An archeological team, digging in Washington DC , has uncovered 10,000 year old bones and fossil remains of what is believed to be the first politician.
Tag: snark
Oct 25 2009
On Being A Government DJ, Or, “Torture? You Call That Torture?”
It’s become more or less common knowledge that US forces have been using music as an operational tool for some time now, and I’ve begun seeing lists of the songs that are being used either to inflict pain, to demoralize, or to just generally disorient various people in various sorts of situations.
There are others, wiser than I, who will opine as to the questions of efficacy and the moral issues surrounding these kinds of operations; I will opine, instead, as to the quality of the songs used.
Frankly, had anyone asked, I could have put the torturers onto much better musical choices, just by selecting from my own “My Music” folder–which left me thinking: “hey, it’s the weekend…why not do exactly that?”
Got any psychological warfare mission planned for the weekend? Expecting to have to direct amplified sound at an angry mob in a defensive maneuver Saturday night? Planning a Halloween haunted house that goes a bit…fuurther?
Come along with me then, soldier, and I’ll provide you a playlist that should do the trick in almost any foreseeable emergency.
Oct 09 2009
Michael Steele: “Where’s Bush’s Nobel Prize?”
Cross posted at Daily Kos
In an hastily-arranged press conference which just ended at the National Press Club, Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele condemned the Nobel Committee for awarding the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize to President Barack Obama of the United States.
Steele offered the following remarks
Hajo de Reijger, Politicalcartoons.com (The Netherlands):: ::
“The Nobel Committee has done a great injustice to all peace-loving people around the world by prematurely awarding this prestigious award to someone who is totally undeserving of it. In fact, the person who is a deserving recipient was the 43rd President of the United States, George W. Bush. Remember him? His vision, governing philosophy, and far-reaching efforts to promote peace and cooperation amongst various nations should have resulted in him, and not Barack Obama, being selected for this international honor.”
More of Chairman Steele’s expanded remarks below the fold.
Sep 26 2009
Hey GOP — Time to Get-a-Clue-is-stan!
KNOCK, KNOCK!
Who’s There?
Chuck.
Chuck WHO?
Chuck Doesnt-have-any-Guts Grassley!
Grassley: “go work for the federal government” for affordable insurance
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v…
Great Advice Mr. Grassley! … Yes, ALL of America — Should go work for the Govt, because that way we’ll all get Good Insurance, finally?
Say Chuck, Do you know what they call it, in Countries where EVERYONE works for the Govt? —
They call it Socialism!
Sep 25 2009
Choice is Good — If you’re a Senator!
Senators can afford to wait for Health Care reform — after all they ALREADY HAVE Health Insurance for their Families!
Trigger? — No Problem!
2013? — Who Cares!
Public Option only for the Few — No Worries … ( — For Them! )
Montana Senators have a wide Menu of Health Care Options, so What’s the Rush?
Health — 2009 Plan Information for Montana
Nationwide Fee-for-Service Open to All
APWU Health Plan (APWU)
Blue Cross and Blue Shield Service Benefit Plan – Standard Option
Blue Cross and Blue Shield Service Benefit Plan – Basic Option
GEHA Benefit Plan (GEHA)
GEHA High Deductible Health Plan
Mail Handlers Benefit Plan
Mail Handlers Benefit Plan (HDHP)
Mail Handlers Benefit Plan Value
NALC
SAMBAState Specific HMO, HDHP and CDHP Plans
Aetna HealthFund (CDHP/HDHP) – South, Southeast & Western MT
New West Health Services – Most of Montana
No shortage of Insurance Options — in Montana!
Sep 25 2009
On Life In The Modern World, Or, What If Jesus Was An HMO?
Those among us who are familiar with the Bible will recall that Jesus Christ himself was an active member of the health care community as he travelled about the Holy Land.
It is reported that he practiced within multiple medical specialties, and his works as both an ophthalmologist and a neurologist are recounted within the verses of the Gospels.
But what if Jesus had been practicing medicine in the therapeutic environment we’re familiar with today?
In today’s conversation we’ll be tagging along with Jesus as he takes a few calls at his HMO’s Customer Care Center-and by the time we get done you should be able to bring a whole new take to those discussions you’ve been having about why reform matters.
Sep 21 2009
The Rapture Arriveth (parrrrrrrrrrty!)
It is definitely today. Or tomorrow. No, today is right. They think. Definitely, certainly, for like totally sure, dudes.
It, like, must be true, man. There are graphs!
There are really, really, hugely BIG colorful words! LOTS of Godly rapturey proofy words!
http://home.flash.net/~evt/rap…
Best proof? Its a trending topic on twitter!
So when you hear the horns tonight, just crank that Marilyn Manson up to window rattling, turn your vibrators on high, and double toke the bong. Wear yourself out and sleep like a baby, because tomorrow we all be reborn!
60-70% of Americans: GONE. All their shit: STILL HERE.
Reborn, I tell you to the land of milk and honey errr hops and buds! I so deserve this punishment sir, I’ve been naughty, naughty, naughty. Leave me behind. Twice if you need to. I’ve been a bad, bad girl. God, you’re the boss, and I just. don’t. listen. You can’t take me.
I deserve the utter hell:
No Faux News reporters, no televangelists, no Republicans, half the Democrats with them, no homophobes, no, well, no nothing that sucks, man. (Other than what you want sucked or to suck! And no one to tell you that’s wrong!)
IT WILL BE THE GARDEN OF EDEN ONCE AGAIN! Oooooops, sshhhhhh. It will be hell, I mean.
And tomorrow……………?
Sep 10 2009
To the Mattresses, People!
I don’t know about you, but the President’s speech last night filled me with a sense of pride. It really did. Obama is a great motivational speaker, and after watching it I just wanted to get on the phone and and help him get this thing done.
Update: And he told us on the left not to fixate on the public option. I’m nothing if not subservient, so I took some notes, and started to write my script for the phone bank……
Sep 08 2009
BREAKING! GOP Alternative to Obama School Speech Leaked
Crossposted at Daily Kos
The following video has been obtained by the MinistryOfTruth from an unconfirmed Republican party source that shall remain anonymous. In order to obtain this highly secret information, the MinistryOfTruth has been forced to do things no MinistryOfTruth should ever have to do.
Guard this information and use it well.
WARNING: Only those with Stupid RW MEME proof socialist issued protective goggles should view the following movies! VERY IMPORTANT!!!
To be played at American schools that refuse to air the socialist indoctrination speech of Hussein Obama
ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!!!!!!
More amazing details below the fold!
Sep 04 2009
Alberto Gonzalez + Classical Music + Snark = EPIC WIN!
This is soooo good I just HAD to share it with my fellow Dharma Bums here at Docudharma.
Meet the PhillyFringeHarmonic, a oof beat classic music troupe who is cuurently featuring their latest work, The GonzalezCantata
This is such a clever Progressive WIN, I just love it.
This was featured on the Rachel Maddow show last night, tickets are on sale this weekend only, so if you are in Philadelphia in the next few weeks you MUST check it out.
Enjoy!
“I Can’t Recall”
“This is not about Alberto Gonzalez”
I wonder if Fredo will be singing this behind bars someday soon. One can only hope.
Cheers.
Aug 14 2009
The GOP’s health care reform
During a staged press conference, the GOP finally rolled out their health care reform plan…
Aug 13 2009
The Flat Earthers have a Right to their Opinions, But That does NOT make them Right!
If you heard this on the TV, would you sit and think, interesting Opinions?
“The facts are simple,” says Charles K. Johnson, president of the International Flat Earth Research Society. “The earth is flat.”
“Nobody knows anything about the true shape of the world,” he contends. “The known, inhabited world is flat.
[…]
the stars are about as far as San Francisco is from Boston.”As shown in a map published by Johnson, the known world is as circular and as flat as a phonograph record. The North Pole is at the center.
http://www.lhup.edu/~dsimanek/…
Or if you heard this loudly stated Opinion, would you think, “Well, They have a Right to their Opinions”
Mr. Johnson, who called himself the last iconoclast, regarded scientists as witch doctors pulling off a gigantic hoax so as to replace religion with science. He based his own ideas on the Old Testament references to a flat earth