She hid behind a couch.
“Good morning, Mrs. Smith,” said the head of Obama’s revitalized Peace Corps. “Sure hope we got the right address this time. You have nothing to be afraid of. We have the Attorney General with us to be sure everything is done in strict accordance with law. We are here to repossess your patented genes that belong to big corporations.”
“Did you have to break down my door?” quavered Mrs. Smith.
“You would be shocked to learn how many people flee from Peace officers and hurt themselves. That fellow sharpening his scalpel in your yard is the Surgeon General. He has had very few fatalities.”
“But aren’t gene patents outlawed?”
“Only for one small biotech so far. Your President is a Harvard lawyer and knows all about that stuff. We all know laws are different for big crooks than small ones. You can ask the Attorney General, if you like, but he has testified to Congress about that and can be rather abrupt when he has to keep repeating himself. Big Pharma has to take possession of its genes though in case some slick shyster objects to Big Pharma being left out. Prudence is always called for in these cases.”
“But I thought people owned their own genes.”
“Humpty Dumpty and Alice have moved to D.C. from Kansas. There was no work for them anymore in Kansas. Kansas is much more of a Wonderland than Washington though Washington is improving. Conservatives are now liberals. Insanity is principled conservatism. I could go on but until Alice and Humpty Dumpty get around to changing patent law, ownership is ownership. I see the Surgeon General has finished sharpening his scalpel. He will just whip out those bad genes in no time. Be happy, Mrs. Smith. I see you have blue eyes. Nobody has patented those mutated blue oncogenes that are associated with a great deal of cancer. There are a lot of those genes. I guess they are still making up lists.”