I have, in case you haven’t noticed, a certain minor problem with insomnia that becomes particularly acute at this time of year when the light is short and changing fast, the weather sucks, and my schedule is stressful.
My body rebels which manifests itself in various physical symptoms of which this is one the I wish to address now.
Because it’s not usually an inability to sleep at all, but rather a vampiric cycle that expresses as surprising energy and stamina when it’s dark and ennui, lassitude, and fatigue during the day. However much sleep I actually get it’s never enough nor does it leave me refreshed.
This results in missed deadlines and inattention to details, and increases my overall level of anxiety and depression because I have unrealistic expectations.
Or at least that’s what my therapists say.
Now eventually the seasons and I reach an accomodation where I have enough time in the morning to make my marks, nap, and continue with my work. We are not yet at that point. Yesterday was dismal and foggy with intermittent rain. The days that were sunny were cold and the snow glare was worse than the summer solstice (you know, you have leaves and stuff, not a 250 Watt light bulb flooding through your windows all day long).
And then there are the unusual distractions (O Canada).
This will get worse before it gets better but like most things it will pass.
And I’m not really complaining, I could have far worse problems and I’m sure many of you do.