Tag: snark

Apparently I have gone over the edge, into an abyss of conspiracy where the devils advocate is just that, a devil.  I can see now that I was somehow born with the programming that has led me into this abyss.  I came of age during the sixties and early seventies when we had the Vietnam war and Civil Rights and the Cold war.  So I suppose I was affected by that in some way.  But evidently there were far many others from that time that were not affected in the same way so it couldn’t have been just that.  Other than that, I’ve lived the “normal” American life with a wife, two kids, a two car garage, a career and of course, a divorce. But I really started toward that abyss about 18 months ago.

That’s when I retired.  I’m fortunate in that respect because I have a pension after a thirty year career.  Of course, then I had lots of time.  I started sitting in front of the computer and learned to Google.  I found a few political websites, the first Huffington Post, then DailyKos.  I started getting into it and enjoyed reading the political stuff.  Then I went to the dark side.  9/11 conspiracy theory stuff, federal reserve conspiracies, antiwar sites, you name it.  It was like getting trapped in the porn section of a major city, not that I would know, I’m just imagining.  

I’m sure this has been covered here at Docudharma, but this is just my take on it. Warning . . . pointed snark alert.

Crossposted at Daily Kos

   If you witness a state, county or town fireworks display this Independence Day, you have enjoyed the fruits of American socialism.

Social welfare, public programs and any service that is not performed to make a profit have often been sold to the uninformed, feeble minded and people who do not read books with big words as Socialism.  Why, everywhere you look there is socialism. From the public water fountain that does not require quarters to operate, to the fireworks going off over your head this evening, everywhere this Independence day you can find a small bit of what some people call “Socialism” free for your benefit and enjoyment.

.

   That’s right.

   What an amazing country we live in!

   Help celebrate America’s rich social history with me below the fold.

Crossposted at http://www.dailykos.com/story/…

Chapter #1

Dear members of the Senate Democratic Caucus, below you will find helpful definitions and other useful tools as you assemble your ability to effective use the tools of a majority party in the US Senate.

Step 1. What is a Majority Party?

   No need to fret little Harry. It’s just this simple.

Majority and minority parties

The “Majority party” is the political party which either has a majority of seats or can form a coalition or caucus with a majority of seats; if two or more parties are tied, the Vice President’s affiliation determines which party is the majority party. The next-largest party is known as the minority party.

Wikipedia.com

Until Texas or Alaska secedes, there are 50 States and 100 Senators in The US Senate. That’s two for every state!

Warning to All Pony Lovers: this may upset you, a LOT!

It may make you want to tar, feather,and banish me forever.

But I cannot pretend any longer.

I don’t like Ponys.

They scare the HELL outa me.

I have Pony PTDS.

And very time I post a comment, someone gives me (shudder) MORE ponies.

I don’t know what to do.

I am also scared to death of HORSES, and the mere thought of running into a (cringe) UNICORN, makes my teeth chatter, even if they’re not in my mouth at the time.

I wasn’t born this way. Once upon a time, I even asked Santa to BRING me a Pony.

I was really pissed when he didn’t.  

I wasn’t born scared of ponies. Or horses.

But that was before I met one of each in person.

My kids wanted a pony. I bought one for them and that’s how I met “Puffin”, the Pony from Hell.

He was one of those pretty miniature ponies. I’d seen some dogs as big as that pony , so I wasn’t a bit scared of him, besides I probably weighed more than HE did.  The guy showed me how to put a bridle and saddle on him. Puffin stood there so patient and docile, such a sweet, gentle boy. With his owner leading, he gave both of my little girls their very first pony ride around our yard. I was so happy! I never got my own pony, but I got one for them and it felt like some long awaited victory!

Then the guy turned him loose in my small fenced in pasture, and left. They were moving out of state the next day.  Later that day, sugar cubes and apples in hand, I went out to get acquainted with Puffin by myself. Being a city girl, I wondered how you call a pony: do you whistle? Say “Here, Pony! Here, Pony?” What?

Puffin finally wandered over to the fence where I was. I held out the sugar cubes. He just looked at them and snorted.  The apple, then? Same thing. He sniffed it, snorted, shook his head then  went right back to standing stock still, staring me right in the eye with a distinctly UNFRIENDLY stare. I gingerly offered the apple again..at which time he dropped his head, knocked the apple to the ground, BIT MY HAND ,then walked a few steps off,turned his back and took a big crap.  

Now I am not stupid. I can read non verbal cues. This pony definitely did NOT like me.

To make a long story short, over the next month I must have run ten thousand miles around that pasture trying to catch that damned pony, to no avail. More than once he turned the tables and chased ME with those big teeth bared! Nothing worked. I made sure he was well fed, well watered, had good shelter and endless treats, all of which he rejected in favor of another bite of my hand.  I spent countless hours sitting by the fence, using my most persuasive communication skills to win his trust, but he’d just stand there munching grass and pooping as if I didn’t exist. Meanwhile, I’m  trying to explain to two tearful little girls that Mommy just can’t CATCH their pony, so they could ride it. Having to look at a pony they could not ride became just too much, SO I found another good home for Puffin, who, it eventually turned out, simply hated women, but not men.

As for HORSES, meet Diamond, a Tennesee Walker, about 16 hands high.  I rented the pasture to his owner, who was flat out determined to teach me to ride a horse. Diamond was gentle, he said, no reason to be afraid of good ol Diamond!  Oh, hell no!  The minute I climbed up onto his back, he reared up, took off like a bat outa hell, and threw me hard into the creek! Dislocated shoulder. Nice horse, that ol Diamond.

So there, now I’ve done it.

I have outed my self as non-pony-lover.

I am aware this may be grounds for banning.

Just please don’t give me any more ponies.

give them to each other instead.

Please?

 

From a mud caked Hello Kitty diary found by a stream:

New Galt Gulch – Day One!!!

Well we did it, just like Ms. Rand suggested we have left behind all the penalties that are being imposed on the creative people by the heinous Obama administration. Let’s see how they like it when their society falls apart!

Here in NGG we are sure that we are just the first of the those that will drop out and make our own new way of living. Diary, you can not believe who is with us here! We have Michelle Malkin and her hubby, former Gov. Mark Sanford, and best of all Rush Limbaugh!!! He really is as big in real life as he looks on TV.

Things are a little Spartan, what with everyone setting up their campaign equipment from Lands End, but no doubt with all these creative people we will have new mansions in short order! Must run Diary, Limbaugh is hosting a first night Luau! You can’t believe how much booze he brought with him!