to “marry” the flavors.

To serve the julep, fill each glass (preferably a silver mint julep cup) 1/2 full with shaved ice. Insert a spring of mint and then pack in more ice to about 1-inch over the top of the cup. Then, insert a straw that has been cut to 1-inch above the top of the cup so the nose is forced close to the mint when sipping the julep.

When frost forms on the cup, pour the refrigerated julep mixture over the ice and add a sprinkle of powdered sugar to the top of the ice. Serve immediately.

I suppose I might mention this is the 144th edition and ask you all rise for perhaps the most racist anthem in sports.

The sun shines bright in the old Kentucky home,
‘Tis summer, the darkies are gay,
The corn top’s ripe and the meadows in the bloom,
While the birds make music all the day.
The young folks roll on the little cabin floor,
All merry, all happy and bright:
By’n by Hard Times comes a knocking at the door,
Then my old Kentucky Home, good night!

Weep no more, my lady,
Oh! weep no more to-day!
We will sing one song for the old Kentucky Home,
For the old Kentucky Home far away.

They hunt no more for possum and the coon
On the meadow, the hill, and the shore,
They sing no more by the glimmer of the moon,
On the bench by the old cabin door.
The day goes by like a shadow o’re the heart,
With sorrow where all was delight:
The time has come when the darkies have to part,
Then my old Kentucky Home, good-night!

Weep no more, my lady,
Oh! weep no more to-day!
We will sing one song for the old Kentucky Home,
For the old Kentucky Home far away.

The head must bow and the back will have to bend,
Wherever the darkey may go:
A few more days, and the trouble all will end
In the field where the sugar-canes grow.
A few more days for to tote the weary load,
No matter, ’twill never be light,
A few more days till we totter on the road,
Then my old Kentucky Home, good-night!

Weep no more, my lady,
Oh! weep no more to-day!
We will sing one song for the old Kentucky Home,
For the old Kentucky Home far away.

It is made no better for having been composed by Stephen Foster.

It might be interesting to mention that this is the 50th anniversary of Dancer’s Image’s victory which was subsequently rescinded for a failed drug test. What makes it interesting is the speculation that the horse was sabotaged because Pete Fuller, the owner, supported Coretta Scott King following her husband’s assassination in Memphis.

Cinco de Mayo: They Won The Battle But Lost The War

This article was adapted from the original that was published on May 5, 2011. It is a brief history of the origins of the Cinco de Mayo holiday which is not Mexico’s Independence Day.

On this day in 1862, the Mexican Army defeated the French forces at the Battle of Puebla

Certain that French victory would come swiftly in Mexico, 6,000 French troops under General Charles Latrille de Lorencez set out to attack Puebla de Los Angeles. From his new headquarters in the north, Juarez rounded up a rag-tag force of loyal men and sent them to Puebla. Led by Texas-born General Zaragoza, the 2,000 Mexicans fortified the town and prepared for the French assault. On the fifth of May, 1862, Lorencez drew his army, well-provisioned and supported by heavy artillery, before the city of Puebla and began their assault from the north. The battle lasted from daybreak to early evening, and when the French finally retreated they had lost nearly 500 soldiers to the fewer than 100 Mexicans killed.

Although not a major strategic victory in the overall war against the French, Zaragoza’s victory at Puebla tightened Mexican resistance, and six years later France withdrew. The same year, Austrian Archduke Ferdinand Maximilian, who had been installed as emperor of Mexico by Napoleon in 1864, was captured and executed by Juarez’ forces. Puebla de Los Angeles, the site of Zaragoza’s historic victory, was renamed Puebla de Zaragoza in honor of the general.

Mexico

Cinco de Mayo is a regional holiday limited primarily to the state of Puebla. There is some limited recognition of the holiday in other parts of the country.

United States

In a 1998 study in the Journal of American Culture it was reported that there were more than 120 official U.S. celebrations of Cinco de Mayo, and they could be found in 21 different states. An update in 2006, found that the number of official Cinco de Mayo events was 150 or more, according to Jose Alamillo, professor of ethnic studies at Washington State University in Pullman, who has studied the cultural impact of Cinco de Mayo north of the border.

In the United States Cinco de Mayo has taken on a significance beyond that in Mexico. The date is perhaps best recognized in the United States as a date to celebrate the culture and experiences of Americans of Mexican ancestry, much as St. Patrick’s Day, Oktoberfest, and the Chinese New Year are used to celebrate those of Irish, German, and Chinese ancestry respectively. Similar to those holidays, Cinco de Mayo is observed by many Americans regardless of ethnic origin. Celebrations tend to draw both from traditional Mexican symbols, such as the Virgen de Guadalupe, and from prominent figures of Mexican descent in the United States, including Cesar Chavez. To celebrate, many display Cinco de Mayo banners while school districts hold special events to educate pupils about its historical significance. Special events and celebrations highlight Mexican culture, especially in its music and regional dancing. Examples include baile folklorico and mariachi demonstrations held annually at the Plaza del Pueblo de Los Angeles, near Olvera Street. Commercial interests in the United States have capitalized on the celebration, advertising Mexican products and services, with an emphasis on beverages, foods, and music.

Cinco de Mayo

Reprinted from 5/5/2012

The name simply means “The Fifth of May” and it’s an oddly U.S. American holiday.

Except in the State of Puebla they don’t much celebrate the victory over the French at the Battle of Puebla in Mexico which makes it much more like Patriot’s Day that we here in New England get to celebrate almost every year as an extra filing day (I understand there’s also a foot race in Boston).

Interestingly enough it was a stand up fight against the banksters which they lost (those who do not remember history…).  Some people say that the French intervention was intended to establish a supply line to aid the Slave Owner’s Rebellion (or as the more charitable put it, The War of the Rebellion).

Not Congressionally recognized until 2005, celebrations started in California as early as the mid 1860s and for over 100 years were most common in Southwestern States with a large population of people of Mexican descent.  Now of course it’s just another excuse to over consume the cheap crappy Tequila and Beer that Mexico exports (don’t get me wrong, there are good Mexican Beers and Tequila but Corona, Dos Equis, and Jose Cuervo are not them) and ignore real, actual factual Mexican history because we’re so fucking exceptional that understanding and caring about the countries we border is as beneath us as even knowing which ones they are.

Just don’t mistake it for Grito de Dolores.

The Breakfast Club (Midnight Margaritas)

Welcome to The Breakfast Club! We’re a disorganized group of rebel lefties who hang out and chat if and when we’re not too hungover we’ve been bailed out we’re not too exhausted from last night’s (CENSORED) the caffeine kicks in. Join us every weekday morning at 9am (ET) and weekend morning at 10:00am (ET) (or whenever we get around to it) to talk about current news and our boring lives and to make fun of LaEscapee! If we are ever running late, it’s PhilJD’s fault.

 photo stress free zone_zps7hlsflkj.jpg

This Day in History

Alan Shepard becomes the first American in space; France’s Napoleon Bonaparte dies; Philosopher Karl Marx born; IRA member Bobby Sands during a prison hunger strike; Carnegie Hall opens in New York.

Breakfast Tunes

Something to Think about over Coffee Prozac

Social progress can be measured by the social position of the female sex.

Karl Marx (5 May 1818 – 14 March 1883)

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The Trusty Gaslight

Rudy, Rudy, Rudy

Court Mandates

Persecution!

Confessions

Golfing

Umm… actually, Boy Scouts is exactly like this. That’s why I wanted to be a Girl Scout.

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