Oh hell, let’s just do what we always do. Hijack some nuclear weapons and hold the world hostage. Yeah? Good! Gentlemen, it has come to my attention that a breakaway Russian Republic called Kreplachistan will be transferring a nuclear warhead to the United Nations in a few days. Here’s the plan. We get the warhead …
Tag: ek Politics
Nov 08 2019
Greetings Comerades!
We are so very pleased and excited your Unindicted Co-conspirator Bottomless Pinocchio has decided to join us celebrating the great successes of the Soviet Working Classes Rapacious Oligarchs Benevolent Capitalist system under our virile and handsome leader, Vladimir Putin. You see, May Day is not just a parade of potentially Potemkin propaganda but probably not …
Nov 07 2019
A Good Night
Did I mention we had a Dem blowout in Stars Hollow? Being civilized we have minimum minority representation (ok, if you must know I’m philisophically against it because I consider it a barrier to Third Parties) and the Thugs are dead stop against the limit. TMC asked me what would have happened if I had …
Nov 06 2019
Oak Island- 2019
Ok, so Oak Island is back. Dan Blankenship is dead to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner. Scrooge signed it: and Scrooge’s name was good upon ’Change, for anything he chose to put his …
Nov 05 2019
Vote!
I encourage you to do it, I don’t tell you who. Here in Stars Hollow it’s always hard. I hate to say it but Taylor Doose is a Democrat, Miss Patty Republican for reasons I won’t explain but involve several South American countries I’ve recently been re-admitted to. Stars Hollow itself has been Democratic since …
Nov 05 2019
String Theory
You know, I’m going for cute, adorable kitties here but in a nutshell- So let’s say you accept bosonic quanta have a supersymmetry (as Inigo says, “There is too much.” Just replace it with “Grandpa Blaine’s Old Ram” and get a sufficient drunk on and soon you’ll be reminiscing about Miss Wagner’s glass eye that …
Nov 04 2019
Profound Constitutional Questions
If a President lurches into, say Main Street USA straight out of Cinderella’s Castle in Orlando (because I certainly wouldn’t like to be accused of coastalism), grabs a baby (White baby, hate that it would make a difference) from a stroller, and tears out its heart and starts eating it, still vainly pumping, while the …
Nov 04 2019
Sean Spicer- Out Of Comptrol
Look, I never, ever watch Dancing With The Stars but really, REALLY? It’s not like he has a hidden talent for it, it must be the guilty pleasure at watching a penguin waddle out and knowing that at least now you won’t be the worst one. I mean seriously, is there like a Wormhole Singularity …
Nov 03 2019
‘What Is Best In Life?’
Crush your enemies. Crush your enemies. And see them driven before you… Never work an act after kids or dogs. Unless you have Gracie dancing backward in high heels. See? I write fluently in 7 languages. Six of them are Computer. Look left. Look right. Look up. Only one of you will be graduating from …
Nov 02 2019
The Big Dark
The end of Daylight Savings means little to me as I run on a mixture of Atlantic TZ, crystal meth, and passed out exhaustion in the best of times and these are not those. These are the times my Therapist wants 2 a weeks with daily light box and my family has been instructed to …
Nov 02 2019
In Other News- Bambi Meets Godzilla
History shows again and again how nature points out the folly of man. 7th Century (BCE) Tech faces off against Tim “Tool Time” Taylor, Al, and the good folks at Binford who can solve all your border crossing needs with their complete line of ladders, reciprocating saws, and earthmoving equipment rentals (Parker “How deep do …
Nov 01 2019
Beto Bounced
Now, go and beat Cornyn and help take over the Senate yah big galoot. Beto O’Rourke Is Dropping Out of the Presidential Race By Alexander Burns, The New York Times Nov. 1, 2019 Former Representative Beto O’Rourke of Texas is dropping out of the presidential race, ending a campaign in which he struggled for months …