Tag: snark

Holy cannolli and guacamole.

No wonder we bloggers tend towards growing slightly fluffy. How long have you been blogging from bed? I mean, I do realize that this thing called a “laptop” is not a new invention to most of you.  I remain as culture shocked as a country dog discovering city fire hydrants. “Wow, I can leave my mark here. And here. And here too! There is a Dog!”

Although the bed thing is overrated. Unless you have the flexibility of a 12 yr old, and do NOT have a slipped disc, the lying on your tummy arched up on elbows to type is over quicker than a DOJ self-investigation.  The propped on pillows against the headboard, with the thing on your knees is OK, but it isn’t officially “lying in bed”… its more like sitting up slouchily. (yes i make up words) That leaves the side lay, but again, the one arm head prop leaves only one hand with which to type.  This must be the favored position of the guy who invented spell check. All I need now is a mini-fridge and one cup coffemaker, and I’d never leave the room.

Talk about fat, lazy Americans. What a hoot.

I used to have to actually GET UP and run room to room when I live blogged something on TV. Now even that meager exercise is a thing of the past. I do suppose it is self-limiting though. The day my belly overhangs the mousepad clickers, I will have to do something.

No small wonder webcams have become passe. I don’t want to see your morning breathed, hair mussed, jammy wearing, lazy ass, fluffy growing, bed lying self any more than you want to see me now. I like my illusions, and the control of only letting the finished product out.

Magnum really needs to look into the stuff his sidekick has been getting into.

I’m sorry. Really. I had to say it.

Its the bad 80’s hair too. Dead Ringers.

With that image burned into your psyches, I bid you a good night.

“Mommy, I wanna see some real Indians praying! Can we take a helicopter ride, pleeeeaasse?” Johnny’s mother, pleased, replied “Yes sweetie, why Blackwater, the greatest homegrown American terrorist organization –

Blackwater Down

The frightening — and possibly illegal — presence of heavily armed private forces in New Orleans only demonstrates what everyone already feared: the utter breakdown of the government.

– has helicopter rides going over Bear Butte.”

I lost my liberal creds somewhere. I looked under the couch, in the glovebox, all my coat pockets, and they are just gone, man.

They must be somewhere by the “you’re an anti-semite” and “religious bigot for not liking star religions” keys.

So now I have to make a whole new set from scratch dudes, and its a total bummer.

So the very first thing I have to do, is make Barack Obama arrest Bush and Cheney.

Then I have to declare martial law in Indiana, where all those “terrified of the black guy” people in M_A’s video yesterday live.  Cuz they got guns, and they loves them some Palin and Jezuz and they ain’t gonna let no “N-word” arrest the righful Pres’nit of these God-lubbin U-natted States without a fight.

I am all over it.

…at the direction of unrepentant terrorist Bill Acorn, Buddhist Democratic candidate Barack O’Leary, who is not eligible to run for President on account of the fact that his birth certificate says he was born in Europe, instructed a voter registration group known as Filbert to conspire with the Iraqi government to give risky loans to black people, which has caused the nihilistic practice of the U.S. government bailing out Walmart, which is especially bad when you consider the fact that Tony Rezko, who is currently in prison for letting gay men and women get married in Kenya, is trying to force them to unionize, a practice that maverick Sarah Palin said “No, thank you” to as mayor of Alabama when she wasn’t steadfastly monitoring whether or not Vladimir Preston was or was not rearing his head out from Mexico, which we need to build a wall around, because the mostest importantest thing to the U.S. Americans is who is going to pick our orange juice for $50 an hour, which we can’t do on account of the fact that Raila Odinga wants to tax not just the RICH, but the Sexual Education Class for kindergartners, which is why YOU MUST VOTE for What’s-His-Name, who ABSOULTELY AND COMPLETELY has a plan to catch Harry Pelosi, and whom Republicans only nominated because the rest of their candidates were total ball-sacks.

The nomination of Senator John (the “Maverick”) McCain has caused a lot of consternation among our nation’s true right-wing heroes who feel he isn’t conservative enough to fill President Bush’s shoes.  How can we separate the men from the boys (and the women, and the Hispanics, etc.) in the right-wing movement?  The following test is a simple way to do just that — calculate your right-wing IQ and use it to exclude the unwashed masses who are stinking up our Big Tent!

Record your answer for each of the following ten questions.  The answers and a grading scale are listed below.  No peeking until you have locked in each of your answers.  The integrity of true conservatives means the “honor system” should work perfectly fine to score your own test.

Ready to begin?    

Irrefutable proof.

No one can deny the truthfulness of these photographs, taken ALL BY MYSELF.

This is a clear indication that Edwards was part of a conspiracy to keep people from knowing about his love child.

You’ve all been waiting patiently, so I’d like to finally, at long last, break the silence and reveal the photograph that CONCLUSIVELY SHOWS that Edwards is a scummy liar baby daddy.

The quality of the photo is not the best, I used black and white film.

Shocking photograph below the fold!