Tag: ek Holiday

The AFC is shaping up as a Ponies/Patsies showdown if teams play to form.

Last week the Ravens dispatched the Bolts kinda decisively, 24 – 9 in what is more accurately described as an offensive rather than defensive struggle.  Flacco and the Ravens finally put something together while Luck wasn’t able to.

A big deal will be made about the last match-up between Payton Manning and Ray Lewis with Lewis retiring after the season, but the game is more likely to turn on the Ravens offense or lack thereof.  The Ravens changed offensive coordinators just last month because they were so ineffective.

Payton Manning is Payton Manning, not Tebow, and the Broncos are likely to make this a very tough game for Lewis because they don’t suck and can put up a score or two.  On the other hand it bespeaks a kind of institutional idiocy that they hired him in the first place so there is hope for the Carrion Crows.

Still, the Ponies won 34 – 17 in their match-up 4 weeks ago, in part because running back Ray Rice has fumble fingers and didn’t get many calls, and they have one of the best records against the pass in the league.

I’m missing both games today for a holiday party with some of the people I know through my other life as a community organizer.  As always it’s up to you to make your own fun though I’ve tried to encourage a couple of folks to stop by.

Pretty uniforms is how I feel about the Seahawks.

By which I mean painfully ugly but they are an otherwise unobjectionable team no more evil than any other unless they are playing one of my particular favorites and win.

They face the Native Americans who I hate on 3 different levels.

First of all they’re divisional rivals of the Jints that I’d despise just as much as the Evils except they employ fewer dog killers and are generally more hapless and ineffectual.

Second is their racist name I’ve decided not to dignify by repetition.

Third (and I can not emphasize this enough), they are the Village darlings and the fawning bootlicking of the courtier class is bi-partisan and universal.

‘nuf said.

I am going to the movies where I am going to watch actors attempt to sing show tunes and get weepy eyed when I hear anthems like this-

My friend Bobby will be watching while I’m distracted by flickering images.

As I told TMC yesterday (offline, don’t bother looking) throwball is more about who you hate the most.

Today we start with 2 teams either of which is an approprate target for your scorn and derision.

On the one hand we have the Bolts–

(M)any of the prominent old-time Colts, many of whom had settled in the Baltimore area, were bitter and chose to cut all ties to the relocated Colts team. Most notable and vocal among them was Johnny Unitas, who recognized himself solely as a player for the Baltimore Colts until the day he died, with his estate defending that stand to this day.

And on the other we have the Carrion Crows who’s only redeeming feature is that they failed in their attempt to carpetbag away from the land of Cleves before the community was able to reclaim their name.

(T)he agreement stipulated that the Browns’ name, colors, uniform design and franchise records would remain in Cleveland. The franchise history includes Browns club records and connections with Pro Football Hall of Fame players. Modell’s Baltimore team, while retaining all current player contracts, would, for purposes of team history, appear as an expansion team, a “new franchise.”

So Bolts or Crows– slime pit Hell wrestling until they both get their asses kicked.

Sigh.  The not troll in me is strong despite my birth below the bridge and it’s extremely hard to hide my green and gold heritage at times like this so I seldom bother.

I don’t care who they play much, when the pack is on the field I remember things like this–

The Packers are the only non-profit, community-owned major league professional sports team in the United States.

Try as I might I can’t find a topper to that single statement.  Today they face the all purples, but I’m a class warrior over ethnic, bachelor farmers not withstanding however soothing and melifluous their tones.

The Vikings are disadvantaged by the injury of Christian Ponder who may not start and by Lambeau Field, the 12th player.  On the other hand they beat the Pack just last week 37 – 34.

The Bengals were founded by Paul Brown, namesake of the Cleveland Browns, after being booted in a management struggle with Art Modell in the ’60s.

Now the only model Art is if you want to be the epitome of the greedy community blackmailing NFL owner but Paul was no prize either and it would be poetic justice to have the Bengals and Ravens face off and both lose while the souls of their former leaders drown each other in a slime pit in Hell which is why, as surprising as it is, I have some smidge of sympathy for a team from Texas who’s main sin is to choose the largest media market available after the carpetbagging departure of the unlamented Oilers.

Something I didn’t know is that this is exactly the same as last year’s matchup except for the fact that the Texans will be starting their starter instead of their third string back up (btw, they won that game).  They backed into this position in the most humiliating way possible however, losing their last 2 games in embarrassing defeats.

For the Bengals the question is whether Andy Dalton is any better than last year’s 3 picks indicate.

I’m told streaming video is available here but you can’t prove it by me.  Perhaps you have to register, something I’m reluctant to do even though I have several e-mail boxes just for crap like that.

January

February

March

April

May

June

Team Jon finally comes through with the 4th quarter.  Expect more on this breaking story tomorrow.

July

August

September

October

November

December

That’s what you make by cutting an orange in half and scooping out the edible part so you can put fruit salad in it right?

Oh, you are so old school.

It used to mean something, now the parade isn’t even on TV (though they still drive around some of the floats at halftime).  This year’s competitors are Florida State vs. Northern Illinois.

Go Huskies!  Or maybe not, too much New Year.

The Hypnotoad.

"Television is a vast wasteland"

The networks race back to normalcy and I do also.  It takes a week to recover from the holidays.  I hope you all had one as good and safe as I did, see you next year!

This edition covers the 12 hours from 6 pm to 6 am.  Immediate gratification is here.  The previous edition is here.

Why is it the 99th?  Well the Parade started in 1895 and the Throwball game not until 1902.  Plus there are some missing years.

This year we see Stanford (Condi Rice’s place) facing Wisconsin (go Badgers!) for nothing but bragging rights the way it used to was.

Well, for those of you without TV as I was last year KTLA seems to have the best streaming web coverage-

• Rose Parade Stories
• Floats
• Bands

• Live Stream (you’ll need to have javascript enabled)

The Theme this year is Oh the places you’ll go, Ted Geisel’s last and most depressing book (Wikipedia be damned and Lorax and Sneetches not withstanding).

Oh- Wikipedia.

The Official Site

• Floats
• Bands
• Equestrians

The Order of March is below.  This is not necessarily the order you’ll see on TV where ABC, and HGTV start their coverage at 11 am and NBC follows at 11:30.  FamNet has a pre-parade with their coverage starting at 10:30 am.

I’m glad I’m not a member of Lafayette Band Pride of the Bluegrass.

The Hypnotoad.

"Television is a vast wasteland"

This will show me to close my eyes just when magical thinking and rooting could make a difference.  I’ll never change my socks again.

Sigh.

Today’s featured distractions are the 124th Rose Parade, the Rose Bowl, and the ‘Gator Bowl (drink named after the team and not the other way around).

This edition covers the 12 hours from 6 am to 6 pm.  Immediate gratification is here.  The previous edition is here.