For the next sixty seconds, this blog will conduct a test of the Netroots Emergency Broadcast System. This is only a test.
Progressives in your area, in voluntary cooperation with the Centers for Disease Control and other mental health authorities, have developed this system to keep you informed in the event of a mental health emergency.
If this had been an actual mental health emergency, you would have been . . .
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We interrupt this test to bring you breaking mental health emergency news.
As this chart reveals . . .
a serious mental health crisis is now gripping America. It’s official. Nationwide studies confirm that the brainwave activity of every Republican has flat-lined. Brainwave activity spikes briefly when Republicans feel the urge to yell LIBERAL FASCIST SOCIALISM, but then flat-lines again, until the next time a few Democrats indicate they actually give a flying fuck about average Americans. When this happens, Pavlov’s dog salivates again, a brief brainwave surge occurs somewhere in Republican skulls, and we all have to listen to another outbreak of LIBERAL FASCIST SOCIALISM bellowing.