I hope I don’t have to remind you why you should favor the Packers against every team out there. They are the only professional sports franchise in the United States that is community owned. The Bears are the Bears, traditional Packers rivals. This should be a no brainer, the Pack is playoff bound though their …
Tag: ek Holiday
Nov 26 2015
T-Day Throwball 2015: Panthers @ ‘Boys
You know, 3 years out of 4 I would have been right. So now the ‘Boys and it’s always a pleasure to root against them because they have the most obnoxious fans in Throwball and that’s saying quite a lot in a sport based on violence and concussions that actively encourages parking lot drinking binges. …
Nov 26 2015
Musical Accompaniment
This song is called Alice’s Restaurant, and it’s about Alice, and the restaurant, but Alice’s Restaurant is not the name of the restaurant; that’s just the name of the song, and that’s why I call the song Alice’s Restaurant. You can get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant You can get anything you want at …
Nov 26 2015
T-Day Throwball 2015: Eagles @ Lions
So I can root for the Lions with a clear conscience today because they’re playing the Eagles and I despise them. Yes, it’s time to decide which teams you hate the most again and for me to get used to live blogging Throwball so it’s all good except that I’m totally stressed by the holiday …
Nov 26 2015
Big Balloon Parade!
What?! You don’t have one in your home town? You see, the thing you big state people have to understand is that no place in Connecticut is more than an hour and a half away. My Aunty Mame used to ask me, “So, do you hang out in New Haven (home of Benedict Arnold, my …
Nov 25 2015
Family Values
You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides, you will play golf, and enjoy hot hors d’oeuvres. My people will have pain …
Nov 24 2015
Turkey Loaf
Yoob a dinkadee a dinkadoo a dinkadee A dinkadoo a dinkadee a dinkadoo Morp! Morp! Morp! Us Scandinavian Bachelor Chefs (h/t CompoundF) frequently find ourselves in the position of needing a last minute substitute for real food because planning ahead is not one of our strengths (if it were we probably wouldn’t be Bachelors anymore). …
Sep 19 2015
It Be International Talk Like A Pirate Day!
| The Pastafarian Service Council wants to remind you that today, September 19th, be International Talk Like A Pirate Day.
As Slushy the Polar Bear says- |
Ahoy mateys. It be Cap’n Hank Bloodbeard hijacking your blog ag’in. Since the establishin’ of International Talk Like a Pirate Day in 1995, the number of Pirates has increased gratifyin’ly thereby proving the success of our Pastafarian Pirate Recruitin’ Program and confirmin’ the link between increased piracy and declinin’ Global Warmin’.
But wait ye say, Global Warmin’ has gotten worse and Pastafarianism is a made up religion contrived out of equal measures of ennui, ignorance and Rum!
WHY IS THERE NEVER ANY RUM! Oh, that’s why.
Ye scurvy dog, them be fightin’ wards. Ye’ll walk the plank. I’ll keelhaul ye. I’ll see your black hearted soul in Davey Jones Locker (the one ‘e shares w’ Peter Toth).
We used to worry about that too until we took up w’ a crew o’ Freshwater Pirates from the Chicago School who explained that it doesn’t matter how consistently and thoroughly wrong ye are if ye suck up to rich people enough and parrot their prejudices, beat down the po’ folk until morale improves, and kiss their ass long and hard. Take what ye can, give nothin’ back, yo ho.
Polly want a grant?
E’en on these shores Cap’n Bloodbeard (aside from really enjoyin’ referin’ to hisself in the thard person) be known for ‘is trail of terror and carnage and really bad puns.
I generally celebrate International Talk Like a Pirate Day by telling the 3 Pirate Jokes. There are only 3, all the others are just variations. As Cap’n Slappy says:
Thar be only three pirate jokes in the world. The biggest one is the one that ends with someone usin’ “Arrr” in the punchline. Oh, sure, thar be plenty o’ these, but they’re all the same damn joke.
“What’s the pirate movie rated? – Arrr!”
“What kind o’ socks does a pirate wear? – Arrrrgyle!”
“What’s the problem with the way a pirate speaks? – Arrrrticulation!”…and so forth.
The second joke is the one wear the pirate walks into the bar with a ships wheel attached to the front o’ his trousers. The bartender asks, “What the hell is that ships wheel for?” The pirate says, “I don’t know, but it’s drivin’ me nuts!”
And finally. A little boy is trick or treatin’ on Halloween by himself. He is dressed as a pirate. At one house, a friendly man asks him, “Where are your buccaneers?” The little boy responds, “On either side o’ me ‘buccan’ head!”
And there ye have it. A symposium on pirate humor that’ll last ye a lifetime – so long as life is violent and short.
If ye steer a course to the official website of International Talk Like A Pirate Day, ye may wish to read the FAQ, to help ye splice the mainbrace proper like. Then ye’ll be ready to talk like a pirate.
Talking like a pirate, however, doesn’t just mean running through the hallways yelling “yarr!” at everyone. To get more in touch with one’s inner pirate, here is a short list of useful terms that may help readers throughout their day of pillaging and searching for buried treasure.
I also spend this day in Worship at Church and emulate the manners, customs, and language o’ me Pirate forbearers (I have the good fortune to be 1/4 full blooded Pirate through my Viking ancestors, indeed Viking is a verb which means ‘Pirate’) and singing some Pirate Carols.
There will come a time when you have a chance to do the right thing.
I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.
May 16 2015
Triple Crown: The Middle Child
There is only one thing to think about today and that is justice for Freddie Gray and the other victims of a militarized and out of control Police’s Racist War on Blacks, Hispanics, and the Poor.
A Baltimore Neighborhood, Wary and Healing, Prepares for Preakness Day
By JULIET MACUR, The New York Times
MAY 10, 2015
“They told me that there’s so many things we can do here that it would be really fun for me and my kids,” said Thomas, a 33-year-old single mother of four who works transporting patients at a hospital. “But I don’t know what to think of it. We’ll see. It’s been a tough couple of weeks.”
A tough couple of weeks for the entire city.
Less than a month ago, Freddie Gray, a 25-year-old black man, was arrested in the Sandtown-Winchester neighborhood, about four miles southeast of Pimlico, which sits on the northwest side of the city. Gray fell into a coma while in police custody and later died. Riots and protests followed, including some outside Camden Yards, where in the jittery days after Gray’s death two Orioles games were postponed and another was played behind closed doors.
Six police officers have been charged in connection with Gray’s death, and some residents here predicted that those indictments might quell any protests, at least until the trial. But for now, the wounds in the city and in this neighborhood, where the 140th Preakness will be run on Saturday, are still raw. As race day approaches, many people here remain on edge.
Sometimes sporting events can play a role in healing a city’s wounds, as the baseball games after the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, did in New York City. But the Preakness doesn’t quite fit that role.
A gigantic banner hanging above the racetrack’s main entrance declares the Preakness to be “the people’s race” and “the people’s party.” But those people, for the most part, aren’t from the largely black community around the track, where just gaining admission to the clubhouse and the grandstand will cost you $25 (much more if you want a seat), and where an infield ticket will set you back $70.
“For 50 years, I’ve sat on this porch and have seen people come and go on Preakness day, and most of them are white and rich and look all fancy in their dresses, neckties and shorty-shorts,” said Ruth Spencer, 87, who lives near the corner of Hayward and Winner Avenues, across the street from the track. “But I do love watching the people come by. I feel proud that they’ve come here to my backyard.”
…
But on race weekend, Austin said, the neighborhood was energized by the party atmosphere and the chance to make a bit of quick money. Asked if that fun might be ruined this year by protesters looking to grab the spotlight, Austin laughed.“Oh, no, no,” he said. “Do you know how many police there are here that weekend? There’s one every few feet. Nothing’s going to happen here. Not a thing.”
Austin said that the greatest tension between the residents and the police in recent years had stemmed from a rule that bars the sale of anything on the racetrack side of the street.
The rule was announced a few years ago when signs appeared that read: “No vending. By order of the Baltimore City Police Department.” Residents trying to make a buck on Preakness weekend are still grumbling about that, noting that the police certainly have bigger problems to worry about than octogenarians selling iced tea for a dollar.
…
But Zora said that Gray’s death had changed the way she viewed the police. When she sees a police car drive by now, she said, she can feel her heart beating faster.“Now when I see them, I start thinking, What if they want to fight one of us? What if they want to fight me? And that scares me,” she said, while sitting on a swing at the Pimlico Good Neighbor Park, which on Thursday was so strewn with cups, candy wrappers and potato chip bags that it looked as if a trash bag had exploded.
Thomas said that Zora’s distrust of the police made her sad. And even Baltimore’s mayor, Stephanie Rawlings-Blake, admitted on Wednesday that the police and the community had a “fractured relationship.”
That was why the mayor asked the Justice Department to investigate any unconstitutional abuse or discrimination on the part of the Police Department. That federal investigation is now underway, but in Park Heights and Sandtown-Winchester and many other neighborhoods, a tense truce between the black community and the police will remain the order of the day for a while.
To make the best of the situation, even if it is a short-lived distraction, Thomas said she was considering her neighbor’s suggestions for race day.
“I have a hot dog machine, and a popcorn maker, so I might take them out to see if I can sell some, or maybe make fresh lemonade,” she said with a sigh as her 8-month-old daughter wailed in the background. “Or, I don’t know, maybe not.
“With all that’s happened here in our city, I have really mixed feelings. A lot of people do.”
Yeah, celebrate good times and forget about all the ugliness and oppression, c’mon. Rights? You have no rights a Gold or their jackbooted Sturmtruppen, the Blues and the Greens, are bound to respect. Vive la Ancien Régime.
Even the Derby winner, American Pharoah, has a name that reeks of oligarchic privilege and wears earplugs to dampen the noise of the unwashed masses.
American Pharoah Is a Fan Favorite, but Not Vice Versa
By MELISSA HOPPERT, The New York Times
MAY 15, 2015
During the walkover at the Derby, a tradition that allows contenders’ connections to escort them on the racetrack to the paddock, American Pharoah became so unnerved by the crowd of people around him and the record 170,513 in the stands that it took several grooms to control the dark bay colt.
“The walkover for the Derby has gotten out of control,” said Baffert, who even stuffs fluffy cotton plugs in American Pharoah’s ears before every race to avoid such occurrences. “There’s too many people. It was like walking your horse through Times Square at midnight on New Year’s Eve. And they were yelling and screaming and running next to him and taking pictures, so it got him a little stirred up.”
His aggressive behavior, noted by horseplayers as a bad omen because it saps strength, continued in the paddock and on the racetrack, until he was loaded into the starting gate.
“He started becoming very hyped, and he was using a lot of energy, and I got very nervous because that’s the first time I’ve seen him do that,” his owner, Ahmed Zayat, said.
From the URL- Favorite’s Problem? He hates crowds but packs them in. There is truth in that.
Oh, you want to talk about horse races, not class conciousness. Well, there are only 8 horses in today’s race because if you don’t have a Triple Crown contender, what’s the point? People care more about dogs than they do about horses, and your ever shrinking audience is 1%er’s, gamblers, and the celebrity obsessed. Still, no one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the people.
American Pharoah will not win despite the hype. His stablemate Dortmund is much more stable in temperment, was faster through the length of the shorter Pimlico course, and starts from a more favorable pole position. American Pharoah begins on the rail and will be buried by an avalanche of horses headed for the racing line.
According to The New York Times the field looks like this-
| Gate | Name | Jockey | Odds |
| 1 | American Pharoah | Victor Espinoza | 4-5 |
| 2 | Dortmund | Martin Garcia | 7-2 |
| 3 | Mr. Z | Corey Nakatani | 20-1 |
| 4 | Danzig Moon | Julien Leparoux | 15-1 |
| 5 | Tale of Verve | Joel Rosario | 30-1 |
| 6 | Bodhisattva | Trevor McCarthy | 20-1 |
| 7 | Divining Rod | Javier Castellano | 12-1 |
| 8 | Firing Line | Gary Stevens | 4-1 |
Joe Drape’s picks: Firing Line, Dortmund, American Pharoah
Melissa Hoppert’s picks: Dortmund, American Pharoah, Firing Line
- Actually 2 years older than the Kentucky Derby.
- Shortest in distance (1/16th shorter than the Derby).
- Only the Derby has a larger attendance.
- No Black Eyed Susan has ever been used, currently it’s painted Chysthanthemums.
There have been 34 winners of both the Kentucky Derby and Preakness Stakes including the 11 Triple Crown winners.
Winners don’t get the real Woodlawn Cup to keep, but a half size replica (oh, and the Woodlawn Racing Club is defunct). Black Eyed Susans don’t bloom until 2 months after the Preakness. The Old Clubhouse was destroyed in a fire in 1966. They paint the winner’s racing silks on the weathervane. No one on the internet knows why it’s called the Alibi Breakfast.
I need a drink-
| Black Eyed Susan Recipe (Official, but without the brand names) Ingredients:
Preparation: Fill a highball glass with shaved ice, add the liquors first, then top off with orange juice and sweet and sour mix. Stir and garnish with an orange slice, cherry, and stirrer. |
Post time 6:18 pm ET, coverage starts at 4:30 pm on NBC.
May 10 2015
Happy Mother’s Day
A DocuDharma tradition now on The Stars Hollow Gazette
I tease my mother by calling her Emily after Emily Gilmore both because overall my family reminds me very much of the Gilmores and because she’s never met a brand name she didn’t like whereas I’m perfectly content to buy generic.
I thank her among many things for a thorough grounding in the domestic and other arts.
Mom teaches first grade and is actually famous in a quiet sort of way. The kind parents brag about and angle their kids for though she’s won national awards too. Of course I owe everything I know about educating to her and among my own peers I’m considered an asskicking trainer.
She also insisted we learn to perform routine self maintenance, little things like laundry and ironing, machine and hand mending. basic cooking. Of course she always indulged us with trips to museums and zoos, made sure we got library cards, did the usual bus driver thing to swim practice, had this huge second career as a Brownie/Girl Scout Leader for my sister.
At one point when I was old enough for it to make an impression she took her Masters of Fine Arts in Art of all things, so I know a little Art History with Far Eastern. I understand how to bang out a copper pot and make silver rings because she took me to class once or twice. She liked stained glass so much that she and dad made several pieces (you use a soldering iron and can cut yourself pretty bad so it’s a macho thing too). They also did silk screening which taught me a lot about layout and graphic arts.
But she always liked fabric arts and in addition to a framed three dimensional piece in the living room, there are Afghans and rugs and scarves and pot holders and wash cloths and hats and quilts and dolls.
And the training kits and manuals for her mentorship programs, and the adaptations and costumes for the annual first and fifth grade play. Did I mention she plays 3 instruments, though mostly piano?
She touch types too.
So to Emily, a woman of accomplishment and refinement, Happy Mother’s Day.
May 05 2015
Cinco de Mayo
Reprinted from 5/5/2012
The name simply means “The Fifth of May” and it’s an oddly U.S. American holiday.
Except in the State of Puebla they don’t much celebrate the victory over the French at the Battle of Puebla in Mexico which makes it much more like Patriot’s Day that we here in New England get to celebrate almost every year as an extra filing day (I understand there’s also a foot race in Boston).
Interestingly enough it was a stand up fight against the banksters which they lost (those who do not remember history…). Some people say that the French intervention was intended to establish a supply line to aid the Slave Owner’s Rebellion (or as the more charitable put it, The War of the Rebellion).
Not Congressionally recognized until 2005, celebrations started in California as early as the mid 1860s and for over 100 years were most common in Southwestern States with a large population of people of Mexican descent. Now of course it’s just another excuse to over consume the cheap crappy Tequila and Beer that Mexico exports (don’t get me wrong, there are good Mexican Beers and Tequila but Corona, Dos Equis, and Jose Cuervo are not them) and ignore real, actual factual Mexican history because we’re so fucking exceptional that understanding and caring about the countries we border is as beneath us as even knowing which ones they are.