Tag: ek Holiday

Twenty Two

Oh, where to begin.  Perhaps with the fact that Sochi is a sub-tropical beach resort and all the snow is manufactured.  In it’s own way that’s the perfect metaphor for the Potempkin Village that is the XXII Winter Olympiad.

It’s long been known that the International Olympic Committee is the most corrupt governing body in sports, eclipsing Bernie Ecclestone, FIFA, the NFL, Major League Baseball, and the World Wrestling Federation aggregated in a package.  Indeed this 18 day spectacle will cost more than all the previous Games put together, $51 BILLION, most of which is going into the pockets of Putin’s toadies, sycophants, and cronies because it sure isn’t going into the half finished hotels and venues or the stinky yellow water or the two toilet ‘lover’s stall’ bathrooms.

Then of course there’s the Phineas and Ferb edge-of-insanity, kiss-your-butt-goodbye, gravity’s-a-stone-cold-sucker nightmare rail skate track obstacle course of doom athletic safety issues that have competitors standing at the top of the hill debating whether a shot at what is basically just another Gold Medal that will gather dust in your trophy case until you blow it off to show your Grandkids (assuming you live that long) is worth a career and endorsement ending injury, and some are already saying- no.

There is the threat of terrorism delivered by the #1 sponsor of State terrorism, Saudi Arabia’s Prince Bandar “Bush”, who’s pissed off that because John Kerry’s an idiot who should never have been let near the State Department stupidly told the truth instead of lying the way the House of Saud instructed him and his boss Barack to and has made it impossible (so far) for Saudi backed Al-Queda elements to take over the Syrian government and maintain Saudi (and Wahabi Sunni) dominance in the oil trade under increasing pressure from Shia Iran to be the “swing” producer who can cover shortfalls in periods of high demand and dial back production to jack up the prices when necessary.  That’s why it’s soooo important we bomb, bomb, bomb Iran too.

Oh, and for the record I think Mohammed’s nephew had at least as good a claim to be his spiritual heir as any of the regional warlords they called Caliphs, not that as an atheist I believe in anything except the historical (but non-Western) record of 600 or so C.E.

Anyway, this threat has led Budwieser (Budwieser!) to scale back it’s sponsorship (though they’re contractually obligated for some things) and keep it’s executives away from Sochi where they had expected to do the usual round of boozing and schmoozing favored and potential clients.  Coca Cola on the other hand has no problem with private security guards prominently sporting the ‘Coke’ logo while they beat up protesters for LGBT rights and turn them over to the real cops for a nice Siberian vacation in the Gulag.

And let me state once again for the record that I think Mr. “Perky Nipples” Putin has some issues with his own fantasies.  Big game hunting?  Treasure diving?  Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it’s damn hypocritical which is I suppose the best you can say about a Lt. Colonel in the KGB who spent 16 years torturing and murdering people as a profession.

They are also killing dogs.

You may ask yourself, and I have, why I’ll be covering this at all.  My only answer does me no credit, which is that at the Olympics, every 4 years, you get to see some sports that you never see anyplace else.  For me it’s Curling and Women’s Hockey, you might be into Figure Skating or Biathalon.  Women’s Ski Jumping is making its debut and I’m looking forward to that, there are several technical reasons Women might (in time) come to dominate Ski Jumping just as they dominate long distance swimming today.

Here’s how it will work- every day at about 6 pm I’ll put up the schedule for the next 24 hours.  This will be at some disconnect with actual events because NBC is broadcasting most things on an at least 11 hour time delayed basis so if you have an ignorant friend you want to sucker into a bet you can play the ‘Wire’ scam from The Sting.  

I’ll try to include some suggested alternatives if you are boycotting.  I respect your convictions.

Events of interest that deserve live blogging will be live blogged.  If you’re following something and don’t wish to diary yourself, well, that’s what the comments section is for.

Tonight is fairly simple, Opening Ceremony (broadcast) is scheduled for tomorrow.  This evening we have footage of some sports that start early because of the short schedule of the Games.

8 pm NBC Figure Skating, Snowboarding, Freestyle Skiing

From Sochi, Russia. Figure skating team events: men’s short program, pairs’ short program; snowboarding: men’s and women’s slopestyle; freestyle skiing: women’s moguls.

(Slopestyle == Phineas and Ferb edge-of-insanity, kiss-your-butt-goodbye, gravity’s-a-stone-cold-sucker nightmare rail skate track obstacle course of doom)

Repeats at 1:30 am and 3 am.

XLVIII: Broncos v. Seahawks

Let’s start at the top.  This is not the ‘Reefer Bowl’.  As poblano said Monday this is a pick ’em.  It’s actually incredibly rare that the two top teams in each Conference face each other, rarer still that the top offense (Broncos) faces the top defense (Seahawks).

Now poblano when pressed picks the Seahawks but I suspect that’s mostly based on sentiment and not statistics.  The Seahawks are the only team to have won Championships in both Conferences, but they’ve never really been very good and the rest of the teams in Seattle suck.

The Broncos have yet to recover from the Tebow incident and the Rockies, Avalanche, and Nuggets are legit (as long as they play at home).

Now me?  I agree with bmaz that this game will be decided not by how good the Seahawks defense is- Payton Manning, as much as you may hate him, will score some points.  It will be decided by how good the Bronco defense is and whether Russell Wilson can score more (he was an incredibly excellent draft pick, 75th in the 3rd round and has already performed well above that).  Now good Defense has won Superb Owls before, but the Seahawks is not that much better than the Broncos.  Broncos are 2 point favorites and will need to shut down the Seahawks ground game.

Weather will not be a factor though it might rain a little.

Now I know some of you are not at all interested in the Superb Owl and are looking to avoid it at all costs.  Here are some suggestions-

Alternative TV

And I know some of you watch it just for the ads ($4 Million for 30 seconds last I looked)-

Ads

You can always count on The Guardian to provide an offbeat take on American Throwball-

Funny

And serious ones too-

Why the NFL is a Billionaire Scam

The New York Times coverage is by comparison thin (WaPo non-existent, they’re too concerned about their imploding franchise).

This piece is an interesting comparison to the Wall Street Casino-

Big Time Betting

They also have a couple of interesting analysis pieces-

Matchups

The Superb Owl below.

Puppy Bowl X

If you’ve been a faithful reader you’ll know this site was an early adopter of the animal excitement and pageantry that is the Puppy Bowl experience.  Starting at 3 pm Zap2It is listing 3 two hour installments on Animal Planet as “New”- First and Goal, Going for 2, and Third & Long to be repeated at 9 pm with an additional repeat of First and Goal at 3 am.  I think it’s highly likely this is just a marketing ploy and it’s the same 2 hours on continuous repeat as it’s been in previous years.

Meep the Cockatiel will be back as ‘tweeter'(@MeepTheBird) but the Hedgehog Cheerleaders have been replaced by Penguins.  The National Anthem will be accompanied by a Police Dog Escort.  ‘Lil Bub’ the “‘perma-kitten’ dwarf cat” is added as a commentator and there is a new Puppy Bowl Fantasy League on the official Puppy Bowl web site.

Bissell Kitty Halftime

The featured performer this year is ‘Keyboard Cat’ who will be covering Bruno Mars’ Locked Out of Heaven about which Rolling Stone Magazine had this to say-

On the other halftime show with Bruno Mars – or the other Bruno Mars – they added Red Hot Chili Peppers just last week, because they were feeling the heat when we announced that Keyboard Cat was going to be on.

Keyboard Cat is the second of that nick, the original ‘Fatso’ Keyboard Cat having sadly passed over the Rainbow Bridge in 1987.

The show will open with a kitty parachuting into the Stadium, include over 30 kitties, feature a domino cascade, and the big finish is a pyramid of 30 cats (and you know how hard they are to herd).

Over 66 puppies will be competing this year, 13 of whom had the chance to participate in a special training camp with Michelle, Bo, and Sunny Obama (also in Politico).

This year the Puppy Bowl faces two new rivals– the Kitten Bowl on Hallmark and the Fish Bowl on National Geographic WILD, but at 12.4 Million viewers the Puppy Bowl is the clear leader.

Groundhog Day

What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?

That about sums it up for me.

Ned?  Ned Ryerson?!

You like boats, but not the ocean. You go to a lake in summer with your family up in the mountains. There’s a long wooden dock and a boathouse with boards missing from the roof, and a place you used to crawl underneath to be alone. You’re a sucker for French poetry and rhinestones. You’re very generous. You’re kind to strangers and children, and when you stand in the snow you look like an angel.

How are you doing this?

I told you. I wake up every day, right here, right in Punxsutawney, and it’s always February 2nd, and there’s nothing I can do about it.

How appropriate

It’s the Mind

Groundhog Day

What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?

That about sums it up for me.

Ned?  Ned Ryerson?!

You like boats, but not the ocean. You go to a lake in summer with your family up in the mountains. There’s a long wooden dock and a boathouse with boards missing from the roof, and a place you used to crawl underneath to be alone. You’re a sucker for French poetry and rhinestones. You’re very generous. You’re kind to strangers and children, and when you stand in the snow you look like an angel.

How are you doing this?

I told you. I wake up every day, right here, right in Punxsutawney, and it’s always February 2nd, and there’s nothing I can do about it.

How appropriate

It’s the Mind

State of the Union Open Thread

I have a sneaking suspicion that many regular readers of this site will be as little interested in #6 as they were in the previous 5.  If you feel compelled to share your outrage or something unexpectedly interesting occurs you’re more than welcome to share it below.

On the other hand perhaps you’re just looking for some alternative programming-

ABC Family Ravenswood AMC The Bourne Identity
BBCA ST: TNG CBS Sports Women’s College Hoopies, Louisville @ Rutgers
CMT Smokey and the Bandit Discovery Moonshiners
Disney XD Jessie Encore Independence Day
ESPN Men’s College Hoopies Kentucky @ LSU ESPN2 College Throwball All Star Challenge
Food Chopped FX X-Men: First Class
G4 Heros History Counting Cars
Hub The Karate Kid IFC Cheech & Chong’s Animated Movie
Vs. NHL Hockey Capitals @ Sabres Nick Full House
Nicktoons Fairly OddParents Science Survivorman
Spike The Day After Tomorrow SciFi Face Off
TBS Big Bang Theory Turner Classic Movies Gambit
TNT Castle

(listings from Zap2It)

2014 Throwball Conference Championships: Patsies @ Ponies

I suppose I should feel more enthused about this, after all I hate the Patsies with the burning hatred of a thousand suns.

On the other hand Tebow.

On the third hand the Patsies gave him a shot after the Ponies passed on him finally.

I’m conflicted.

And it’s just a Throwball Game finally.  Fuck the ‘gators.

2014 Throwball Conference Playoffs: Chargers @ Broncos

On paper the Ponies should have no problem, after all they have the Payton Manning who is the most over rated Quarterback in the NFL.

That said, I just can’t see the Chargers winning this one.  The Broncos have a great program.  On the other hand the Chargers have already won at Mile High, and played them close in San Diego.

2014 Throwball Conference Playoffs: ‘9ers @ Panthers

This may be quite the upset.  The Panthers won the in-season clash, but by a mere 10 – 9 margin in a defensive struggle.  The ‘9ers are healthier than they were back then whereas the Panthers may have lost wide-out Steve Smith.

I suppose I hate the ‘9ers more in this one for abandoning Candlestick Park.  The Panthers on the other hand own their own stadium, something few NFL teams can boast.

2014 Throwball Conference Playoffs: Bolts @ Patsies

This is the hard one.  Despite my deep and abiding hatred of the Patsies for the way Bob Kraft treated Hartford I have to say what Irsay did to Baltimore was worse.  I can root against the Patsies next round.

Not that the outcome is in doubt.  The Wildcard Bolts just don’t have Tom Brady and that’s it.  Besides, if you want to see another Manning/Brady matchup you have to hope the Bolts and the Chargers go down.

2014 Throwball Conference Playoffs: Saints @ Seahawks

The Seahawks have the loudest stadium in the NFL.  The Saints at least have some experience playing in it though their last result wasn’t exactly outstanding, a 7 – 34 loss.

There are lots of sentimental reasons to root for the Saints, but all the smart money is on the Seahawks as you would expect from the top seed in the NFC.  You might argue that a short week is a disadvantage though is just as likely that the bye week is a greater liability.

The Seahawks are a straight expansion team founded in 1976 and there’s no particular reason to hate them (unless you’re a ‘9ers fan).  The Who Dats are another expansion from 1967 and after years of obscure futility started to show some life after Katrina under Quarterback Drew Brees.

2014 Thowball Wild Card- ‘9ers @ Packers

An easy pick.  Have I mentioned recently that I’m only half troll?  You see in Michigan a troll is anyone who’s from under the Mackinaw Island bridge.  If you were born in God’s country, which is the Upper Peninsula, they may call you a Yooper but what do you care anyway?  They’re trolls!

Now along with that comes certain allegiances- there is only one Football team and that is the Green Bay Packers.

For me it’s not just an accident of birth.  To quote from Wikipedia

The Packers are the only non-profit, community-owned franchise in American professional sports major leagues. Typically, a team is owned by one person, partnership, or corporate entity, i.e., a “team owner.” The lack of a dominant owner has been stated as one of the reasons the Green Bay Packers have never been moved from the city of Green Bay, a city of only 102,313 people as of the 2000 census.



As of June 8, 2005, 112,015 people (representing 4,750,934 shares) can lay claim to a franchise ownership interest. Shares of stock include voting rights, but the redemption price is minimal, no dividends are ever paid, the stock cannot appreciate in value – though private sales often exceed the face value of the stock, and stock ownership brings no season ticket privileges. No shareholder may own over 200,000 shares, a safeguard to ensure that no individual can assume control of the club. To run the corporation, a board of directors is elected by the stockholders.



Green Bay is the only team with this form of ownership structure in the NFL; such ownership is in direct violation of current league rules, which stipulate a limit of 32 owners of one team and one of those owners having a minimum 30% stake. However, the Packers corporation was grandfathered when the NFL’s current ownership policy was established in the 1980s, and are thus exempt. The Packers are also the only American major-league sports franchise to release its financial balance sheet every year.

The ‘9ers are a fine team and San Fransisco a lovely town, but they no longer play there having moved to Santa Clara and ending San Fransisco’s bid for the 2016 Olympic Games about which (to her credit) even Dianne Feinstein is incensed.

They’re unlikely to win anyway as this game will be played on the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field (named for a real human being and not a slave labor exploiting blue jean company), Titletown USA, in conditions projected to rival the fabled Ice Bowl.

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