Gee, nothing could ever possibly go wrong with this:
The Pentagon’s mad science arm may have come up with its most radical project yet. Darpa is looking to re-write the laws of evolution to the military’s advantage, creating “synthetic organisms” that can live forever – or can be killed with the flick of a molecular switch.
As part of its budget for the next year (PDF), Darpa is investing $6 million into a project called BioDesign, with the goal of eliminating “the randomness of natural evolutionary advancement.” The plan would assemble the latest bio-tech knowledge to come up with living, breathing creatures that are genetically engineered to “produce the intended biological effect.” Darpa wants the organisms to be fortified with molecules that bolster cell resistance to death, so that the lab-monsters can “ultimately be programmed to live indefinitely.”
Of course, Darpa’s got to prevent the super-species from being swayed to do enemy work – so they’ll encode loyalty right into DNA, by developing genetically programmed locks to create “tamper proof” cells. Plus, the synthetic organism will be traceable, using some kind of DNA manipulation, “similar to a serial number on a handgun.” And if that doesn’t work, don’t worry. In case Darpa’s plan somehow goes horribly awry, they’re also tossing in a last-resort, genetically-coded kill switch.
Sounds like the procurement guys at DARPA have watched too many sci fi movies. Or too few.
BioDesign.
Why don’t they just call it the Genesis project and be done with it? At least that might get the teabaggers interested.
(tip: sound ON for maximum effect.)
Or maybe The Terminator would be more appropriate?
Frankenstein?
Boys from Brazil?
Jurassic Park?
Bladerunner?
Take your pick.
Earth to DARPA: when it comes to genetic weaponry, happy endings only ever happen in the movies.
Update:
And speaking of genetically engineered killing machines, we certainly can’t forget these guys:
The Dalek Project fits quite nicely, I think.