Tag: conspiracies

   

Yesterday, I wrote (in the third person) to tell you with certainty that I had won the Mega Zillions jackport, more than $500 million.  Some of you greeted this news with your usual skepticism. I didn’t mind. You were clearly mistaken. And anyway, I was on my way to the bank.

I awoke this morning to discover to my shock and anger that nobody, that’s right, nobody was camped at my kitchen door waiting for the nouveau nouveau riche (me) to arise and to begin to dispense money in accord with my vaunted, self declared philanthropic inclinations.  No. That did not happen. Nobody was there.

Why was nobody there, you have the nerve to ask? Because a vast conspiracy had emerged over night and through connivance had deprived me of my winnings. In fact, of all of my winnings. Not only that. They gave my money to their minions in other states far from here.

This shall not stand. I demand a full investigation of this fraud. And I want my $5 back.

[NOTE: UPDATE: CT edscan has been banned was issued a Sternly Worded Warning from dKos. Could the words of such an unpopular an essayist as me have been any more prescient?]

During the election campaign, I met my fair share of people spouting the emailed Republican talking points. I could discern them, not because anyone I knew personally was idiot enough to send them to me, but because I learned of them through various internet sites. My friends, neighbors and family – politically in sync or not – also knew better than to forward such tripe to my inbox, thus, none did.

Last night, at the most unlikely of places imaginable (at least for me), I met my first flesh-and-blood CT.

The conversation started innocently enough with dog talk at the local dog park followed by discussion of the economy and the bailout. Then, the worm turned to politics. Not just any politics – Texas-style politics.